Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What's the strangest thing someone has said to you about being trans?


ThatDarnDodo

Recommended Posts

What's the weirdest thing someone has said to you when they found out you were trans? Something that didn't necessarily offend you but that left you going "...what."

 

For me it was something that was actually said to my mom about me. She'd told a co-worker of hers, that I'd met a couple of times, that I was nonbinary. Her response was, "Then why does she wear nail polish?" Ignoring the misgendering, I'm just surprised that me not having a gender means I can't have blue nails. But that's the kind of things that happen when you're afab and nonbinary; people think that you not identifying either way means you must hate everything feminine and be as butch as possible. Yeah, I don't get it either. I know some folks are like that but that's just not me. You can take my nail polish from my cold, dead, amazingly well kept hands. 

 

Anyone else got any stories? Hopefully more interesting than mine?

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Once upon a time, when I was out, but still regulated to the men's room (my state has bathroom laws), I was changing in the locker room before my workout. I was dressing in a gender neutral/feminine manner and wearing a sports bra. Now, I had my gym clothes underneath. I'd shuck my shirt/pants and had my shorts/tank on.

The guy changing next to me gave me the once-over and said, "You've got a lot of balls bringing those (my breasts) in here."

What do you say to that?

I wanted to say, "Well, I'd leave them at home but they cry."

What I went with was, "Well, until I get bottom surgery I'm stuck in here with all of you. I apologize if it offends, but I'll be out of here in a minute."

Nobody made a fuss afterwards and a couple of months later, my friend who runs the cleaning staff told me, "You know we have a gender-neutral bathroom, right?"

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@MaryMary I think trans people are just magnets for insane psychologists. I briefly saw a woman who admitted to never having seen a trans person in our first session and in the second one told me she'd gone and googled trans folks and had somehow come to the conclusion that most trans people are trans because they were molested as children. I died a little inside that day. 

 

@Jackie C.Oh my word, all of that sounds like a scene from a transgender sitcom.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, ThatDarnDodo said:

You can take my nail polish from my cold, dead, amazingly well kept hands. 

Nothing to add to the thread as I haven't told most people about me yet, but I actually LOL'd at that ?

Link to comment

I have had a couple of instances. I was yelled at across a gas station “that dude has tits”

The latest one is my mom insists that I’m a burden on her but she admitted I looked happy lol. She then pulls my wife aside and asked how she was handling this situation and that she can leave me.

Link to comment

So on two separate occasions I guess people at my college have tried to report their fraternity/sorority members for being transphobic towards me, even though I have no clue who these people are. The first time happened during my first weekend on campus, and I had this dude that I'd never even met before coming up to me and apologizing and saying "I just want you to know that I totally support your lifestyle no matter what anyone else tells you I've said". My response was just "that's great... Who are you again?" The second time one of the girls in my college band came over to my dorm nearly in tears because one of her sorority sister reported her for being transphobic during band but the incident she was describing never happened!? And I know now that this girl was pretty bigoted but at the time I just told her that I wasn't gonna make a big deal bc she'd always been at least decent to me when we had to interact. 

 

I guess it's just weird that being one of the only openly trans people on campus means that people will try and use you to try and bring down other members of their organizations... Like both times I was more confused than actually offended by these people. 

Link to comment

@MaryMary I was too confused to really have much of a response. Like little freshman Rory was just minding her business in the lounge when this complete stranger upperclassman comes up and starts apologizing for things I had no idea about. 

Link to comment

I would not call it weird, more of a bitter/sweet combination. I got a few dresses and was trying them on and sharing pictures with my mom to see her opinion. And for one of them she replied, “oh, this one makes you look like a real woman”. ?

I know it was said with sincerity and reassurance but it still felt unsettling. Makes you wonder if those who are close to you would ever switch from supporting acceptance to seeing who you really are. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Rorelai said:

I was too confused to really have much of a response.

@Rorelai Now that you've had time to ponder the statement you could calmly reply "it's not a lifestyle, its who I am." 

 

Valerie it sounds like the comment by your mom was made in with love for you.  As you grow and change, and the presence of Valerie becomes more natural for her, she will be better.  Have faith.

Link to comment

I bumped into a coworker while opening the door for the restroom. I was going in and he was coming out. He backed up against the door and said “woh I thought you were going to grab my crotch.” I know he thinks I like guys. I was taking back by that comment. My male ego almost kicked in because I felt like telling him to F off. But I kept it cool and just laughed it off. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore his ignorant comments.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
39 minutes ago, Michellle said:

I bumped into a coworker while opening the door for the restroom. I was going in and he was coming out. He backed up against the door and said “woh I thought you were going to grab my crotch.” I know he thinks I like guys. I was taking back by that comment. My male ego almost kicked in because I felt like telling him to F off. But I kept it cool and just laughed it off. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore his ignorant comments.

