Doubt

[Guest Emily H]

I just read a guide thing on the site, and it said parents might be believe, if you come out, that being a crossdresser, or anything else, is just because you read something on the internet, were brainwashed by television, or some other media or person you saw or talked with.

And I never ever thought this before, but is that possible in the realm of just being a crossdresser? Because now I doubt if Andrea would exist if I hadn't been originally given the idea from a TV show, and then followed up on that, and liked what I was doing. And now i feel confused and doubtful.....but at the same time it just feels right to be Andrea sometimes....are crossdressers born or do we make ourselves? I mean...I guess there's always been that feeling but I never thought to realize until a form of media came along (TV) and suggested it....

I swear I have some disorder that takes away confidence in myself and makes me doubt my own feelings. :/ All I did was read that one little thing, and suddenly the thought that 'media or other people brainwashed me' (paraphrasing of course) suddenly feels realistic instead of insulting....

~Andrea?

[Sally]

I will tell you what my therapist told me, "I've never met anyone who was talked into being transgendered."

We tend to want to stay like we are 'supposed' to be because we think that it would be easier but in fact transgendered is a way tat we are born only the degree os transitioning is different, cross dressers need only clothing to complete their temporary transition while transsexuals might need to go all the way through surgery but all are born with the condition present.

Seeing the show one TV might well have been the trigger for when you began but it isn't the cause or the reason.

I didn't see anything on TV but I saw a box of hose that my mother kept for stuffing rag dolls and one day I just had to try on a pair - just seeing them there aeveryday made me want to and I have never been able to stop since.

Don't blame TV it can't make you do anything other than want to turn it off.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest gwenthlian]

yeah basically what sally said.

It may be the case that watching a program on tv served as the trigger to awakening your feelings but thats all it is. The feelings existed previous to exposure to the topic, they were simply beneath the surface

[Guest Valentine]

I was a crossdresser long before I ever heard of it or saw it on TV. Heck I was dressing my sisters Ken doll in Barbie's dresses even earlier than that (I've always wondered what she thought of that, I was sneaking and playing with her dolls alone).

[Guest rachael1]

I suppose it's possible but highly unlikely, I agree with the other girls that TV probably was just a trigger to start kick off what was already inside you.

Rachael

[Guest Sandy]

I spent a huge part of my life thinking I was strange. I used to sneek a pair of panties from here and there. I wore my moms petticoat when I was very youg. I even put on her heels and tried to walk around (they were way to big, I was a kid). As time goes on, more and more memories pop into my head. I came to the point that I stopped thinking about it and started to live my life. Marrige, kids and so on. But I always had an urge to try on a pair of panties now and then. Finally in my 40's I dressed fully for a Holloween party and absolutly loved it. I wished the night would never end. I then went on the internet and discovered this site. Wow, did that explain a lot. I finally knew I was a crossdresser. I now buy skirts and tops and of course underclothes. I love to dress during my alone time. Very calming. Why am I telling you all this? Because in my day you never heard any of this on TV. So a lot of us when we were younger, had no idea that there were other people like us. A lot of us suppressed these feelings until we got older. The show you watched just enlightened you now. Those feelings were already there. Now you can choose to go with those feelings or bottle them up for the greater part of your life. But sooner or later they will still gush forth. I only wish I knew about crossdressing earlier. I don't know what I would have done with it. But at least I would have not felt so odd most of my life.........Enjoy your life.....Sandy

[Carolyn Marie]

I was a crossdresser long before I ever heard of it or saw it on TV. Heck I was dressing my sisters Ken doll in Barbie's dresses even earlier than that (I've always wondered what she thought of that, I was sneaking and playing with her dolls alone).

The real question here is, what did Ken think of that?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Sweetheart,

Some people will try to tell you that you are being influenced by the media, so that is why you crossdress. This is a very typical thing that people who do not understand will say to you. Many of us have been told that we are just being brainwashed by the internet and that we are not really transgendered.

Poppycock!!! I say... I have been this way long before the internet existed and long before TV ever allowed anything remotely TG on.

You are who you are and you are not being brainwashed hon!!!

Thank you sweetie for sharing your concern. I am sure others here are having the same questions.

Never let anyone dissmiss you by saying "oh, you just got that whole crossdressing thing from the internet".

You crossdress because it is as much a part of you as all of the other characteristics that make you.. you!!

HUGS hon

Brenda

[Guest Valentine]

The real question here is, what did Ken think of that?

Carolyn Marie

He never complained to me.

[Guest virginiaJ]

Honestly i cant really remember seeing or hearing of anything to make me think to wear womens clothing, I just did it. I played around for a bit when i was real young and got bored of it. When i became a teenager I found myself thinking what that girls dress would feel like on me or why cant mens underwear be as pretty as womens. Even as a teen my parents would never let me watch any suggestive T.V. shows or movies, it was always family movies like "The Buttercream Gang" and stuff like that. "Married With Children" was definitely out of the question, even though i learned more about those things in school than was ever said or shown. For me tho I know I was just born with this "special gift" to be who I am and not let society tell me who I am "suppose" to be. We are all our own person and we shouldnt be ashamed of that. We all discover this other side to us in one way or another, but if we didnt have it in us from birth we would never question ourselves or even have a second thought of doing something just because we saw it on T.V. I am who I am and nothing could have been said or done to change the course of my life.

with love,

Virginia

[Guest Evan_J]

Sure. I suppose someone could be influenced by something they learn about. But "influenced" and having a desire "originate" someplace are not the same thing. Influence means I let you feel its alright. Possibly even sound encouraging. But I'm still not the original spark about the thing. The most telling phrase you used was this one:

I guess there's always been that feeling but I never thought to realize until a form of media came along (TV) and suggested it....

