Much happier wearing Male Clothes

[BorderTerrierFan]

I'm a 19 year old Female at Birth but for a very long time I've always been happier wearing male clothing and  I much prefer to shop for clothing in the mens aisle rather than the womens. I love having my hair cut short and for the first time today I went to a Male Barbers shop and got it cut how I really wanted it rather than having to opt for a Pixie cut at my local hairdressers to appease my Mum.

 

I hate having breasts and it's my desire to have them removed so I can have a flat chest but yet I'm not bothered about my lower half and I don't have any desire to have any facial hair.  As I'm presenting as a male to the outside world I would much rather be referred to as he/him rather than she/her and obviously this would mean possibly changing my name from a female one to a male one at some point.  

 

Having just come out to my Mum and Dad with their support I've just ordered my first chest binder and I'm so looking forward to being able to go out feeling flatter and not having to wear a bra.

 

I'm not sure exactly where I fit in on the transgender spectrum but I feel like I'm a female who just wants to dress and feel masculine, so am not sure I'm classed as totally F2M.

 

Does anybody else share these feelings?

[Erikka]

For me it has been just the opposite. I hated wearing mens clothes, although loathing would be closer to the truth. I love having  breasts and getting my hair styled and getting my nails done. All of which offend you. But I understand. When you are forced to be the wrong gender just because of what's between your legs then everything you wear are reminders of everything you aren't! 

I am so very glad that your parents are supporting you. That is a hurdle many do not get to cross.

Don't worry where you land on the spectrum, it will be made more clear to you as you progress on your gender journey.

Velsignelser

Erikka

 

[Siobhan]

On 7/4/2020 at 5:42 PM, BorderTerrierFan said:

I'm not sure exactly where I fit in on the transgender spectrum but I feel like I'm a female who just wants to dress and feel masculine, so am not sure I'm classed as totally F2M.

 

Does anybody else share these feelings?

 

Hi Border,

I hope that you are able to find this forum useful in your search for answers. While no one here can tell you what you are, you may find discussions that help you better determine how you may identify.

My fiance is a cisgender female who identifies as Butch lesbian. She told me that in her youth she had considered the possibility she was FTM but ultimately decided she was not, therefore she continues to use she/her profiles while still presenting in traditionally masculine appearance. I'm not suggesting or assuming your possible sexual orientation btw - this is just an example of how some navigate more masculine identities and presentation.

[Ryan]

On 7/4/2020 at 11:42 AM, BorderTerrierFan said:

I'm not sure exactly where I fit in on the transgender spectrum but I feel like I'm a female who just wants to dress and feel masculine, so am not sure I'm classed as totally F2M.

Agreed with @Siobhan. I find there are many more masculine identities for those of us who are afab. If you say you "feel like a female who just wants to dress and feel masculine" I'd look into identities such as butch or tomboy. Expression and identity don't have to match either. I like to refer to the expression as the external, such as what you wear, and how you express yourself to the world. Identity is the internal, who you feel you are inside. 

[BorderTerrierFan]

Having give it some more thought since I first posted, I know that I don't feel like a female who just wants to dress and feel masculine.  It's true to say that I feel that 'm a male trapped in a female body. 

 

I have since asked my doctor to refer me to the Gender Identity Clinic so that I can have upper body surgery and start taking testosterone.   I don't have any desire to have lower body surgery it's just the upper body that bothers me most at this point in time.

 

I'm currently in the process of getting my name changed by deed poll too so I can start using my new male name.