 

Wow, that guy is an -censored-. Can you report him to HR?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Michellle said:

I bumped into a coworker while opening the door for the restroom. I was going in and he was coming out. He backed up against the door and said “woh I thought you were going to grab my crotch.” I know he thinks I like guys. I was taking back by that comment. My male ego almost kicked in because I felt like telling him to F off. But I kept it cool and just laughed it off. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore his ignorant comments.

 

I would have slowly looked him up and down with an expression of utter disgust and disbelief, and said, "Why the h*** would I want to do that?" ?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

 

I would have slowly looked him up and down with an expression of utter disgust and disbelief, and said, "Why the h*** would I want to do that?" ?

I bumped into a coworker while opening the door for the restroom. I was going in and he was coming out. He backed up against the door and said “woh I thought you were going to grab my crotch.” I know he thinks I like guys. I was taking back by that comment. My male ego almost kicked in because I felt like telling him to F off. But I kept it cool and just laughed it off. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore his ignorant comments.

 

Next time I will be ready with a arsonal of comebacks. There is only so much I can take before I snap. I treat people with respect and kindnesses and expect the same in return. No one else at work has a issue with me and I am grateful. He better watch it , these hormones make me fiery...lol 

Link to comment

Thank you @Jani, after some consideration I came to the same conclusion. I have been on this journey much longer and need to remember that others are still acclimating to the “new normal” ?

Link to comment

I had a lot of bad once, but i had one fun one

I was cleaning one of long time customer house. She is a wonderful woman. I been fully out to all my clients for well over 2yrs.

She was on the phone with her daughter and  the conversation want like this

"Alex is here." she look over at me

"I mean Lexi is here. He such a great guy."  Again she looks over at me

" I mean she sucha great guy, NOT a GUY.. a Girl. He is such a great Girl."

She look over at me again her face a little red

" Jesus f chirst!!! SHE IS A SHE  not he, and I love how hard and special he make me feel."

she look at me again her face was all red. I could not stop laughing.,

I yell out " Veronica just hang up the phone before we both  have a heart attack."

Love that woman. and when i get  down that moment always make me laugh

Link to comment

When I had started transitioning one of our service techs loudly (so everyone could hear) made a comment about how I was starting to look like a girl. I didn't know what to say. I was a little shocked.  A few months later he made another loud comment that I looked more like a girl every time he saw me. This time I replied loudly "I doesn't matter what you say to me. Please stop hitting on me. I will never date you." He only talks to me about work stuff now.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Elizabeth i like that response.  I've mentioned to a couple of men over the years that i am  unfortunately not at attracted to them.  That response might have worked well for Michellle as well, with the possible addition of " you are not that attractive."

I think the strangest thing anyone said to me, and it was repeated throughout my life was:  " It is a phase and you will grow out of it."

That's strange!  Certainly when you see me now.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

When I had started transitioning one of our service techs loudly (so everyone could hear) made a comment about how I was starting to look like a girl. I didn't know what to say. I was a little shocked.  A few months later he made another loud comment that I looked more like a girl every time he saw me. This time I replied loudly "I doesn't matter what you say to me. Please stop hitting on me. I will never date you." He only talks to me about work stuff now.


That is something this guy would say to me. It’s funny this guy is a service tech also. I wonder if its the same person...lol. I love your comeback, I will use it next time. 
 
Michelle

Link to comment

Over the years I had my coworkers make plenty of statements about my reactions or things I said that compared me to their wives or some other female relatives. But instead of going defensive or getting upset I would just smile and agree. They never understood my reaction and any confrontation would just dissipate. However, for me all those statements were like badges of honor even if I didn’t fully understand why ? 

Link to comment

Hey Elizabeth 

That a good one. I used to say, " You can't afford me."

But i look yr better

 

  

Link to comment

OK so a girlfriend (an actual cis girl that's just a friend) said this too me just last night. She loves Greys Anatomy but I don't. She really want's me to get into it so we can talk about it. I tried but it really doesn't interest me one bit. Well last night she said she hoped the female hormones will kill the male part of my brain so that I can start being woman enough to like Greys Anatomy.  I told her there ain't nothing on this planet that can change me enough to be a woman that likes that show. Now give me The Walking Dead and we can talk.. lol

Link to comment
23 minutes ago, ElizabethStar said:

I felt the same way about those two exact shows. Now I  have a favorite episode of Gray's.

Elizabeth, Whats the episode. Maybe I will give it a shot.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 127 Guests (See full list)

    • Willow
    • RaineOnYourParade
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      I read each of your entries and learn so much. Thank you, especially, for the TransCentralPA info. I have been looking fora group and activities where I could express myself safely and with support. I missed this year's conference but next year might be possible and I am going to look at their other events, too.
    • April Marie
      Leadership and Management, the differences and similarities between the two as well as the applications of military leadership principles across the spectrum of professions.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...