Do you keep a journal of your journey?

[ShawnaLeigh]

I have been told this is a good thing to do especially when you are feeling down or stressed or worse.  I want to do this but honestly I am to lazy.  Plus I write down just about everything here at TP and get real time feed back on issues, questions, and feelings of confusion.  

So I do write down things both positive and negative concerning my journey.

I suppose years from now it would be nice to have all this that I write here compiled into one file or notebook.  

But the therapy of writing your feelings and thoughts down are stratified for me here.

 

What do you do?

[DeeDee]

Yup, ShawnaLeigh I write here: https://ironicissues.wordpress.com/ every week, plus I blog on this site too when something's just on my mind. It is good to be able to read back over how you were feeling and what you thought about it. Some posts are longer than others but it can be about different topics, it is easy to find and some folks comment and help by offering a different perspective or encouragement. Forums for me are more about Q & A, but really just do what works for you.

[Jackie C.]

Kind of? I keep my therapist appraised by e-mail and when I'm feeling especially stressed, I'll post on my MeWe site or write it in my physical journal in red sparkle-ink. Sometimes I'll write in the margins of my workout journal. I was keeping a more detailed record earlier in my transition, but that kind of fell by the wayside.

 

Of course I'll bitch here when something comes up that I think would be funny or informative to share. Also, when I need to vent about something. Like hot flashes. Which suck.

 

Hugs!

[Susan R]

Do you keep a journal of your journey?
 

Sadly, I have never been good about keeping a journal or diary.  I always worried growing up about it getting into the wrong hands.  After I came out to family last April and May, I sent my family updates every few weeks or if there was a milestone worth reporting.  This is the closest thing I have to a log of changes in my transition journey.  I do have several posts here on TP that detail some of my earlier journey.  I wish I had started a blog similar to DeeDee’s which is always a very good read, by the way.

 

Susan R?

[TommieAnne]

After an soon-to-be-ex-wife went through dozens of volumes of my private journals - most of which predated our relationship - and began berating me about what i wrote, I burned them all. Have not kept a functional journal since, although I have tried many times to get started again. I have at least 5 bound journals with only the first 4 or 5 pages used, the rest blank.

I doubt I'll ever be able to journal again, no matter how hard I try.

TA

[secondlook]

I have started a journal within the past week, it's helping me sort through a lot of complex emotions and thoughts. Sometimes I get overly fixated on a single thought and writing it down seems to help. 

[ToniTone]

I'm not really good about maintaining a journal. But I consider my thread here, Toni's Tale, for that purpose. 

 

~Toni

[ToniTone]

1 hour ago, TammyAnne said:

... and began berating me about what i wrote, I burned them all. 

I'm sorry she compelled you to do that. It's not fair... 

[A. Dillon]

Yes, I actually do! I don't write in it daily, but whenever something important happens, I always add to my voice diary of my laptop. That way, I will also be able to hear the progression of my voice over time. For now, I can gladly say that months of training my voice has definitely lowered it quite a bit, and while it might not be exactly what I want, you can't knock progress! It is also more helpful than writing because you just set a time limit and say whatever comes to mind. Hearing your own voice really gives you a better feeling of exactly what you were going through in that moment, and a clearer picture in the whole. I have started crying before, and that raw emotion while you are talking with just yourself and the microphone is something that you can really look back on. It can be a tad more stressful, sure, but I find that there is much less pressure as you are just doing and saying whatever you want.

[Belle]

Like DeeDee I blog about mine. It's not necessarily a journal but it's an outlet to express my journey in words.

 

https://medium.com/@qtcbelle

 

Belle ❤

[Belle]

5 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

After an soon-to-be-ex-wife went through dozens of volumes of my private journals - most of which predated our relationship - and began berating me about what i wrote, I burned them all. Have not kept a functional journal since, although I have tried many times to get started again. I have at least 5 bound journals with only the first 4 or 5 pages used, the rest blank.

I doubt I'll ever be able to journal again, no matter how hard I try.

TA

That is so awful @TammyAnne... I'm so sorry you have gone through such trauma. I hope one day you will be able to heal enough to stay a journal again.

 

Belle ❤?

[ShawnaLeigh]

6 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

After an soon-to-be-ex-wife went through dozens of volumes of my private journals - most of which predated our relationship - and began berating me about what i wrote, I burned them all. Have not kept a functional journal since, although I have tried many times to get started again. I have at least 5 bound journals with only the first 4 or 5 pages used, the rest blank.

I doubt I'll ever be able to journal again, no matter how hard I try.

TA

This is truly an awful thing for someone to do.  I’m so sorry you had to go threw that.  ?

 

I have wanted to do this all my life but something always holds me back from doing it. Perhaps my ingrained sense of need to hide everything about the person I was inside was so strong that I just couldn’t “confess” this even in written words.  
Then there was the ever present fear of having someone read it, or worse, like what happened to TammyAnne.  I honestly do not know how much of a negative impact that would of had on me.  
These days I’m out.  Not to the world but to most everyone I care about so these fears don’t control me any longer.  
Why do I still resist?

[Jackie C.]

10 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

After an soon-to-be-ex-wife went through dozens of volumes of my private journals - most of which predated our relationship - and began berating me about what i wrote, I burned them all.

 

Ugh. That should have been a huge red flag. Who DOES that? Those were private. We do not snoop through our partner's private things without permission. I'm so very sorry you had to endure that breach of trust @TammyAnne.

 

8 hours ago, A. Dillon said:

That way, I will also be able to hear the progression of my voice over time. For now, I can gladly say that months of training my voice has definitely lowered it quite a bit, and while it might not be exactly what I want, you can't knock progress!

 

I love voice training! Resonance is more important than pitch though. Testosterone will help you with pitch, resonance is more about speaking low through your chest. Girls speak more from the upper middle parts of their throat and project through their mask (face). Guys talk out of the lower part of their throat and resonate in their chests. Well worth every second I put into it.

 

Hugs!

[MetaLicious]

My wife suggested I keep a journal shortly after I came out to her.  I can't claim any real diligence in my journaling, but I try to write something at least once a week.  If I could transmit thouhts about what I'd like to write directly to  my journal, I'd probably have several volumes by now.  Raising two young children while being the family caregiver leaves me thinking about writing far more often than I actually have time for.

 

@TammyAnne, I am so sorry to hear that.  It breaks my heart to think of such a violation...