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Dump that doctor! A doctor is a HIRED SERVICE PROFESSIONAL. No more "holy" than a mechanic, a plumber, or anybody else in the trades. Just like anybody else you hire, if they have a bad attitude or do crap quality work, get rid of them ASAP. It amazes me how in the USA we don't have clear prices related to medical services, and how people will put up with crap from a doctor that they wouldn't from anybody else. And it seems that doctors give bad service at approximately the same rate as other tradespeople. Good help is hard to find! Your body is more important than your car or your bathtub. Don't be afraid to assert yourself.

I can't do that for myself...my partners do that for me. I guess I'm damaged goods. I think part of me never totally grew up, because I'm not able to do adulting on my own. There's no "wise parent" part of me because I didn't get here on my own. I was stuck in my parents' house until GF rescued me. Before age 26, my parents made all my decisions. After age 26, I maybe decide some things, but mostly GF or my husband take care of it. I need my partners around to remember even the basic stuff, like sleeping and eating at reasonable times. Solo, I'm totally lost.

Now that I think about it, part of why I enjoy my noisy family so much is because I don't have to have much of an inner life. I don't really like being left to my own thoughts....all that mess in my brain. Maybe better to have an active outer life than an inner one?

love the red heels

Sometimes we are faced with situations where the only response possible is grief. Things will never be as we want them; people die, we lose things we cherish, we do not obtain what we earnestly desire. I see some of those situations here; there are tools available to help you through the grieving process. It's not easy.

I would be happy to just have 4 disabilities. I take 27 different medications and it does little. I tried working when I got out of the military but couldn't maintain one. I have a lot of mental disorders myself. It would be neat to learn about each other's background. I do understand just wanting to be normal. My job is a stay-at-home parent which is exactly tougher than a regular job especially being a single parent.

It is 5 posts for PM's from Members, but you can receive and respond to PM's from Moderators or Administrators before then. This one is post #3 for you.

Rich as in happy? Far from it. I'm happy about my kids but I shouldn't put all my happiness on them. I take care of myself and do the best I can. I'm happy and content that I have a house and car but nothing that can't be taken away from me like in an instant. I completely lack motivation and don't even want to do my walks anymore. I can't get a membership somewhere because I have kids that are mostly with me. I put myself out there for hoping something to come up and be good, but it's has always been like getting hit in the back of the head.

Oh I'm wearing a blessed girl t shirt and blue capris. Nothing special today. It was just doing nothing day and feel guilty about it.

Hi, I don't think I have enough posts to PM yet I don't think (I think it's 5?). I'm poor myself since I can't work, but my parents are luckily helping me get surgery covered by insurance since I am still on their insurance and they have flexible spending each year. I live far away from them, halfway across the country, but I'm glad I have their support. On the day to day... having a disability sucks. I wish I could just work like everyone else and have a normal life, but my mental disorders prevent me from doing most things. I'm glad someone else understands at least.

It has been 5 months into my transition.Going well in my progress and should of done this when I was 24 years old.Started living and dressing as female.My estrogen levels look great so far.I have a great support system as well from family members,my son and good friends.My son has said I have become a much happier person.Friends,do say that I have my life back which is true.I also have a great boyfriend for support and he has been learning very well about my transition.Plus he is the first guy that has loved and accepted me for I am.Also did his research first before we started dating.In September,I have my FFS and he will be there for support

Very pretty y'all. 4" heels is the max I can handle and not for long period of time. I don't see how women wear 5" and above. I love my feet. I sure don't want to punish them.

Well just been doing a lot of self reflection and a lot of gender dysphoria that has caused me to break down. The realization has been that I'm a trial period for men and women don't even consider me. It's getting dim. I have put myself out there by force even when I didn't want to. I have one friend but still haven't seen her IRL yet. We talk on Sundays and it's always me that starts it. Another person only talks to me when they want something. It's never been hey how are you doing. It's almost a month to my birthday and it's all just my mom, sister, nephew that are coming. So much for a 40th birthday party. I hate these posts. I want to be optimistic, positive and cheerful but I haven't seen anything go my way. I'm making it by the skin of my teeth. I wished I could just go into a coma for a year or just not wake up.

Sorry I have been absent a lot but I do read your posts though.

@Michelle_S lol it took a year to get that many. It's nice to have a large number but having the thoughts of helping someone far outweigh the number of posts. I have been absent a lot lately. Back at it tomorrow though lol.

I understand. I have the opposite problem. I'm really tall, my feet are size 13, I don't have any curves mostly but I do have breasts so at least I got that but I get stared at. I have tried dating to men I'm just a trial period and none of the women want to date me as a trans woman so I'm just stuck being single. I do have one friend and that's it. I'm right there with you about not being able to work. I haven't been able to come up with the money for any surgeries. I have a wealthy dream and disability IRL. If you want I can chat with you.

Will do @Michelle_S sending you a text soon. My apologies for not being in touch sooner

try to send me a message about it if you want.

Not sure I could handle 4" heels. I do have some 2" ankle boots though.

When I got on HRT people remarked on how happy I was. I had insisted that I was happy before, but now I realized I only thought so.

My new 4" heels I picked up today! 😘

Hi, thanks for responding. :) I definitely don't act overly macho or anything, I don't try too hard, I am just myself. I'm reserved and chill, not very expressive at all unless I'm with my partners (and even then, I don't react much to things). I prefer to listen rather than talk. I'm sensitive and thoughtful. I'm not very confident though, I avoid eye contact and have social anxiety. People seem to like me a lot though, I don't know why. I don't do anything special. But somehow I got 2 people to fall in love with me, lol. Whenever I get misgendered I don't react, I just pray for the interaction to be over and then dwell on it for the rest of my life. I still remember from a few years ago where I went to the pharmacy and the lady behind the counter called me ma'am in front of a bunch of people, I just wanted to curl up and die... any time I start to feel a little bit okay about myself I get misgendered and then hate myself into oblivion, because I will never pass. I can only continue on because it lessens the dysphoria a little. I only have people in my life who are accepting, it's just the misgendering from strangers that kills me. It takes my self confidence down to zero every time, and I always have less and less of it build back up. I don't know how to stop caring so much, because how I am seen matters a lot to me. It reinforces my view of myself. I see myself as a guy - when people don't treat me like one, it hurts and damages me. I don't have thick skin, I've always been a sensitive person. I'm just way too over it, and don't know how to get past the depression of the world not reflecting my view of myself. I mean, I don't even want to be out in public because of my appearance. The only reason I'm not a complete hermit is because my partner takes me out with her everywhere (she likes going places). I'm scared every time I have to use a public restroom, every time I have an interaction with someone. I think most of my social anxiety comes from me being trans. What's the point in living like this, like a subhuman creature that isn't deserving of standing on the same level as everyone else? (I know that last part is a 'me thing')

One of the nicest confirmations for me was when the 'new me' felt absolutely normal. I had, like almost everyone, felt very excited with each new development. But 6 years in, it's wonderful just experiencing things, like HRT, as daily rituals that are simply part of my life. I also am privileged to have experienced a feminine perspective these last six years. It confirms how unhappy I was earlier, and things like masculine privilege and mansplaining are so apparent to me now. Kind regards, Astrid

pattern top from torrid plus sky high flared jeans..wedges hugs

thanks dear. I plan to. team of docs n I listen to them. hugs