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  2. KymmieL

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment. Kymmie
  3. Emily michelle

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    You are 100% correct I need to nip it in the bud. I’ve been getting tired of hiding. My sister said she would be there with me. I’m still just scared for some reason. And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.
  4. NB Adult

    Difficult Family

    Exactly, we can't choose our family but thankfully we can choose our friends and in time they will become our family.
  5. Susan R

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so suddenly. Things seem to be coming to a head though for you. It’s to be expected as you transition as you know. I put coming out for as long as I possibly could but eventually the time arrives when hiding it much longer is not realistic and more trouble than hiding it. You might ask your sister to be there for support (assuming she would) when you tell him. The neighbors are a different story. They may start to come up with their own ideas as to what is going on. Sometimes their ideas can be way off and more outlandish than reality so it’s usually better to nip it in the bud before rumors start flying. Just my opinion...take it for what it’s worth. My Best, Susan R🌷
  6. ShawnaLeigh

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    Thank you all. I wasn’t sure as my natural color is a chestnut brown and it looked so foreign to me at first. Well chestnut brown in my youth. It’s now a crappy grey. Lol I do intend to do an everyday makeup and take another picture with natural light and I will post these too. Thank again!❤️❤️❤️
  7. Yesterday
  8. Emily michelle

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    I hate nosey neighbors too. I can kind of understand her because it’s hard to keep a secret from her husband. My wife and I spend a lot of time with them. He has been asking too mostly about why I haven’t gotten a haircut. I’m pretty afraid on how he will react. What made it even better he asked her about me in front of a whole crowd of people I know.
  9. KathrynnCox

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Wow. That’s not cool. Personally I hate nosy neighbors. Mine just complain about my lawn. Right now. I’m so sorry you got cornered. You should be able to come out when you are ready, not someone else’s schedule.
  10. Emily michelle

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    My sister just cornered me and asked when I was going to tell her husband. Because he is asking questions and our neighbors are asking questions. Of course the one neighbor is a loud mouth that has no filter. Apparently he asked my sister point blank what is going on with me. So I don’t know I want to come out so bad but I’m scared to death.
  11. MaryMary

    What Does Dysphoria Feel Like?

    I remember when I was a teenager the first years when I felt more intense dysphoria. I was starting my puberty (the wrong one). It felt like a mix of panic and depression. It was like a cloud that was setting in on top of my emotions and feelings. Without really realizing it I went from being relatively happy, listening to pop music and all that to being a trainwreck and just unable to deploy any effort on any projects and listening to very very dark music, suicidal etc etc lol I also remember when my voice changed because I remember the trauma and the panic. In fact I reacted so strongly that my voice didn't actually deepened. Later, doctors said it was because of stress... Then as an adult, before my coming out it was like a general numbness and felt like I was turned off (like a computer that is turned off). I like the expression "crushing depression" that someone used, that's pretty much it. Now I relatively don't have a lot but when I feel it it's no longer general numbness and depression. It's more like a knife stab, that sudden feeling you have the first second when you learn a really bad news. Anyway, that's my way of describing
  12. Susan R

    What Does Dysphoria Feel Like?

    I can relate to this exact feeling although I never smoked, I have seen the affects on others. After purging my entire wardrobe, the powerful feeling of ‘accomplishment’ would eventually wear off. Then, during this state of suppression, the dysphoria would start to kick in, often triggered by singular events...seeing a beautiful woman, seeing a man act chivalrous to a woman, or some similar event. My mind would not relent on those images and the need to dress as myself would increase as it always had. Within a week, I found myself thinking about nothing else but dressing as myself. Eventually, to calm my mind, I would break down and go shopping. Acceptance of yourself and who you are seems to be a good way to stop this unproductive, painful and costly cycle...at least this is true in my case. Susan R🌷
  13. Suiraa

    What Does Dysphoria Feel Like?

    As previously stated, everyone experiences dysphoria differently. I've tried to study mine some to try and understand how it functions. It is like an internal mechanism that is uncomfortable and knows exactly what is causing the discomfort. This discomfort is then translated into impulses that feel very similar to craving something like nicotine (but not quite). One of the things for me is that I will feel discomfort in my body hair and I will have to shave and make myself look pretty. Otherwise I will start to become distracted and irritable. I need to study it way more and I currently consider my understanding of these mental processes to be rather limited.
  14. Tori M

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    What's all the fuss? Is that not your natural color? It's you, girl! Hottie, gonna have all the guys' heads turnin'.
  15. Susan R

    What are you listening to today?

