Transgender Signs

[KayC]

Hi OB!  I have similar memories of childhood and early teen years (even pre-puberty) of "alone" time where I could dig through both my mother's lingerie. (and even grandmother's, since she lived with us)
Fear of discovery and guilt was always present, but I specially liked my grandmothers old fashioned corsets with garter straps (still have a fondness for those now) ?

I think when our dysphoria and obsessions with dressing come at such an early age, to me, its more of a confirmation of our gender dysphoria, since those are innocent times, and we are less influenced by society norms, and hormones/sexual desires.  We are only trying to do what feels right. 

Hope that helps with the connection to similar feelings❣️

[SL]

One of my earliest childhood memories related to being trans was when I was 3 years old and my family had to go to a wedding. My mom picked out a purple floral dress for me to wear and I told her I didn't want a dress when she bought it so when it came time to get ready for the wedding I refused to put it on. This led to a bit of a fight and I asked why I couldn't dress like my dad and she said it was because girls had to wear dresses and I didn't understand why that applied to me because I didn't see myself as a girl. I think my dad finally got me to put on the dress by telling me if I wore the dress that time we'd get an outfit like his for the next wedding and he taught me how to tuck in my shirt and tie a neck tie so I'd be ready for next time. There wasn't another wedding and my mom was always the one that took me shopping so I didn't get the suit like I'd hoped when I was little. I got my first suit last year and it was everything I'd hoped it be. 

 

There was kind of a similar situation when I was four and my pre-school took a field trip to a fire station and I told one of the firefighters I wanted to be a fireman when I grew up. They told me I couldn't be a fireman but I could be a firefighter. I asked why and they said it was because I wasn't a boy and I thought it was some serious BS. They were lucky my parents taught me not to cuss in public because they would have been astonished by what I wanted to say haha. (Yes, I was one of those toddlers with a sailors mouth.)

 

The one thing I will say about who has it easier is it really depends on your parents. The only things that were really gendered for me were clothes. I always had to choose from the girls section, but after seeing my dad in a French Maid costume in third grade (it was for a costume party) and being introduced to RuPaul's Drag Race in fourth grade I realized maybe it was okay to wear a dress from time to time even if I wasn't a girl inside because I saw it as like playing a character. Then the first time I willingly tried on a dress my mom was so happy she cried and guilted me into buying it and wearing it and I was so uncomfortable, but it was the first time I felt like my mom was proud of me so I just tried to suppress my discomfort for the following 8-10 years.

 

My mom tried to get me dolls and stuff, but I always never saw baby dolls as a "girl" thing because babies also have dads and dads care for babies too. My dad let me and my sister roam into the guys section of the toy store more so cars were big for both of us but I also liked tools because I did projects around the house with my dad. I did like Disney princesses because I thought they were pretty and I admired their stories (mainly Cinderella for dealing with the evil stepmother, Pocahontas for her love of nature and independent and caring attitude, and Mulan because... well I think that's obvious). I hoped I would have a fairy godmother that would one day make it so my reflection would show who I am inside and I could escape my mom and live in the woods and you know what? Now I have a wonderful therapist who is making that happen! She is helping me work through the issues with my mom instead of just running away, but she's also helping me learn how to properly form and hold boundaries with my mom. Therapists and doctors are just fairy godparents turning us into the royalty we are, only it's a tad slower than Cinderella's transformation.

 

Also, I was actually probably lucky I wasn't born with male genitalia because if I had been my dad would have tried to name me Thor or Conan so I'm glad I get to pick my name haha. 

[KathyLauren]

Like many others, I have early memories of wanting to be a girl, and of borrowing my mother's clothes.  But one memory suddenly jumped into my consciousness not long ago.

 

When I was about 17, my mother (my parents had split up by then) got me an electric shaver.  The idea irritated me in an unfamiliar way.  It had literally not occurred to me that I would ever need to shave.  Being given a shaver felt insulting.

 

Of course, I did start to use it before long, conforming to the box that I was being thrust into.

 

But examining the memory with 20/20 hindsight, that was the earliest example I can find of unmistakable gender dysphoria: that unfamiliar, vaguely insulting irritation.  The cross-dressing and the wishing to be a girl came first, but I don't recall any dysphoria with them.  But that shaver, whoa!  That feeling became all too familiar in later years.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, SL said:

Also, I was actually probably lucky I wasn't born with male genitalia because if I had been my dad would have tried to name me Thor or Conan so I'm glad I get to pick my name haha. 

 

Hey now, Thor isn't a bad name. You could call your... um, unit... Mjolnir. I've got a friend named Storn. It works perfectly well.

 

Hugs!

[Guest]

6 hours ago, KayC said:

Hi OB!  I have similar memories of childhood and early teen years (even pre-puberty) of "alone" time where I could dig through both my mother's lingerie. (and even grandmother's, since she lived with us)
Fear of discovery and guilt was always present, but I specially liked my grandmothers old fashioned corsets with garter straps (still have a fondness for those now) ?

I think when our dysphoria and obsessions with dressing come at such an early age, to me, its more of a confirmation of our gender dysphoria, since those are innocent times, and we are less influenced by society norms, and hormones/sexual desires.  We are only trying to do what feels right. 

Hope that helps with the connection to similar feelings❣️

Hi KayC: Your mention of your grandmother reminded me of one time when I spent a week (I think it was) with my mother's sister & her husband. (They had no children.) I think I must have been into my early teens by this time. Anyway I recall one day the two of them were both gone. And I recall rummaging through the dresser in the spare bedroom I was sleeping in to see if there was anything there I could wear. (As I recall, there was not.) I don't think I went into their bedroom though. I think that would have felt too intimidating. ?

[Rorelai]

One of the earliest "signs" for me was when I was in elementary school. We used to play boys-team girls-team. The first day of kindergarten I played as part of the boys-team, and it just didn't feel right. After that day I just hung out on the girls-team for pretty much the rest of elementary. 

At the time nobody ever really called me out on this, and I guess it was fair since one of the girls would always be on the boys-team to be with her "boyfriend", if you can call it that in kindergarten.