Greetings

[Violet_R]

Hello there, my name is Violet! Here is a little about my life story and what brought me here...

 

I am fairly new to all of this, so please bare with me. I am 23 and currently living in southern Minnesota, but was born as a boy in Michigan. I was raised by very conservative parents and attended a private school. Early on in life I felt something was always slightly off. I grew up never really connecting with the other boys, I always hung with the girls and felt the most comfortable with them. Other than playing sports, I tended to be a recluse and hide in my room. When I became old enough to be aware of the differences between boys and girls I questioned why I wasn't able to be like the girls. My faith based parents nipped that in the butt and lashed out on me when they found me trying on a flower girl dress in the store my mom worked as a seamstress. For years after that I just had this itch to wear girls clothing. Finally, I became old enough to drive and bought some of my own things, but had to be very careful since I still lived with my parents. Well, they found it and flipped out, and long story short, I didn't do anything experimental again until I lived on my own. Now, my job has required me to move several states away, and working with my counselor (who suggested this site) has really lead me down a path to realize that I am trans. My wife so far has been supportive, but at this moment in time I fear the future because I don't see a path that allows me to be my true self without losing something major. My job isn't the most inviting to the LGBT community, and both of our parents lead us to believe they'd disown us if I came out as a woman.

 

So that's where I'm at, struggling to really accept myself based off of the things I'm attached to in this life. I look forward to using this site to help myself grow, and find ways to love myself appropriately. Thanks for reading! Sorry for being a little long.

[Jackie C.]

Hi Violet! I'm from Michigan also (I'm a little West of Detroit). Welcome to the community!

 

I'm sorry your parental units are insisting on being awful. Half of mine were awful. My wife's parents have been very welcoming and accepting of my situation. Unfortunately that means I don't see my birth father or my egg donor any more. While I was upset at first, I'm over it now.

Well, that's not entirely true. We haven't told Susan's dad. I've been fully dressed as myself and using my feminine voice around him, we just (at my wife's insistence) haven't told him. My sister in law, niece and nephew are great though.

I also work from home so literally nobody cares what I'm wearing. Today is a gaming t-shirt, maroon women's jeans and my teal sweatshirt because it's cold here. Though I've been told horror stories about Minnesota winters. It's probably cold there too.

 

My advice is generally, "Do what you need to do so you're not killing yourself." I forced my dysphoria down for a long time. It's poisonous and nearly drove me to suicide more than once. Your wife is supportive, so that's good. Mine is too. It turns out, "I like boobs," is one of the happiest phrases in the English language.

 

So hey, welcome! Ask us things! Explore! Read stories! Learn!

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

Welcome Violet!  I am glad you found us. Great place to ask and read stories of the  others in nearly the same boat as you.  
Be thankful your spouse is supportive.  Mine is too but has a hang up if not being lesbian.  She wouldn’t be but she thinks otherwise.  
I hope you keep posting.  

[Violet_R]

Jackie, thank you so much! Yeah, there's not a major difference between their winters other than Minnesota's averaging about 10-20 degrees colder from what I've heard. This is my first to experience and we are in single digits now. My wife is overall pretty darn supportive, still a few things to figure out but we'll get there. As for my work, I would love to work from home but the position I'm in and the company pay me too well to leave. I hope to pay off my debts (some to my mother) and sometime after that start to truly transition as she won't be able to hold it over me and I can financially afford to quit my current job.

 

Shawne, thank you too! I'm happy to be here and excited to learn more and hope to share more as things come up.

[SaraAW]

Welcome Violet. Glad you found us. I grew up in Canada, just across the border from Detroit and spent a bit of time over the years in Michigan. 
 

Getting financially healthy is always a good idea. As Jackie has said, find little things you can do to get by until you can figure out how far you want to transition and be sure you can do so fairly safely. There’s always some risk you’ll have to live with. 
 

Lots of wonderful people here, so ask questions, feel free to share and know that you can be your true self here. 
 

*hugs*

[ToniTone]

Hi and welcome to our little niche on the internet! You'll find this place supportive and full of friendly people ?

 

Fellow Minnesotan. I live in the Twin Cities. So cold today! I'm a cold baby, I don't like it... :.;

 

~Toni

[Jani]

Hello Violet.  Welcome.

 

The advice you've gotten to get financially secure is great.  Without it you are locked into the position you're in now.  As to parents, they chose their lives and you get to choose yours.  Hopefully seeing that you are happy should be enough for them to come around to accepting who you are, but we know in real life that isn't always the case.   Be true to yourself. 

 

You are still young so you have time to plan to do this right.  Eventually you will be able to find a job at a more accepting company.  Until then, bide your time, save and plan.  I'm happy to read you've got a counselor and your wife is supportive.  Keep the lines of communication open with her.  Its important! 

Cheers, 

Jani

[TTheta]

Welcome to the Forum Violet

 

Don't forget to enjoy the little things along the way, this journey will be hard but will also build memories. Wow okay, I sound really cheesy haha. Anyways, we welcome you with open arms! 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Violet,

Welcome to Transpulse, I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love, 

Timber Wolf ?

[Rachel76]

Hi Violet, welcome! I have a similar parent (Father) that I’m sure will disown me when I come out to him. I also have a supportive spouse, we are lucky there (she too has a hang up on being lesbian, she won’t do it but is willing to try). Anyway, our stories are similar and I look forward to learning more about you!

[Sandra6sandy9sand]

Hi Violet, welcome. I was born in the middle 40’s and wondered for a long time why I wanted to be a girl. It has only been the past few years that I have accepted myself as transgender. I have told my wife that I like wearing woman’s cloths and I wear them all the time. She is somewhat tolerant of my feminine side but still insists on buying me men’s clothing at Christmas.

 

I take responsibility for not communicating well with her and letting her know how I feel. Hopefully I will have the courage to move a little further down the road in 2020. I fear loosing her and my family. Be patient and move forward slowly. Life is too short to be unhappy.

 

Hugs

 

Sandra