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Salutations~ Im new here.


Shadow

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Greetings. I am biologically a woman, but have identified as tomboy, then to gender neutral, now questioning whether transitioning is right for me.

 

I kind of think if I decide to transition, I wont be getting surgery done on my lower body, although top surgery sounds amazing, regardless of what I identify as in the realm of gender.

So pretty much I have adrogynous tendencies, but am leaning towards male at this point.

I guess the fact that I said ^at this point^ might be a sign of some sort.. but anyway..

 

Shadow is the name of my male persona, but I usually use the more unisex name Rune. 

Im often mistaken for a male online and Im honestly happy about it.

 

but the idea of having to reintroduce myself over time as my masculine alter ego of sorts sounds pretty scary. Ive tried to get my bro to call me by my middle name, and he pretty much refused, even though my family prides itself on being pretty accepting in comparison to the typical American household.

I already know that my dad is pretty uneasy about it because Ive talked to him about the topic of trans before.

 

I dont care what the rest of my family will think and my friends probably wont care all that much if at all.

 

Anyway, Im realizing Ive got a lot to learn more and more.

 

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  • Root Admin

Welcome Shadow/Rune.  You are among people who understand or are beginning to understand what you are talking about, to non Trans folks it is something that cannot be understood, to us, it is simply something to be lived with.

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Thank you. I was kind of nervous when I posted my introduction, but you have helped me to feel more at ease.

 

Umm.. just wondering, though.. is everything I post going to have to go through a moderators approval or is it just for a limited amount of time?

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome @Shadow it’s a pleasure to have you with us. First I’ll let you know that after your 5th post you will no longer need moderator’s approval.

4 hours ago, Shadow said:

Anyway, Im realizing Ive got a lot to learn more and more.

Hey, don’t feel bad...I’ve been realizing how little I know for 58 years and I still have so much to learn. Everyday seems like a new adventure. Enjoy the ride and eventually you’ll arrive. Look around. You can learn much of what you want to learn right here. There are many people here that are eager to support you and will offer helpful advice when asked, myself included. I’ve been here about 2 years and I have been helped by so many along my journey, I’m always pleased to pay it forward. Thanks for reaching out. I hope to see you around.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Welcome Rune-Shadow.

As my kids love to say- gender is a social construct and people feel the need for labels. Labels generally fail unless you are totally into a binary thought process.  I wish you luck in your path of discovery where ever it may lead.  You will find unconditional support here.

 

