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Heather Nicole

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Heather Nicole

Hey guys!

 

Just for perspective: I'm amab who's always dreamt of being female. Ie, much like you, just in reverse. As such, I've studied a lot of first-hand stories of what HRT feels like going from male to female. But it's occurred to me: Those stories and experiences could possibly reveal extra insight into the personal experience of estrogen (as opposed to T) that could go above and beyond what even a standard cis woman might ever be aware of.

 

(I've always found non-traditional gender matters fascinating...and liberating.)

 

So that made me really curious: Any of you FtM transitioners who have been on HRT would likely have a deeper understanding of the experience of testosterone (as opposed to E) than I ever would as an amab!

 

So I'm really curious to hear anything any of you may have to say about the experience of FtM HRT.

 

BTW, I've been looking for an excuse to mention this, and I hope I'm not out-of-line, but for what it's worth, I think trans-men have a tendency to often make for better men than cis men. Nothing against cis men, of course, (been there...!) but one thing that always makes a BIG difference in any man's personal character, regardless of his romantic preferences, is any ability to understand the female world. And this is something cis-men famously have difficulty with. So having been there yourselves, even as much as it may have been against your will (much like I never asked for, and never would've asked for my assigned birth gender), is a serious character-boost as a man, and I've noticed it tends to give you trans-guys a major leg-up above and beyond your cisgendered counterparts. At least in my opinion, for what it's worth...

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I am not quite who you are looking for, but from my limited perspective of MTF pre HRT and much looking and reading of the differences and similarities between people I would say it is a very individual thing. Natural hormone balances vary between people and so one person's answer may be completely different to another. Hormone balance also changes over life too so their effect on the body and mind will also change.

 

It's a bit difficult to put my finger on, and I will leave it to FTM's to answer you as they feel but I think it will vary a lot.

 

Tracy

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@Heather NicoleI’ve been on testosterone for nine months, and I have noticed more physical changes than mental or emotional ones. I thought that I would feel different on T, but for the most part, I just cry less easily and am preoccupied by certain types of *thoughts*. That in itself is a pretty big change, though, since I’ve never had much of a libido. 
 

I imagine that I appreciate the physical changes more than your average cis male, since I have always wanted them but was given a different type of puberty. I admit that the sheer amount of hair is a lot to process as someone who used to shave their legs. The voice change is my favorite aspect of the second puberty by far. 
 

Overall, I look more different on the outside than I feel on the inside, which I like.

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Heather Nicole
On 10/16/2020 at 2:26 AM, tracy_j said:

but from my limited perspective of MTF pre HRT and much looking and reading of the differences and similarities between people I would say it is a very individual thing. Natural hormone balances vary between people and so one person's answer may be completely different to another. Hormone balance also changes over life too so their effect on the body and mind will also change.

 

Interesting, I hadn't really thought about it that way, but it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the perspective!

 

9 hours ago, TrIIIy said:

@Heather NicoleI’ve been on testosterone for nine months, and I have noticed more physical changes than mental or emotional ones.

 

Thanks for sharing, @TrIIIy! I'll admit, this information is a little different than I was expecting, but at the same time, it meshes with my perception of masculinity: Masculinity seems to tend towards being more outwardly-directed, while femininity can tend to be more inward. Although, that may be an oversimplification.

 

9 hours ago, TrIIIy said:

but for the most part, I just cry less easily and am preoccupied by certain types of *thoughts*. That in itself is a pretty big change, though, since I’ve never had much of a libido. 

 

Oh! Ha ha, yeah...welcome to being a guy ;).

 

I can relate to both the tear-suppression and also those other preoccupied feelings very well, indeed!

 

On 10/20/2020 at 3:52 PM, TrIIIy said:

I imagine that I appreciate the physical changes more than your average cis male, since I have always wanted them but was given a different type of puberty.

 

That makes a lot of sense. I'd be very surprised if most trans people didn't also feel the same.

 

And btw, congrats on your changes and progress!!! I'm very happy for you!

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Jackie C.
On 10/20/2020 at 3:52 PM, TrIIIy said:

@Heather NicoleI’ve been on testosterone for nine months, and I have noticed more physical changes than mental or emotional ones. I thought that I would feel different on T, but for the most part, I just cry less easily and am preoccupied by certain types of *thoughts*. That in itself is a pretty big change, though, since I’ve never had much of a libido. 
 

I imagine that I appreciate the physical changes more than your average cis male, since I have always wanted them but was given a different type of puberty. I admit that the sheer amount of hair is a lot to process as someone who used to shave their legs. The voice change is my favorite aspect of the second puberty by far. 
 

Overall, I look more different on the outside than I feel on the inside, which I like.

 

By the Goddess! You're turning into a werewolf!

 

I've totally noticed the "grateful for traits from second puberty" though. I cherish each and every one of the changes HRT has wrought. Cis people just don't appreciate them like we do because we had to work harder for them. I hope I never take them for granted.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

By the Goddess! You're turning into a werewolf!

 

I've totally noticed the "grateful for traits from second puberty" though. I cherish each and every one of the changes HRT has wrought. Cis people just don't appreciate them like we do because we had to work harder for them. I hope I never take them for granted.

 

Hugs!

Just in time for Halloween, too.

 

It really is great finally getting the changes in your body that you’ve always wanted.

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Heather Nicole
On 10/26/2020 at 6:53 PM, TrIIIy said:

Just in time for Halloween, too.

 

 Haa ha!

 

On 10/26/2020 at 6:53 PM, TrIIIy said:

It really is great finally getting the changes in your body that you’ve always wanted.

 

*hugs*, that is so wonderful, I'm so happy for you!!!

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I am two months on T so much less experience, but I've noticed a few changes in all the major areas.

 

Physically the main changes have been voice drops (and soreness associated with that which I didn't expect), bottom changes (and soreness which I also didn't expect), oilier skin, and some changes in facial hair. I guess I knew the voice changes would feel weird, but this hurts some to the point I just try not to speak. The pain associated with bottom growth isn't constant. I did expect tenderness if something hit that area, but some days even wearing underwear or pants is annoying. I've actually been wanting to ask an someone that's amab if they experienced that in puberty. T has also made my endometriosis and PCOS go away (birth control actually started the endometriosis).

 

Mentally/emotionally I feel much more sure of myself. That may be just part of transitioning though. I had a high libido before transitioning so it's hard to say if that's really changed. My appetite skyrocketed at first and has kind of gone back to normal, but I'm also under a lot of stress which has probably suppressed it some. I still snack a lot. I have found it harder to concentrate on school. School work was always how I distracted myself from the discomfort I always felt, but now that I am starting to feel more comfortable with myself, I don't need to distract myself as much. That mixed with senioritis (last year of undergrad) and online school is really making this semester challenging. This is the most consistently happy I ever remember being. I think I genuinely smile more. Before I just did the fake smile southern ladies are expected to do. 

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Jackie C.
9 hours ago, SL said:

I've actually been wanting to ask an someone that's amab if they experienced that in puberty.

 

No, but my puberty v1.0 wasn't that severe. It took a long time and the changes came gradually. Probably just as well, if it had come hard and fast it would have broken me. My voice didn't even crack.

 

The appetite comes and goes. Basically it's your body saying, "OK, we're building something today. We're going to need calories for that." There's a reason teenage boys eat about as much as a baby elephant. I bet your chest and shoulders are filling out.

 

Hugs!

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