Pronouns are started to naturally shift in a place that doesn't know!

[Ronin82]

I've been on T for about 7 months now. The Aikido dojo I attend classes at has known me for over 7 years. The beginning of this year, I asked them to use a gender-neutral "nickname" for me and only told the head instructor I didn't care what they called me as long as it wasn't "girly". They know me as female, so I don't rock the boat with that assumption since I've been using the women's changing rooms all this time (and still have to, unfortunately). I have, however, stopped shaving my legs. I have made absolutely NO COMMENTS about pronouns, my gender identity, or my hormone treatments, only did the name change. Well, I was at lunch with the group after class this weekend, and apparently the head instructor noticed when the cashier called me "sir" and I didn't correct them. Tonight in class, my instructor "accidentally" referred to me as "him", tried to correct himself, stumbled a little over the pronouns, then just used my current name. This was a totally organic event! I feel like I'm finally starting to really LOOK more like a guy than a girl, and its noticeable to people who interact with me on a weekly basis! Its been my policy so far not to correct pronoun or gendered comments at this time, since I'm still pre-top surgery and its easy to get confused. Also, I'm taking my time and letting things happen without forcing anything, since its easier on everybody this way due to logistical concerns. Once I get top surgery I'll be more proactive on correct gendering, but right now it just doesn't matter that much. Just call me whatever you think fits me! Looks like the masculine is DEFINITELY fitting me more! I LIKE this!!

[tracy_j]

That's good to hear! I have wondered quite a lot about correcting someone who gets pronouns wrong. I don't  and usually they come right.

 

3 hours ago, Ronin82 said:

 Just call me whatever you think fits me!

 

I remember saying almost exactly that to someone a couple of years back. Afterward I thought it a bit unfair to say that as it put them on the spot but that's how I felt. Good luck for the future!

 

Tracy

[ShawnaLeigh]

6 hours ago, Ronin82 said:

Its been my policy so far not to correct pronoun or gendered comments at this time, since I'm still pre-top surgery and its easy to get confused. Also, I'm taking my time and letting things happen without forcing anything, since its easier on everybody this way due to logistical concerns.

This has been my stance too.  I'm not to a point where I can enforce my will of being called the correct name and pronouns as I am still presenting male in certain situations.  It stings but I certainly can not blame the for doing so if I am dressed as such. 

In a couple weeks I may have a different opinion as I start to present my true self full time.  I will then just say nothing or remind them politely.

 

Ok so I will have an issue with those that "just cant seem to remember" or try the old defense of "its how I knew you forever and its hard to change that", when they gender me wrong time after time.  I will definitely say something then. 

Even a chimp can be taugh tricks; so can they.  LOL

 

I think it is awesome you are having this happen organically and I look forward to a day this is the case for me.

Congrats!

 

[Willowtry]

That's a very nice turn of events. I'm glad for you.

[Firenze]

Congrats, that's awesome!