Clothing, Accessories And Shoes!

[Guest AshleeB]

Ladies and Gentlemen

Boys and Girls

And those of you who dont associate with any of the above

i have a simple question to ask. how on earth do you find the courage to go clothes shopping?

Thing is, im full time Ash at home now. but i dont have the clothes to go with the girl.

this weekend i went shopping for clothes and chickened out at the last second *got lunch instead lol*

so just wondering, what did you do to psych yourself up for your first time? Was it as hard as you thought it would be?

tips and tricks of the trade will be welcomed :D

Love Ash

[Guest Zabrak]

At the very start it was strange for me to go shopping. I was scared the most in the underwear area. But I sucked it up and did it. Whomever was around didn't know me, and didn't really care about me. They'd forget they saw me there by the next day, or a couple minutes later even.

Thats what made it fine to me.

[Guest Evan_J]

Ladies and Gentlemen

Boys and Girls

And those of you who dont associate with any of the above

i have a simple question to ask. how on earth do you find the courage to go clothes shopping?

Thing is, im full time Ash at home now. but i dont have the clothes to go with the girl.

this weekend i went shopping for clothes and chickened out at the last second *got lunch instead lol*

so just wondering, what did you do to psych yourself up for your first time? Was it as hard as you thought it would be?

tips and tricks of the trade will be welcomed :D

Love Ash

I'm opposite of Zabrak in that I always found relief getting underwear cuz its in a package and you don't have to talk to anyone.

In menswear there is a lot of interaction cuz of the measuring/ altering aspect, so that was were my fears lived. Maybe (in a sense?) thats where yours are? The prospect of having someone interact with you while you're shopping? All I can say is it was a matter of doing it, and doing it, and doing it over again. The storekeepers (usually the really old men) who really scared me I braced myself against. The storekeepers (younger) who I stood a chance of "being young and hip" with I did exactly that and tried to work in some kind of "its cool, cuz we're modern" quasi-shoppingrelationship in that interaction. After all, I wanted to be able to come to these stores again.

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm lucky in that I'm married and my wife and I both wear petite sizes. So, I can legitimately shop

in the petite section and if anyone asks, I just tell them I'm shopping for a gift for my wife.

I don't think that would work, though, if I were shopping for undies.

Carolyn Marie

[Sally]

I dealt with it the first times by making it a shopping expedition, I drove to a nearby city, larger than the one where I live and did my shopping there.

I was a tourist - no one knew me so who cared what I bought - brave, bold even brazen as I purchased everything from a gray skirt suit to a green bikini (I used to be thin ), slip, bra, panies, pantyhose in colors to match the suit or my skin and two pairs of shoes I wish I still had that pair of stacked heel sandals.

I didn't have one single male item and they didn't ask so I didn't volunteer any stories about a wife, sister, mother, aunt or part in a play.

So I suggest if you are worried go someplace completely new to shop.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well,.....

I was a BIG chicken at first....

Had the wife with me and when I chose something I'd have her carry it up to the counter for me....I know...I know...that's cheating.

Early on she called it "Being a beard" for me...picking and carrying things for me....

But, it slowly picked up steam and now I'll go by myself and hold things up to me in a mirror, carry them around, and take them to the counter and pay for them.....cosmetics, too...

If you want to have things...you have to reach a point that you just do it....It's not easy...

It was scary for me at first.....

I guess that I give less of a hoot what others think anymore...

Good luck, Honey...

Oh my, that blouse is nice...do they have my size?

Donna Jean

[Guest androgynous]

I buy online, but even as male I did that so nothing really changed, I just don't like being an ant between other people whole look for clothes. I always get angry in clothing stores.

[Guest meridian]

I am a ciswoman who hates shopping and buys lots of stuff online. I'd recommend that if you try that route you start out with just a few items of different kinds, and when you find what you like, buy more. There are generally size guides that you can use on the shopping sites. But I've also been shopping in stores with my MTF daughter. I've noticed that no one bats an eye when she goes into the fitting rooms in the women's department and it's been much more comfortable than I'd expected. So far she's been shopping in mall department stores, discount stores, and thrift shops. I was really pleased to see how easy it was.

Good luck!

