Should I keep my name I've been going by for 4 years, or change it to something I'm more comfortable with?

[Micheal Emerson]

Hello, my name is Michael/Max Emerson.  I'm kinda in name purgatory. Let me explain why.

I've been going by Max for 4 years, since even before I came out. And everyone in my life calls me Max, with the few occasional doctors or substitute teachers or slip ups. But I never chose the name, and lately that's been bothering me.

How it came about:  I was doing a skit in theater class, and my name in the skit was Max. That's it. It just kinda stuck. To the point that, when I came out, I asked my mom to call me Max.

That was 4 years ago. And lately the name doesn't feel quite right. It's my name, sure, but it feels wrong. And I want to change it. To Michael. 

Pros for changing it: Euphoria when I hear my name, More traditionally masculine(as opposed to neutral) and I really like the name, and the nickname is Mikey

Cons: Mom wouldn't like it, it would confuse people I am not out to as trans, it would confuse my little brothers

I need advice.

[tracy_j]

My personal view is that it is your decision as you will have to live with whatever you choose. No-one else here is in your shoes and fully seeing the situation so is really not ideaally placed to choose an option. There will be others who can give you the benefit of their experience which is of more value. Don't forget that you could change your name at a later date which may be more helpful to all. You may also be clearer in yourself.

 

Tracy

[Jackie C.]

I'm with Tracy. You've got to wear your name, it should fit you comfortably. I wore a couple before I settled on one that really fit and it brings me joy every time I hear it. Everybody should have that experience and feel joy in hearing their own name.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

In full agreement with these ladies.  

Your name has to be you to YOU and no one else.  You can not base this sort of decision on how others may or may not feel and if it may confuse others or not.  If anyone has an issue then that's on them not you.  Not trying to be mean but its true.  You have to be the person you want and need to be inside and out.

Be you.

Best advice.

[Firenze]

Lately, I've been considering going by a different name as well; for different reasons. I think most people will try on different names before settling on one that is truly them. If you can try it with a couple friends first, that may be better than telling everyone right away anyway, in case you do decide do go by something else, or it doesn't 'fit'. 

[TrIIIy]

Agreed. Your name should make you happy, not everyone else. It may take time for people to come around to the idea of calling you something else, but it really isn’t much of an inconvenience for anyone. People change their names all the time. Remember when Snoop Dogg was Snoop Lion, and everybody just went with it? Then he changed it back, and people were like, “Ok, sure.” It’s just not as confusing as people make it out to be.