The feeling existed long before the television show . All the t.v. did was tell you a means of addressing a feeling that already existed. Maybe you would have found on your own some other way. -Writing stories in which you describe yourself as a female. Playing a video game and choosing to be a female character. Photoshopping pictures of yourself as a female. You might have come up with other ways to express the same thing. All the show did was show you a method.

[Guest Penelope]

Dear Some Guy,

I first pulled on a pair of my mother’s stockings when I was nine. I also ‘borrowed’ a pair of my sister’s frilliest knickers to go with them. That was in the early 1960’s. British television was then on two black and white channels that never hinted (to my young eyes at least) at anything to do with TV, TS or CD life.

I fear it was something that came from within; something that I subsequently fought against for years.

Now I know better. Thanks principally to this web site, I am learning to accept and even enjoy it.

Hugs,

Penelope

[Guest Emily H]

Thank you all for the support. I will have to do some more searching in myself, and as Andrea, to understand this more. Which is really hard, with a busy work schedule now, I haven't been Andrea in nearly a week, and its really burning inside.

~Steven unfortunately.

[Guest NatalieRene]

The real question here is, what did Ken think of that?

Carolyn Marie

Funny fact Ken's first run was 1961–1967 and Stacey was introduced in 1968 ... so I think Ken liked it a lot and became Stacy after SRS in 1968.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi, Some Guy!

You're not alone in your self doubts in the least. I know I used to have them, especially back in the times (which still exist in many places today) that any guy doing anything the least non-guy like was labelled a 'homo' or 'Sweetie' or whatever. And then there were the many so-called easy explanations by others of where the desire to cd must have been picked up. Today, it's the internet or other easily accessible media. Years back often it was explained as some odd influence that wasn't caught in time. To me, it's a denial on the part of others to accept me for who and what I am. And I think it's also a fear reaction, like, if it could happen to you then maybe it's catching or something and it could happen to them. And the most damning situation - others who had similar or other tg feelings trying to hide them by being super macho and trying to transfer attention away from themselves. I am absolutely amazed at how many guys I knew in H.S. are now living alternative lifestyles and some of them were the most strident in their accusations of others.

Not to give my age away or anything, but only Milton Berle was available then as a reference and his drag characterizations were so over the top that nobody thought anything of them. I'm fairly certain he had no influence on me other than for me to wonder how he could get away with it.

I happen to enjoy researching my ancestors and in looking at my rather grown children and their similarities to me, I'm beginning to see some things in some of my ancestors that are sort of 'interesting'.

Actually, I think we have been brainwashed into believing that any TG type activity one engages in, although it may be not all that terrible anymore is still unique to that one person. I'm beginning to believe that genetics and DNA and all that are a lot more involved then people will like to admit.

About Ken, I did play at times (hidden of course) with my sisters' Barbie dolls but they didn't have Ken, tho I would have enjoyed having him part of my imaginations.

And I also understand your feelings about Andrea. Take heart, you're with a lot of us here who understand and are learning or accepting that it's a part of our lives.

[Guest Emily H]

Thank you all for your support. All I needed today was about this half hour when both parents were gone, I put on my favorite bra, comfiest panties and a simple dress, for about ten minutes, being me. It felt good the moment it all was put on. It was so reliving, I felt like crying when taking it all off.

~Andrea

[Guest BeardedMan]

So glad you got that half hour!

And for what it's worth, even though we hear a lot about how TV or video games can influence behavior (especially in relation to violent behavior), what the actual research generally shows is that the media can bring out or exacerbate already existing tendencies in those who watch/play/etc. As others here have mentioned from their own intuition, the media can't make you do anything. Even research from the advertising industry has acknowledged since the 1960s that what they do is largely ineffective, and little has changed in so-called "media effects" since then.

I agree that you would have grown into it eventually, if you had the feelings early on. I started painting my nails and wearing jewelry 15 years ago, and eventually that grew and evolved into real CD just a year ago. Are we born this way? Do we make ourselves? Everyone's story seems to be different, but I'd guess it's an evolving combination of the two.

So keep doing what you're doing! Don't feel bad for having doubt, but don't feel bad about being yourself.

-- Beard

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi Andrea

I agree with everone, This was part of you well before you saw that show.

I grew up in a small town and didn't know anything of transsexuals or any of the others.

I was very confused growing up, crossdressing when I could( parents very rarely left the house) and seeing women differently than other guys.

It was only when I saw a program about transsexuals that I could put the pieces of the puzzle together.

So now I'm just waiting to see a therapist to help pick through that mess I call a mind to make sure.

This is to big of a decision for me to make without help.

Hope this helps

Jean

[Guest jaymie]

Hi sweetheart, the media may help you realize who you are...but it certainly doesn't make you who you are.