Meridian

[Guest AshleeB]

Well yeah, everyone seems to get the idea of where im comming from because its obviously not just me whos dealing/dealt with it =P

Its the people. the interaction. and sadly, i cant say that people havnt treated me strangly and given me really funky looks while shopping. i went with a very good friend of mine in the middle age bracket and she was more than happy to help me pick things and buy them (blah blah) but the shoping assistant in that section (plus size... *sigh*) kept looking at me with this "what the fudge is going on over there?". maybe it was something to do with the fact that my friend is about 6 sizes less than myself... could be... hmm... lol

but i DID get an outfit. beautiful top and an even nicer skirt. but (OH THE TRAGEDY!!) they looked AWFUL on my frame. aaaahhhh poo is all i can say to that. The options for chunky butts like myself are either non-existant or something i (as a 17 year old) will flat out refuse to wear.

oh well

Lots of love

Ash

[Guest darlene lynn]

ASH Honey

I started shopping in a small town of 10,000 people. I was scared to death. But I soon realized that the sales people were there just to make the company money no matter, who is spending the money.

If I needed an excused I was shopping for an neice or mother or aunt or someone the clothes would work for. Honestly the workers in the womens dept. dont care. I found the workers look at me oddly when Im wondering without knowing what Im looking for. So if you go shopping have an idea what your looking for.

Lots of Love

Darlene Lynnette

[Guest Nikk]

I go to a large school where I'm easily recognized (I'm the school lesbian, *insert snickering here*), on a small island. Do I know about shopping. I actually have a permanent fear of being caught in the men's department, even if the clothes are better, more comfortable, more suited to my tastes, and all that jazz - so I go shopping with people. Usually my mom (since she has the wallet), even if it's a totally un-dude-like thing to do.

But if I'm shopping alone then it's hella hard to pay attention to the clothes since I'm paranoid about being found. If I'm with people, then I can focus on them in relation to the clothes.... For example, I went to Target today and I wouldn't step into the men's department until my mom went in with me. If worse came to worse, I could always pretend I was shopping for a fake twin or my dad, or something.... Didn't quite work as my mom made me try on the vest I liked in the aisle (since I didn't have to take off my shirt), but still - at some point I forgot about the people in the store and started thinking about the clothes (mostly because they're graphic tees, and I would love to do graphic design at some point in my life, but that's besides the point).

I feel like I got sidetracked somewhere in there....

~Nikk

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Ash,

I can sympathise with you as I haven't gotten the courage to shop for clothes or accessories by myself either.

I usually do one of the following:

1. Take my wife with me so people will think we are shopping for her. You need to find a store that doesn't check what clothes you have with you when you go into the change room to avoid potential embarassment. - The downside is she doesn't do this too often.

2. Buy online - The downside here is you may get the sizing wrong or the clothes look terrible on you and usually you can't return them.

At the end of the day I have noticed that not many people are that observant anyway and if you don't appear to be nervous or anxious most people will just ignore you as they are too busy doing there own thing.

If you are going to be adventurous and go shopping by yourself do it in a shopping centre a fair distance from you home to reduce the chances of bumping into people who might know you. I am more concerned about that than what a stranger might think.

Rachael

[Guest NatalieRene]

I'm lucky in that I'm married and my wife and I both wear petite sizes. So, I can legitimately shop

in the petite section and if anyone asks, I just tell them I'm shopping for a gift for my wife.

I don't think that would work, though, if I were shopping for undies.

Carolyn Marie

It might if it where the more sexy undies. They might just assume you where buying a gift for her for you and be soooooo close and yet so far from the truth. Just do the measuring ahead of time and know what sizes you need ahead of time.

Speaking of clothing and such fall isn't that far away so I've been looking at the jackets in the stores right now and I've got my eye on several. http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/o...&rfnbr=3134 and http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/o...&rfnbr=3134 Then for work I'm partial to the http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/o...&rfnbr=3134

I'm so happy to have one of these stores right down the street from me.

[Guest AllisonD]

I have a little trouble relating because when I was younger, and read all the time, I simply didn't care. I went shopping wearing what I had, for things that were similar, and they were in the girls sections of stores. I got gas from time to time when I wanted to try things on, and Sears insisted I use the men's changing rooms, but they got used to me. As was mentioned in this thread, the clerks (at least then) wanted to sell, so as long as I didn't cause trouble and actually purchased....

