Come Out?

[Guest Emily H]

There are probably several reasons I have been having this horrible, nagging thought, very strong nagging, to come out to my mom about my crossdressing.

1. From my ex: "I'll stand up to my dad (he's very emotionally abusive) the day you tell your parents about Andrea. It couldn't possibly make your life worse than mine always has been. Of course its not like I'm stooping down to such a petty ultimatum. It just really shocked me when she said that.

Thats what brought it up, and what has kept it in my mind. I ahve always toyed with the outcomes of coming out to my mom but never has it been so strong and often.

2. I need more time to be Andrea. Right now, maybe, just maybe, if my mom knew...dad's asleep, I could tell ehr not to disturb me for awhile, and she would know exactly why, I could just stay here in my room...be the happy young lady I love to be...

3. Stress. Its a LOT to keep inside me. When I told my mom about something else, although less serious that this, that I had kept inside for awhile, it felt SO good.

4. Shopping/Financial support. Maybe my mom could pay for a new top every now and then, or, even more importantly, take me somewhere for me to get a new top or new clothes or anything, she could leave me for an hour and I shop, she wouldn't' have to see or know anything about what I would buy.

5. Somebody I can talk to when I need to about this could be right here...

And I am TIRED of the extreme secret keeping...

My mom is the type of Christian who doesn't' read the Bible often, who doesn't go to church, but can say without a doubt at any given time the homosexuality is wrong, and so is everything else that is within 50 feet of that category. She might be more accepting though if I was fully needing to be MTF.

She'd say its a phase, or think I was wanting to fit in to some group... she thinks men dress up like women because they are gay and want to have sex with a man... She would never hate somebody gay or transgendered but she would like to stay on the opposite side of the street than one that was on the other side.

The bottom line is, I really want the good outcomes of telling her. I can prepare a really good, long thing to tell her, I am good at writing speeches. And I know there are extreme dangers.

Andrea is just so depressed because Steven has been working so hard and has had no time to be Andrea... Maybe i wouldn't' be thinking this if everything was normal, I had the time to be me...

I just can't wait until I'm living on my own. I can come home from work and just...be the other me...

~Andrea

[Guest Emily H]

I came out to my mom, I came out tom y mom!

its okay, its okay, for nowww.

But she is confused how you can be crossdressing and not be gay, but she believes me when I say I'm not gay.

She said she doesn't ever want to come home and see me as a woman. Thats all.

And maybe I could have time by myself in my room alone, she wouldn't' bother me

I feel sooo much better .

~Andrea

[Carolyn Marie]

Andrea, that is absolutely fantastic news. Whew, what a relief, eh?

I am very happy for you.

Now go and do some serious shopping, girl!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jean Davis]

That GREAT news

Soo happy for you

Perhaps in a little bit (when you figure she is ready) you could have a talk with her or introduce her to the playground.

We would be happy to try to answer any questions she has.

Remember 'Baby Steps"

LUV

Jean

[gennee]

Congrats on your coming out. It's an education for your folks also. Forums like this can be of great assistance.

Gennee

[Guest mia 1]

'Some Guy says

I came out to my mom, I came out tom y mom!

But she is confused how you can be crossdressing and not be gay, but she believes me when I say I'm not gay.

She said she doesn't ever want to come home and see me as a woman. Thats all.

~Andrea

Yea it is always the same. So you like women's clothes and you're not gay? O.K.I can see that ,,but I don't want to see you in women's clothes.....

My therapist tells me it's because no one wants to step into someone elses fantasy/reality when they know them the way they were!!!....before the revelation..

But me, if I had a girlfriend who liked to get dressed up like a vampire I could dig that ,,one caveat... my blood stays with me.....

[Guest AllisonD]

Yea it is always the same. So you like women's clothes and you're not gay? O.K.I can see that ,,but I don't want to see you in women's clothes.....

My therapist tells me it's because no one wants to step into someone elses fantasy/reality when they know them the way they were!!!....before the revelation..

But me, if I had a girlfriend who liked to get dressed up like a vampire I could dig that ,,one caveat... my blood stays with me.....

I think your ability to cope with a vampire girlfriend is a benefit of your comfort with the spectrum. We who are here have thought of this all our lives and so are naturally more comfortable considering other people's places on the spectrum. We are predisposed to be more open-minded, I like to think. Predisposed to truly appreciate diversity, and to accept others at face value. We have already cracked the gender binary and from there many things seem easy to accept even if we can't truly understand some particular viewpoint. My mom was like Some Guys: didn't want to know, didn't want to see. I wish my mom was more like you, or DJ, or Lizzy, or Sally, or Angie, or ... It would have saved me many beatings, and we really would've had a great time together as I explored my spot on the spectrum with your permission, guidance, and assistance. What a difference that would've made.

Allison