Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Name Change


HollyElizabeth

Recommended Posts

Well I took another big girl step and filled out and printed my legal name change documents. I'm so sad and nervous for this, almost scared to file the paperwork. Once I do this it will be like the death of the old me. This is the person I've always been. It feels like I'm saying good bye to a really close family member. If you are asking, YES! I am in tears right now. Damn Estrogen! Making me all emotional right now. lol

 

I am crying right now, it does feel like saying good bye to a really long time family member, like a brother. Once I'm officially Holly Elizabeth, Michael Andrew will just have disappeared from my life. Damn it! I can't stop crying. If I'm crying now, how am I going to be when I actually go to file and then go to court. Damn it! I wish this estrogen wasn't making me so emotional.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

Once I do this it will be like the death of the old me.

Guess that's why they call it your "Dead Name".      

 

 I'm starting to look into doing this now myself.  It looks like it might actually be easier than I thought - still a hassle tho.   If I get this done, I could move on to gender marker on ID.   I had thought it was necessary to have my birth certificate (in another state) changed, but apparently the law has changed from what i had seen in the past.

Still not positive about the name tho.  What I'm using now has a bit of history that I'm not sure I want to keep.

 

Good luck with your change.

Link to comment

@JandiI know, that still doesn't make it any easier to basically kill off the old me especially when I've been that me for half a century. Yes I'm 51 and a little under 2 months until 52. November 21st. Though I'm toying with changing my birthday to September 21st 2020 when I took my first dose of female hormone. Though I might keep it Nov 21st just to honor the day I came into the world. But yes, for me changing my name is going to be tough. So very tough. I tend to like to hold onto older stuff even though it might be useless.

Link to comment

Holly,

 

I am sure it is perfectly normal to feel emotional over changing your name. I haven't done it yet, but I have seen and heard that there is almost a grieving process for yourself, because it is what you have been called all your life. It is a part of your identity that you are shedding, and I am sure it is also surreal to know this is happening and there is further progress.

 

The farthest I have gotten in the name process is having a chosen name at a new doctor that I am seeing. They have my legal name, but they are calling me using my chosen name of Amber. I am still kind of getting used to being called that.

 

Try and allow yourself to grieve, but remember all you are doing is confirming who you are.

Link to comment

Congratulations Holly. That's an amazing step to take.

 

I'm still waiting to do mine. We're looking to buy a house and I don't want to cause any issues or confusion. At this point I'm not even sure if we're staying in the same state.

Link to comment

Thank you @QuestioningAmber, It is so very hard to realize that that part of your life is over. It's so very sad to say goodbye to that person. A friend of mine though it was like breaking up with a long time boyfriend. Someone that meant the world to you. All I know is that I'm crying tears of sadness at the thought of not being and yet crying tears of joy at being who I'm about to become. All I know is that a week ago I wouldn't be crying but now I'm on my 3rd day of estrogen all I am is a river of tears.. I cried at a dog food commercial today. WTH! A freaken dog food commercial. It was the one with the boy and his dog Duck, and the beach part. OMG just thinking about that is making me cry. lol

Link to comment

@ElizabethStar Thanks. I just want to get it all over. My endocrinologist seemed to bring it up more than once in my last visit, and my other doctors are already calling my Holly. I just figure that It's time. Plus I want to change the gender marker on my birth certificate and my drivers license and social security card. I just want to get it all done, I don't want there to be any doubts for anyone, especially my brother who still thinks I'm just confused right now. NO DOUBTS FROM ANYONE! I am woman, I am not a man!

 

I can understand why you haven't done it yet and I agree with your reason. Changing to your true gender right before buying a house might cause confusion. I hope you get to do it soon though, I know it has to be tough for you. Just know that I am here to talk to if you need me. Us girls have to stick together.. ;)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

I'm toying with changing my birthday to September 21st 2020 when I took my first dose of female hormone

I kinda felt like that when they finally gave me my estradiol.  Oddly enough it was within a couple of days of my actual birthday.

 

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

I'm still waiting to do mine. We're looking to buy a house and I don't want to cause any issues or confusion

This too.   I want to avoid any unnecessary complications.

 

I never have cared for my given name and mostly went by my nickname.  "Jandi" does have a bit of history to it involving my ex.  I'd kinda like to drop that stuff too, but it seems weird to keep changing it, although I am changing more and more.  I don't want to bungle this - want to feel like I'm doing the right thing.

Link to comment

@Jandi My actual birthday is in November, more than a few days. I was tempted to not start my Estradiol until then but I tried to get started on HRT as soon as I could, I really didn't want to hold off and give my doctors any doubt as to if I was serious or not. But it would have been so awesome to start estrogen on my actual birthday. lol

Link to comment

@HollyNoel I can feel you! A few days ago I legally changed my name and gender - in Germany it is quite a process, involving assessments by two different therapists and in the end a judge decides upon you. Through this process I had a lot of fears, but every involved person was just very nice to me, so it's all good!

 

It never felt like I was closing a chapter of my life or like it is the death of my old self. I had much good in my life before realising I'm trans. I'm grateful for many things in my first 40 years that formed me as a person. Knowing, that I am a woman, ever was, doesn't change that I had a good life before transitioning. It just changed my perspective.

 

Oh, and estrogen makes me emotional, too. :)

Link to comment

And here I was, looking for a place to ask: when do other girls change their names? I've been on HRT for two years, coming up in four months my FFS, so I was thinking I would file the paperwork with the courts next week. For myself I am sick of hearing my old name and really want to change to my new name.

 

Link to comment

@Jeanette West If you feel it's time, then go for it. Only you can decide the point when you want to take the name change step. After bawling my eyes out the other night while filling out my paperwork, I'm not really sure I'm ready to change my name legally. I might need more time to come to terms with shedding my old name. I got to talk to my therapist before I make that move. Anyway, whenever you do it, make sure you are ready.

