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Giving up is to easy ( not )

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I gave up on my dream once . Over the years its been a constant  depression  . Im tired of giving up . I dont know how but if theres a way i find it . Some things  you just cant get rid of it like a itch  you cant scratch  it just gets  bigged to the point you cant denie what  you are . That were i am now . So if it ment to be ill well become  what i truly  am for once  .  Prayer  welcome  hugs 

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Carolyn Marie

Kelly, most of us have times when we've put our dreams aside for one reason or another.  Sometimes we put them aside for years thinking we'll never see them come true.  But then something happens and they do come true.  You have to keep hoping and taking whatever steps you can, when you can.  Journeys can take years, but every journey starts with a dream.  Please keep your dream alive.




Carolyn Marie

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Jackie C.

I gave up on a lot of dreams sweetie. Fortunately, transitioning and becoming my authentic self has helped me wake up and start reaching for them again. Maybe someday, but you can't give up hope.



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    • Mmindy
      Hello Rami, I'm 63 and Jackie Rabbit also sent me here. I know I'm a few days late with the welcome, life gets busy and I've had a lot of ups and downs this past month.   Hugs and thank you for sharing your story,   Mindy🐛🌈🦋
    • SaraAW
      Thanks for sharing more of your story. I am sure there are plenty here will relate to parts. I know it was the 3rd time my wife questioned me before I finally admitted it to her.
    • Dinaki
      Beautiful voice Sade has, thank you for sharing her with us all here.   This is a Greek dance and song called Zorba The Greek and I wanted it to share with you. At the beginning of the clip, the Acropolis is to view. Enjoy it, Greece I love you, and soon I will come to my land (hopefully)
    • Dinaki
      @Willow, I am expressing my pensive sadness with what you wrote, my compliments to you dear!
    • Carolyn Marie
      I just heard a news story that said she had bowed out of the project and had apologized to the community.  Social media has its uses, don't it?  😆   Carolyn Marie
    • Patti Anne
      Thank you Willow The story tells the tales of nearly everyone on the forum. My heart breaks for all the little girls who never get to come out and play.💔
    • Rami
      Three strikes and I am out While very much a boy, I have always been attracted to all things female. Wore mothers clip on earrings, lipstick, perfume and just about every article of her clothing, you name it I wore it.  I loved being mom’s little helper in the kitchen and around the house. During the early years my parents were of the mind to let me be. That is until I reached puberty when my dad pulled me aside and asked me straight out about me wearing my mom’s clothes.  He asked my if I wanted to be a woman, if I wanted a sex change operation, this was 1965. I am sure now that this encounter was well planned and thought out, the purpose of which was to get me to stop wearing my mom’s clothes. Being somewhat taken back by dad's ambush  I immediately responded, no I do not want to be a woman and he immediately said, then stop wearing your mom’s clothes, which I did. Denial number 1.   15 years later, you will find me dressing in my first wife's clothes. This resulted in being dragged to a marriage counselor, another denial, a quick divorce and a deep suppression of my desire to be a woman. At the time I seriously considered transition, I actually had a deep discussion with a close friend about undergoing transition and he adamantly dissuaded me against the endeavor citing the unbearable hatred and persecution I would experience. This was 1983 and haven seen first hand how transgender people were treated, I did not need much convincing. Out comes the shovel and once again I buried my desires for womanhood.  Denial number 2.   Years go by, I remarry, raise a family, have a successful career, retire, become an emptynester and out of the coffin scratches and claws my desire for all things female. I can attest to what Ann Koch wrote  “It Never Goes Away”. Long and short, a few years back my current wife innocently happened upon some pictures I took on my phone, deleted from the phone but were backed up to the cloud of me dressed in her clothes, denial number 3, there can be no more denial I am out.   Given the choice of divorce or therapy, I chose the later and after a couple of years of therapy and reading just about everything I could on the topic of transgender, I have come to accept myself as transgender. I now have two therapists and a doctor managing my HRT, which is going on 4 months. Having estrogen in my veins and starting to grow breasts is absolutely amazing.
    • Dinaki
      Very good one @Jani
    • Dinaki
      Every time I see that clip dear Tori, I burst to laughs
    • Shay
      i understand. she gave me the option of just the two  a day E and not spiro but,finasteride and i do have a slightly high psa from my naughty days five years ago when i was gray marketing and self medicating...so i,asked to be put on that,as well  the hair growth might be a bonus hopefully... figurw its not a bad thing to try with her permission.
    • SaraAW
      @Shay Hi Shay, I believe you are referring to Finasteride. I took this for awhile too. This is not a true AA, it will stop conversion of T into DHT, which helps to reduce hair loss and maybe regrow some. At higher doses, typically those to treat prostate cancer,  it has some better AA properties, but still not great. I would not necessarily expect you to see a significant drop in your T levels, unless you are on a significant dose of E. Something to discuss with you doc on your next visit, if your T levels are still high.   For awhile I was taking Fin, E and Spiro, but recently dropped Fin, as it is not covered through my insurance and I needed to reduce my expenses.
    • KathyLauren
      Oh, my!  Willow, you should have put a trigger warning on that story.  I need a tissue now.  Beautiful!
    • SaraAW
      For me, I think it was the act of taking charge of my life and moving towards living honestly, that HRT represented that made me feel better early on. At about 3 months I really started to notice my emotional range expanding significantly, as well as the beginning of the physical changes. At this point I have 0 doubts that I made the right decision in beginning to transition and starting HRT.
    • SaraAW
      @Willow thank you for that beautiful story. 
    • Tori M
      @LittleRed, that should be pinned to the top of the HRT forum.  The real HRT experience.  My new endo asked me how my anxiety was when I was on hormones previously.  "About the same," I replied.  Some things don't change.   And some things do, unexpectedly.... believe it or not, less than a week in this time, I am already feeling a touch of a forgotten calmness and patience.  It must be the T blocker kicking in.  Good riddance to my usual hurried approach to everything!
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