Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Apology and question about breast feeding


Berni

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone.

 

Apology for disappearing for a few weeks. I'm a school teacher and a new term just started and I was very busy. Unfortunately, I am the sort of person who, when offered a biscuit (that's "cookie" for the unfortunates living under a Trump presidency) I'm unable to stop at just one. So I knew, with lots of work to do, I needed to avoid social media for a while.

 

Breastfeeding.

 

I was thinking about my children as infants this evening. In particular, how much I wanted children (eve from a young age), how I was vaguely envious my wife's body could carry a child (not so much the birth part) and VERY envious of her ability to breastfeed

 

It's strange because I haven't thought about this in years but this evening,  I recalled a visceral need to feed my child like that ...to feel such a primal bond. I recall, after a few months, when bottles were introduced, I absolutely loved feeding my child and secretly held the bottle close to my chest imagining what it must be like.

 

I recall feeling incredibly feminine in those moments.

 

Anyway, this was many years (at least ten years) before  I realized that I was transgender, so at the time the feelings were  very confusing.

 

I'm wondering if others, who have had children, had similar envies and feelings. Did you know you were trans ast the time?  Did it eventually help you to understand your own transgender identity like it did for me?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I was wondering how you were.  I'm glad you're back and staying busy.  

 

As to breastfeeding, no never had the urge.  I'm others have though.

 

Jani

Link to comment

I don't have any kids (at least the non-furry kind), but I do want a couple of them and I can certainly relate to the fascination towards, and a certain amount of envy of, carrying a developing life inside one's own body. And definitely breastfeeding, too. I feel a tinge of envy when my sister's nursing her second one.

 

Hard for me to say exactly about cause and effect with it, but I suppose it has played a role in realizing I may be trans in the sense that it was one of several clues I had once I finally started connecting the dots.

Link to comment

I always loved watching my ex nursing our children, and was very jealous of her.

One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!  I was completely taken by surprise.  (I considered myself a straight cis guy at the time)

I have never forgotten the feeling - even though there was nothing for her of course.

Just thinking about it now…  

Link to comment

I really wish I could carry a child. I would gladly take a period too. I asked my endocrinologist if I would be able to breastfeed when my wife and I have a baby. She said that since I’m on spiro I can’t apparently it’s not good for milk and also she doesn’t think I could make enough milk. If something happens and I could I would do it in a heartbeat.

Link to comment

I actually have envy too of being able to carry children and the idea of being able to breastfeed a child that I carried. I had a fantasy with my wife that she would have one child, we would then swap body parts, and I would carry the second. I know it is just fantasy, and it is part of the reason I don't feel like we could have children (the list is longer than that) because it would trigger so much discomfort for me.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Jandi said:

One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!

 

3 hours ago, MaryMary said:

It happened once that the baby caught a bit of skin and they are sucking hard lol No wonder some woman find it painfull.

That's what I mean 

Link to comment

I had a friend who had a cat...well, they warned me not to fall asleep without a shirt. I know it's not the same as a child but I'm sure the pain in similar.

Link to comment
8 hours ago, MaryMary said:

The funny thing is to see a newborn baby try to feed and to see just how bad they are at it in the beginning. It becomes easier with the mother learning but also the baby learning ?

 

This is the first I've heard of that phenomenon, but it sounds so very sweet and special to me ???!!!

 

3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I had a friend who had a cat...well, they warned me not to fall asleep without a shirt. I know it's not the same as a child but I'm sure the pain in similar.

 

!!!

 

Yy'meouch!!!

 

Link to comment

Nice to see you @Berni.  Missed your posts.

I never thought about it from a breastfeeding point (and at the time I was not in tune with my transgender issues) but I did enjoy the bonding part of raising our children from the infancy.  The bottle feeding, changing diapers, helping them to learn new baby skills. 

But, I can only imagine how much stronger that bond must be to not only carry your child, but give birth and nourish them with your own body.  Nice topic to thing about.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
On 10/31/2020 at 6:19 AM, Berni said:

I'm wondering if others, who have had children, had similar envies and feelings. Did you know you were trans ast the time?  Did it eventually help you to understand your own transgender identity like it did for me?

Berni, I've had this same envy. I'm the oldest of 5 children, and the two youngest were borne in my late preteen years. I loved taking care of my baby sister, and later baby brother. My stuffed puppy doll, helped me mimic my mother's pregnant belly. As a parent, uncle, and grandpa I've always been know as the baby whisperer, able to comfort a crying baby. Still today it's hard for me to hear a crying baby in a checkout line or restaurant, and not go to the young parent telling them it's okay you'll get through this. Don't panic or feel anxious because the baby senses it.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment

I don’t know as I had any idea that I was trans at the time.  It took a long time to put that together.     I was raised in the 50’s & 60’s when it was pretty much unheard of.
I don’t know as I was a “baby whisperer” but I have always been the one willing to hold that screaming baby until they finally were peaceful. We had a great rocking chair. 
I’ve already mentioned being jealous of my wife nursing.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Like Jandi I grew up in the 50s and 60s. I had no clue about transgenders either.  In fact the entire LGBTQI spectrum was not talked about.  
 

I envied girls starting in about 1963.  And when I was older and in the work force pregnant women particularly.  It would have been nice to experience those things.  I’ll bet that some day they will figure out how to do a swap of reproductive organs between two compatible transgenders 

 

nothing is impossible.

 

Willow

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Willow said:

I’ll bet that some day they will figure out how to do a swap of reproductive organs between two compatible transgenders 

 

I have high hopes for the organ printer. The last time I looked, they were just using it to make skin but they were hoping to 3D print entire organs from a culture of the patient's own tissue. Exciting stuff and a HUGE boon to us transgender individuals if science can make it a reality.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Exciting stuff and a HUGE boon to us transgender individuals if science can make it a reality.

Don't tease me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I wasn’t teasing just speculating.  But I can understand a lot of us being wishful and anxious for that to happen.  
 

there are claims that certain Asian men take herbs that allow them to lactate. Personally I think it’s trying to sell snake oil to people desperately wanting to be female but can’t get cleared. But who knows.

 

hope everyone had a good day

 

Willow

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Willow said:

there are claims that certain Asian men take herbs that allow them to lactate. Personally I think it’s trying to sell snake oil to people desperately wanting to be female but can’t get cleared. But who knows.

Well… I have seen where trans women on the right hormones have been able to nurse somewhat.  But it wasn't enough to feed a baby with out supplementation somehow.  

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 203 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • SamC
    • Mmindy
    • MaeBe
    • Ivy
    • Jordyn1215225
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Timber Wolf
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...