Link to comment

One surprising outcome of the name change is that you discover just how MANY places you have to amend after the fact. Some are easier that others and completely uneventful, some will test your resolve ? and yet others might end up with a feeling of euphoria.

I was updating my BestBuy account (which is still unclear why they need me to call their main line from the store, but that a mystery for another day), and at the end of the conversation the customer service rep asked me whether I would like to be called sir or ma'am due to name change. No hesitation in my voice I informed her that ma'am would do wonderfully. And that made my day ? Still smiling thinking about it.

Link to comment
On 9/23/2020 at 7:28 PM, HollyNoel said:

All I know is that I'm crying tears of sadness at the thought of not being and yet crying tears of joy at being who I'm about to become. All I know is that a week ago I wouldn't be crying but now I'm on my 3rd day of estrogen all I am is a river of tears.. I cried at a dog food commercial today. WTH! A freaken dog food commercial. It was the one with the boy and his dog Duck, and the beach part. OMG just thinking about that is making me cry. lol

 

Wow, I guess estrogen can be powerful stuff!

 

I haven't done any HRT, and I have enough testosterone to know firsthand the odd sensation of crying a river on the inside, but having testosterone completely block all actual crying....And yet, even at that, I still can't stop actually tearing up like crazy every time I see the first "Let it go" in Frozen! I can't imagine how I would fare on estrogen!

 

 

Link to comment

@Heathick To be fair I had a high estrogen level before I started HRT. So I was almost in tears already, the HRT kinda pushed me over the edge.

 

I was watching the movie Paper Man, had Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Daniels, and Emma Stone in it, and I got to this one part which wasn't really sad, but I cried my eyes out. It's like, OMG Will You Just STOP It!!!  lol. I have depression already, so I cry anyway, but come on. Can't I just watch TV without having a box of tissues sitting within reach. lol

Link to comment

This is on my agenda for 2021 for my daughter, I want to wait for COVID-19 to fade away, however regardless she will be attending high school in a coupe of year and want her to have a full female identity by then. She is let me choose her new name and perhaps that is load off for her, she goes by this name now and when I started calling her by this name, her old name went south. Right now it's just making it a formality. 

Link to comment

@MomTGDaughterThat's really beautiful that shes letting you name her being that shes the girl shes always meant to be. It's the reason why I wanted to go by Holly Noel, going to drop Noel for Elizabeth. Never really felt Noel was quite right. Elizabeth is a much prettier name. If only the damned doctor wasn't so set on me being a boy. All of this could have been avoided. MEN! LOL.

 

I found out that the fee to change your name here in Illinois is set way to high at $327, I just found out tonight you can petition the court for a fee waver if you are on state assistance or at what is considered "low income". I am on SSD because of medical issues, so I should be eligible for this fee waver. I'm going to contact the courthouse and see about applying, I may also be able to skip the newspaper part because of the cost. Hopefully real soon I will officially and legally be Holly Elizabeth instead of Michael Andrew (sorry Mom).

Link to comment

I already named her a short time she transitioned earlier this year. It's just a matter of making it official. I know many slightly their boy name to sound more female, however her's is completely changed to a very feminine name. I felt it's important to have it be very feminine to help her transition with confidence and very much have a full identity of a girl. 

Link to comment

I did the same thing. My boy name is Michael Andrew but I wanted a more feminine name so I went with what my mom would have named me. So It's Holly and my middle name comes from ElizabethStar. I chose Holly Elizabeth, I think It sounds so pretty.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Holly that is a beautiful name. I like a name that flows Kymbrill Loraine, That is how we named our boys. 

 

If I had came out correctly, I would have been Patricia. From what my mom has said. don't think she said a middle name. Kymmie was my own choosing first then the middle name, Loraine. I came up with Kymmbrill for a proper name as kymmie is more of a shortened name.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Thank you @KymmieL . Holly Elizabeth does flow. And so does Kymbrill Loraine. I love that it sounds almost like one word. That's how you know that a name goes together.

Link to comment

I almost went with the name Sheila, it was pretty high on my list. I chose Star for my middle name so I could have something that sounded fun and spunky. But I like the way it sounds, Elizabeth-Star and If I want I can just go by Star since it will be a legal part of my name. When I updated my Facebook it says Star is not real name and I will have to furnish legal proof in order to use it although other people have used it. I can't say if they had problems or not but it's silly that a computer is telling me what I can use for a name.

Link to comment
On 9/26/2020 at 5:23 PM, Heathick said:

 

Wow, I guess estrogen can be powerful stuff!

 

I haven't done any HRT, and I have enough testosterone to know firsthand the odd sensation of crying a river on the inside, but having testosterone completely block all actual crying....And yet, even at that, I still can't stop actually tearing up like crazy every time I see the first "Let it go" in Frozen! I can't imagine how I would fare on estrogen!

 

 

You have no idea! :) I have to be careful at work if I start thinking maudlin thoughts I suddenly get something in my eye.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 116 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      Congrats to your family on the new addition!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Funny you think that I would be able to get through more than two sentences with how bad my stutter gets (joking, of course)   My topic would probably be mythology, random Japan factoids in my mind, or a favorite story   (Best option would be a fave story of mine including a lot of factoids on Japanese myths-)
    • Willow
      Congratulations @ivy. Nothing beats a family growing two feet at a time!
    • April Marie
      I read each of your entries and learn so much. Thank you, especially, for the TransCentralPA info. I have been looking fora group and activities where I could express myself safely and with support. I missed this year's conference but next year might be possible and I am going to look at their other events, too.
    • April Marie
      Leadership and Management, the differences and similarities between the two as well as the applications of military leadership principles across the spectrum of professions.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...