Locked in the closet

[Yurian Ariake]

Have you ever finally had a small amount of courage to look at your parents, whether both at once, or one at a time like I had to with mine since they're divorced, and say "I'm your son"?

I made the step of doing so, finding that it not only released me, but also placed a lock on my closet. My parents made it very clear they will not support me, nor accept that I'm their son. Not only that, but my mom has been very criticising about my clothes, and forcing female pronouns on me. I'm stuck with the constant reminder that it will be a while before I can start with a gender therapist, get horomone therapy, or even sex reassignment surgery. My body is a prison, and in current, my parents hold the key. Worst? I have absolutely no coping skills whatsoever, and my dysphoria is getting worst each day.

[Jackie C.]

My parents would be ecstatic if I said, "I'm your son." They were less thrilled with the, "You actually have a daughter," speech that they got. Well, my egg donor is still in denial. Dad seems to be doing OK with it. 

 

On the plus side, you're an adult in two years and can do what you want with your body. I know it seems like a long time, but it really isn't and as transmasculine, your hormones have already done all the damage that they're likely to do. Two years and you can start correcting that. In the meantime, you can plan, dream and work out how you're going to get the help you need once you're out from under your mother's thumb. I know it feels suffocating now, but you're young. You have plenty of time.

 

In the meantime, dress up a little. You can make yourself look more masculine with a little creative clothing application. Look for things that make you boxier and straighten out whatever curves you have. Come out to friends that you trust. Having people in your life who support you for who you are is a big boost. Just because your parents don't support you doesn't mean you need to stay in the closet. You might also want to talk to a school counselor, they might be able to hook you up with trans groups and resources in your area. We're also here if you need to vent. After all, that's what we're for.

 

Hugs!

[Lexi C]

Hey Yurain...It super tough at the beginning and maybe they would'nt come around to loving the real you, But You need to stay true to yourself and be the best man and son you can be. If they still don't get it, then it might be time to move  on once you get old enough and secure a place. However, that said, see if you can get yr parents to go with you to see GT that would really be helpful to all parties involved . Be safe, Be Proud, and Kick Ass

[Skyfall]

I haven't fully come out to either of them but she does put up a fight with me occasionally about my nails and body image in general. Lately she's just given up there and went all silent about it all. I'm sure to some extent she does know but doesn't directly bring it up along with anything to do with sexuality in general so it may just be something she's insecure about and doesn't want to touch. My relationship with her has been rocky but we at least can still live together as I have to right now. My father which I have a much better one with on the other hand never touched the topics at all and I'm sure he's caught wind of it too but either doesn't really care or simply doesn't want to know. They're divorced and I'm only with my single mother right now. 

 

I would say personally stand your ground but try to keep yourself safe too till you can be more independent. If you haven't had any coping skills yet I would say just start trying things that interest you and give yourself more space where there whole thing is no longer a focus in. Hyper focus on one thing no matter what it is never ends well and I been down that road too many times. I have a few nets to fall back on when it comes to getting into a routine, keeping myself healthy with anything extra in moderation, being outside especially disconnecting from society as a whole for a while in nature, and with enjoying music/shows that let my mind drift elsewhere for a while. It gets a little more claustrophobic and obnoxious in the Winter but we're pulling through.

[A. Dillon]

1 hour ago, Skyfall said:

I haven't fully come out to either of them but she does put up a fight with me occasionally about my nails and body image in general. Lately she's just given up there and went all silent about it all. I'm sure to some extent she does know but doesn't directly bring it up along with anything to do with sexuality in general so it may just be something she's insecure about and doesn't want to touch. My relationship with her has been rocky but we at least can still live together as I have to right now. My father which I have a much better one with on the other hand never touched the topics at all and I'm sure he's caught wind of it too but either doesn't really care or simply doesn't want to know. They're divorced and I'm only with my single mother right now.

 

I have a similar thing with my parents, except backwards - my mom just doesn't bring it up and coexists, while my dad has a problem with all of it. It can get very frustrating, especially when my mom never stands up for me, but I at least know that she is not against me. I have told my dad that he has a son before, and while the initial response was "absolutely not", now he just falls silent and stops talking to me for a bit. While being given up on is never a good feeling, it is still better than having him work against me.