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Welcome Aboard Shadow

Be Safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS

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    • K.S.S
      Hi, so this is pretty uncomfortable for me, talking about food, because it brings up a lot about my father. During my childhood my mother always had between 2 and 4 jobs, so she wasn't really home to see it and we didn't really tell her because we didn't know it was strange behavior. Of course she isn't stupid and confronted him when I started gaining a lot of weight at only age 2. She did her best trying to keep that stuff out of the house by my father had a "secret" cash flow and he would use it to get his own things at the downtown IGA / CVS store. So, my father would be left with just me because my (half)brother moved out/ ran away and my sister had just started preschool. He would just give me candy because I "needed something to do." As I got older, of course I was overweight so when he was angry with me he'd call me things like "ugly pig". When I got my first pair of glasses I became a dumb/ugly/fat librarian. It always seemed to make him laugh. Around my 14th birthday, we kicked him out and moved, but the damage was kind of done. Now I feel like I use food to pass the time AND when I'm upset but when I'm really hungry, (enough that I feel sick) I can't get myself to eat anything. I tell myself not to snack all the time but I still do about every other day. It doesn't help that no matter how often I explain that I'm struggling with my self control, the people I live with (my sister and her fiance) still pack the house with junk food.  I don't know what to do. If I start paying for therapy I'll never be able to afford my own place, and I'm not even sure where I'd go if I did leave. It feels like I don't matter enough to make the effort, I mean if my sister doesn't care why should I?     
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      Kylie sorry your GYN appointment went so bad. Time heals all wounds. as they say.   kymmie
    •  Kylie
      I hope you have a better day today ❤️
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      The long and winding road   HUGS   C
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    • Shay
      Right before electrolysis and therapist appointments my wife said we had to talk. We did and it was a tearful and long discussion but I'm  glad she did. Had I not been on HRT I would have fallen apart but I was loving "in the moment" and gave my complete attention to her concerns.    It drained her and me ... We talked through the electrolysis and I called in to apologize and rescheduled but I did make my appointment with my Therapist and it was a very good meeting.   I am not good with expressing my emotions and she gave me home work to help and she gave wonderful advice to discuss with my wife and welcomed her at any session or alone but felt she isn't ready yet and that we two have more groundwork to do.   I'm lucky. I have a wonderful wife and friends here who understand and co feel so good to finally have a therapist I feel really good about.   I am still drained but hopeful and optomistic
    • Shay
      @MargieK I think you let it come organically and I hope you have built trust in your child to be able to talk openly about feeling. When the topic comes but be supportive if the topic doesn't come up perhaps when stories about transgender come up on tv or news or social media make sure you mention that you understand their issue and are empathetic and build confidence in your child you want to listen.
    • ElizabethStar
      Obviously, I can't tell you how to do it, it's different for everyone and you have to do what feels right.   I can tell you what I did. At work I started by, as silly as it sounds, wearing scrunchies in my hair instead of the regular ties. The color quickly evolved from black to more fem colors. While everyone was distracted by the pink scrunchie in my hair I changed over to flare-leg jeans. Then I started wearing different tops. I did a lot of misdirection over a year. There were a couple things said but I don't think anyone really knew what was happening until I "accidentally" outed myself to the owner. I had somewhere to go after work one day and changed into more suitable clothes before I left.   Outside of work happened a lot quicker. I have a friend that I would go shopping with so I would just dress how I felt. She would help with the little social ques that cis-women already know and I was oblivious to.   The thing is, I don't want to have to bring it up in a conversation and I don't see a reason to. There are people close to me that I just outright told. Other friends that approached  me with fear in there eyes wanting to ask but didn't know how. I voluntarily told them but I've never wanted to or had a reason to bring it up in a conversation.  
    • Shay
      @Heathick I am so happy you were able to tell your psych. That is a tremendous and exceedingly hard thing to do. It should get easier for you to talk about things and as time goes by it will get easier. 
    • KathyLauren
      I love it!  Well done, Heather! 
    • Emily michelle
      Congrats Robin! I’m on my 2nd treatment of laser on my face.
    • Petra Jane
      Oh yea, that's working now. Immediately got two spam requests!   One requesting money and the other pure spam!
    • Petra Jane
      That is so weird! Thank you @Rowan. for letting us know about this. I was wondering why there was not the usual influx of junk filling up my inbox of late! Somehow, the form that the contact page used has disappeared!   I've made a simply straightforward one to replace it and will see if I can figure out how to replace the multi-function form that allowed you to choose a subject which then asked some more specific questions depending on the subject. But for now, there is a contact us form back on.
    • Brianna1
      So I am about to come out of closet soon. Have wardrobe and makeup done fairly well. So my question is how do I start telling people I am transgender? M to f. I am 54 years old. Just working on voice now to be able to pass. But to break the ice how do I bring it up in conversation??
    • Robin.C
      Omergerd ... I've got an appointment for electrolysis. Happy dance. I just needed to tell someone 😁 She's super busy this time of year here what with Spring and Summer heading our way over here, so I have to wait 2 weeks; it will fly past I'm sure. Only facial hair to start with and see how I cope. Yippee   Oh and for those following along at home, the home IPL does stuff all for my facial hair but seems to be reducing the foot and hand hair. Becoming less of a Hobbit every day ... hee hee   🤗 Robin
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