But if I was too afraid to shop by myself I would get an escort. I did use an escort when about town, usually a gay friend of my mine that thought it was a lark, and whom I rewarded with Lunch or some similar treat. Also, he would occasionally delight in trying on some fashion I was considering himself. My mom would NEVER go shopping with me, she couldn't handle the envisioned embarrassment and she remained in DEEP denial that I was wearing girls clothes at school. Sometimes a girlfriend would go with me, particularly if I felt I needed the protection of some company from the local non-approving high school kids. The girlfriend had the advantage that if there was reluctance to permit me in the girls' dressing rooms, being accompanied by her (or perhaps I was seen as accompanying her, IDK) seemed to diminish any concerns.

As an adult, I once observed what I must assume was a sister, too nervous to actually enter the store I was shopping at. I noticed this person (pronoun to use?), mentioned zir to the clerk, who was similarly mystified as to why ze was there. On looking back, I should have offered to escort this person in and helped zir shop - the clerk would not have minded at all. If it happens again, that is exactly what I will do.

So my advice is to just do it. Try not to be nervous, definitely do not abuse the clerks if they give you gas, just be the lady you are.

I would offer to escort an adult MTF on a shopping trip if she wants and cannot gather the courage to go by herself. No big deal, would be fun. PM me if you like.

Allison

[Guest NicolaiAE]

First time buying? MY first time buying ALONE, I felt like I was having a heart attack but I went through with it anyways. I remember buying the materials to make a packy LOL, I dropped the twenty dollar bill and the dude was staring at me. After the first time buying something it just gets easier from there.

It's really nothing to worry about unless you have some one with you that will constantly use the gender pronouns you dont want to hear. *cough my grandma *cough

-Nicolai

[Guest NatalieRene]

*clears throat* please excuse my grandma she forgot to take her meds today and is a little confused.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I agree with mosrt suggestions. Scared as hell at first. But as a 50 year crossdresser I got accustomed to buying and just not caring, as I shopped in big cities. In all that time only one old dried up woman ever gave me grief, when I was buying fingernail polish, She said' "doing your nails this weekend, honey?' I looked her in the eye and smiled, saying, "yes." She shut up and rang up the purchase.

My sentiment is as Allison wrote:

So my advice is to just do it. Try not to be nervous, definitely do not abuse the clerks if they give you gas, just be the lady you are.

I have even bought bras and breast forms. Go with the younger clerks if you can. I told them I was transitioning - they accepted that. But most times I don't say anything. Another help is I have been helping my wife buy her clothes for ten yeras. She doesn't have color coordination sense. So I know how the stores are laid out. And I use the dressing rooms. Once I would ask, now I just do it - unless they are busy. I don't wantto discomfort a customer.

Finally - where I shop a lot, the ladies know me. And I know my general sizes. I actually outed to a few, and they help by saying if the fit looks good. But I always buy things when I shop, They like that.

Lizzy

[Guest 71christy09]

The idea of going clothes shopping by myself is not too appealing, but I realize that I must do it sooner or later.

I have almost always bought my pants online ever since the invention of the internet, reason being I can not find 34x40s just lying around anywhere, in fact lately I have started wearing my old 32x40s again just so I can get a nice smooth appearance on the front and a little padding gives a bit of a shape to the hips and butt. I have purchased some undies online and the strange part is some are mediums and they are too large and some are larges and they are too small (the reason I switched to medium). I am not really sure what to make of that since i never had an issue buying mens undies and finding sizes all over the chart. I just purchased a cute little top online as well as some shorts, I am hoping I measured correctly.

My last gf complained about never being able to find the right bra, but was deathly afraid herself to go to the lingerie dept...she kind of hated going shopping anyway. We were at the local mall one day and as we were walking by Victoria's Secrets I drug her in kicking and screaming. I wandered around the store as she got measured and left with a new bra that she nearly refused to take off during the rest of our relationship. If I have a wing person I do not really have an issue going clothes shopping, although I was always the wingman. I am sure I will have a bit of stage fright and just that little bit of insecurity I have there is making me drag my feet.

I do not really have any issue about buying cosmetics and usually do so at my local drug or grocery store that I shop in weekly. The older gentleman who runs and stocks the shelves in the cosmetics aisle at the grocery store was more nervous about answering my questions then I was asking them. The first time I bought foundation (at a store I never go to) the sales girl asked why I needed it and I told her I lost one of those stupid drunk bets guys make...lol. She asked what it was and I said I wasn't telling.

I have always gone and purchased items for girlfriends, so I do not really see any difference in doing it for myself...in regards to cosmetics, razors, nair/veet, deoderant, etc.