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Apology and question about breast feeding


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Hi everyone.


Apology for disappearing for a few weeks. I'm a school teacher and a new term just started and I was very busy. Unfortunately, I am the sort of person who, when offered a biscuit (that's "cookie" for the unfortunates living under a Trump presidency) I'm unable to stop at just one. So I knew, with lots of work to do, I needed to avoid social media for a while.




I was thinking about my children as infants this evening. In particular, how much I wanted children (eve from a young age), how I was vaguely envious my wife's body could carry a child (not so much the birth part) and VERY envious of her ability to breastfeed


It's strange because I haven't thought about this in years but this evening,  I recalled a visceral need to feed my child like that ...to feel such a primal bond. I recall, after a few months, when bottles were introduced, I absolutely loved feeding my child and secretly held the bottle close to my chest imagining what it must be like.


I recall feeling incredibly feminine in those moments.


Anyway, this was many years (at least ten years) before  I realized that I was transgender, so at the time the feelings were  very confusing.


I'm wondering if others, who have had children, had similar envies and feelings. Did you know you were trans ast the time?  Did it eventually help you to understand your own transgender identity like it did for me?

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I was wondering how you were.  I'm glad you're back and staying busy.  


As to breastfeeding, no never had the urge.  I'm others have though.



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Heather Nicole

I don't have any kids (at least the non-furry kind), but I do want a couple of them and I can certainly relate to the fascination towards, and a certain amount of envy of, carrying a developing life inside one's own body. And definitely breastfeeding, too. I feel a tinge of envy when my sister's nursing her second one.


Hard for me to say exactly about cause and effect with it, but I suppose it has played a role in realizing I may be trans in the sense that it was one of several clues I had once I finally started connecting the dots.

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I always loved watching my ex nursing our children, and was very jealous of her.

One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!  I was completely taken by surprise.  (I considered myself a straight cis guy at the time)

I have never forgotten the feeling - even though there was nothing for her of course.

Just thinking about it now…  

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Emily michelle

I really wish I could carry a child. I would gladly take a period too. I asked my endocrinologist if I would be able to breastfeed when my wife and I have a baby. She said that since I’m on spiro I can’t apparently it’s not good for milk and also she doesn’t think I could make enough milk. If something happens and I could I would do it in a heartbeat.

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I actually have envy too of being able to carry children and the idea of being able to breastfeed a child that I carried. I had a fantasy with my wife that she would have one child, we would then swap body parts, and I would carry the second. I know it is just fantasy, and it is part of the reason I don't feel like we could have children (the list is longer than that) because it would trigger so much discomfort for me.

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6 hours ago, Jandi said:

One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!


3 hours ago, MaryMary said:

It happened once that the baby caught a bit of skin and they are sucking hard lol No wonder some woman find it painfull.

That's what I mean 

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I had a friend who had a cat...well, they warned me not to fall asleep without a shirt. I know it's not the same as a child but I'm sure the pain in similar.

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Heather Nicole
8 hours ago, MaryMary said:

The funny thing is to see a newborn baby try to feed and to see just how bad they are at it in the beginning. It becomes easier with the mother learning but also the baby learning 🤣


This is the first I've heard of that phenomenon, but it sounds so very sweet and special to me 💖💖💖!!!


3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I had a friend who had a cat...well, they warned me not to fall asleep without a shirt. I know it's not the same as a child but I'm sure the pain in similar.






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Nice to see you @Berni.  Missed your posts.

I never thought about it from a breastfeeding point (and at the time I was not in tune with my transgender issues) but I did enjoy the bonding part of raising our children from the infancy.  The bottle feeding, changing diapers, helping them to learn new baby skills. 

But, I can only imagine how much stronger that bond must be to not only carry your child, but give birth and nourish them with your own body.  Nice topic to thing about.

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On 10/31/2020 at 6:19 AM, Berni said:

I'm wondering if others, who have had children, had similar envies and feelings. Did you know you were trans ast the time?  Did it eventually help you to understand your own transgender identity like it did for me?

Berni, I've had this same envy. I'm the oldest of 5 children, and the two youngest were borne in my late preteen years. I loved taking care of my baby sister, and later baby brother. My stuffed puppy doll, helped me mimic my mother's pregnant belly. As a parent, uncle, and grandpa I've always been know as the baby whisperer, able to comfort a crying baby. Still today it's hard for me to hear a crying baby in a checkout line or restaurant, and not go to the young parent telling them it's okay you'll get through this. Don't panic or feel anxious because the baby senses it.





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I don’t know as I had any idea that I was trans at the time.  It took a long time to put that together.     I was raised in the 50’s & 60’s when it was pretty much unheard of.
I don’t know as I was a “baby whisperer” but I have always been the one willing to hold that screaming baby until they finally were peaceful. We had a great rocking chair. 
I’ve already mentioned being jealous of my wife nursing.  

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Like Jandi I grew up in the 50s and 60s. I had no clue about transgenders either.  In fact the entire LGBTQI spectrum was not talked about.  

I envied girls starting in about 1963.  And when I was older and in the work force pregnant women particularly.  It would have been nice to experience those things.  I’ll bet that some day they will figure out how to do a swap of reproductive organs between two compatible transgenders 


nothing is impossible.



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Jackie C.
1 hour ago, Willow said:

I’ll bet that some day they will figure out how to do a swap of reproductive organs between two compatible transgenders 


I have high hopes for the organ printer. The last time I looked, they were just using it to make skin but they were hoping to 3D print entire organs from a culture of the patient's own tissue. Exciting stuff and a HUGE boon to us transgender individuals if science can make it a reality.



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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Exciting stuff and a HUGE boon to us transgender individuals if science can make it a reality.

Don't tease me.

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Emily michelle
2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Don't tease me.

I agree!

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I wasn’t teasing just speculating.  But I can understand a lot of us being wishful and anxious for that to happen.  

there are claims that certain Asian men take herbs that allow them to lactate. Personally I think it’s trying to sell snake oil to people desperately wanting to be female but can’t get cleared. But who knows.


hope everyone had a good day



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1 hour ago, Willow said:

there are claims that certain Asian men take herbs that allow them to lactate. Personally I think it’s trying to sell snake oil to people desperately wanting to be female but can’t get cleared. But who knows.

Well… I have seen where trans women on the right hormones have been able to nurse somewhat.  But it wasn't enough to feed a baby with out supplementation somehow.  

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