    Didn’t disappoint...absolutely love it! Watched the video. Thanks Sally!😃
  16. Carolyn Marie

    for people thats has a life like mine

    Thanks for your inspirational and helpful post, Mary Jane. We've all had to build armor to one extent or another. All armor has weak points, and if we learn where those are and how to survive with those weaknesses, we'll become strong enough to survive, like you have. Carolyn Marie
  17. A. Dillon

    I did it.

    Oh yeah, that short on the sides, long on top style, repping the squad!!
  18. Mx.Drago

    I did it.

    Great you can felt yourself a new teddy bear with all that. 🐻 Must be so stress relieving, if not breezy.
  19. Just Lee

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    Personally, I think the style and color strongly emphasize your eyes and forehead, giving a more youthful appearance. Can we see this blonde with makeup for the full picture?
  20. Just Lee

    I did it.

    Way to go!!! You did it!
  21. Susan R

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    I think you look good as a blonde. Show us this same look with your everyday makeup on and I think almost everyone would agree that it’s a very nice look. I want to also mention...to me, it looks just slightly more natural too. Maybe that has more to do with the way it shapes your face.🙂 My Best, Susan R🌷
  22. Mx.Drago

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    It's very nice and suits you well.👍
  23. RachelQ

    Difficult Family

    I think that human beings, families, communities, etc. (probably since our beginning) are comfortable with “sameness”. Being trans or anything else that breaks that sameness (small and large) can cause fear in our family members but also, of course, with people outside our families – and sadly that can lead to hurtful things said and done by them. I wish too that people were more accepting and kind.
  24. Susan R

    I did it.

    Congrats on the haircut and incoming binder. I hope you tipped the hairdresser well😉. There’s enough hair there to make yourself a sweater. You probably dropped a few pounds too. My Best, Susan R🌷
  25. Susan R

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    I’m not one for sugary things but right now that sounds so good. Tell me it was as good as it sounds. Seriously though, I’m happy you were able to have family over on your birthday...people who care enough to do things for you and affirm you like they did! Save me some cake, Susan R🌷
  26. Susan R

    Difficult Family

    I know this would be true of me..especially now. I’d be the most supportive person they had in their life. I’ve changed in many ways, so much so, that I know that if I had to re-parent my children all over again, they’d likely turn out much better for it. But the past is past. We all learn from our mistakes (and from our parent’s mistakes too, as it turns out) Excellent revelation, NB. I think that the world would be a much better place if parents (and possibly siblings and adult children too) used this as a base foundation for their parenting and relationships. Many of us try to influence people to be more like ourselves, at least some time in our lives...it’s human nature. Rarely though, if ever, does forcing anyone to conform through indoctrination, withholding love, discipline, shaming, or restrictions change them in a long term positive manner. Most of the time it builds resentment, stubbornness and can instill bitterness in time. In some cases, it causes one to run the other direction possibly disregarding common sense or logic. My late parents used all of these methods to try to control & steer my evolution. It was an epic failure. Now, my children are attempting to do the same. I am not allowing it to control my life and understand that I do not need their approval or support. I have found those things elsewhere.😊 Thanks guys and gals! Susan R🌷
  27. ShawnaLeigh

    Shawna Leigh a Blond?!?!?

    Lol ok Jackie. I’m sorry😉
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  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment.   Kymmie
    • Emily michelle
      You are 100% correct I need to nip it in the bud. I’ve been getting tired of hiding. My sister said she would be there with me. I’m still just scared for some reason. And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.
    • NB Adult
      Exactly, we can't choose our family but thankfully we can choose our friends and in time they will become our family.
    • Susan R
      I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so suddenly. Things seem to be coming to a head though for you. It’s to be expected as you transition as you know. I put coming out for as long as I possibly could but eventually the time arrives when hiding it much longer is not realistic and more trouble than hiding it. You might ask your sister to be there for support (assuming she would) when you tell him.  The neighbors are a different story. They may start to come up with their own ideas as to what is going on. Sometimes their ideas can be way off and more outlandish than reality so it’s usually better to nip it in the bud before rumors start flying. Just my opinion...take it for what it’s worth.   My Best, Susan R🌷
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Thank you all.  I wasn’t sure as my natural color is a chestnut brown and it looked so foreign to me at first.  Well chestnut brown in my youth. It’s now a crappy grey.  Lol I do intend to do an everyday makeup and take another picture with natural light and I will post these too.   Thank again!❤️❤️❤️
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