Pushing People Away

[Guest Justme]

First of all, I want to thank those of you that have put me on your friends page. Writing because i have this bad habit of looking for friends, and then, when I find them, I do my best to push them away. Not sure why I do that. It's like 60% of me says I need and want friends and 40% of me says. I don't need anybody. And I, do want friends in my life. Just having a hard time finding a way not to push people away once I find them. Hope this makes sense. I know for most, that they think I am playing games. I am not a game player, just have this bad way of dealing with people that i really want in my life. So I hope you can understand and be patient with me.

[Carolyn Marie]

We all go through periods like that, when you think having friends will cause complications, or they

won't be there for you, or perhaps you're afraid of the pain of losing them. You aren't alone in

those ideas, Hon. We all get them.

Love and giving of yourself is a risky business. It usually involves pain at some point, or loss.

But where would we be without it? It really is worth the risk, and the price you pay. We all need

friends, and we all need love. Getting it and keeping it is worth all the risk in the world.

Give yourself time. When you are ready to accept friendship, they'll be there waiting for you.

I hope its soon.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Justme]

Hi Carolyn. Thank you for your kind words. I have been this way all my life. And I don't want to be this way anymore. I want to be a good friend and have good friends. I don't know why I am like this. My whole life, I have lived in survival mode....and I just don't want to live that way anymore. I want to be a person that others would enjoy a friendship with. I want to be a person that can be a help to others. and it drives me crazy that i keep doing this stuff

We all go through periods like that, when you think having friends will cause complications, or they

won't be there for you, or perhaps you're afraid of the pain of losing them. You aren't alone in

those ideas, Hon. We all get them.

Love and giving of yourself is a risky business. It usually involves pain at some point, or loss.

But where would we be without it? It really is worth the risk, and the price you pay. We all need

friends, and we all need love. Getting it and keeping it is worth all the risk in the world.

Give yourself time. When you are ready to accept friendship, they'll be there waiting for you.

I hope its soon.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest AllisonD]

what Carolyn said.

There are lots of reasons that people push others away. Fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of investing so much for nothing; many others.

like Carolyn said we all go through it. the deal is to figure out why you're pushing people away, and then decide if that reason is valid for you at this point in your life. Chances are, it isn't. Particularly with the people you meet here, since everyone here has such a strong common background. No one here is going to slight you or reject you for your questions or your spot on the spectrum. they are not thinking you are playing with them. this is the friendliest community I have ever encountered, and I have encountered many in my half-century.

So try to think it through to see what it is that causes you to reject those that want to relate to you, and give them all another chance.

Allison

[Guest darlene lynn]

Hello Justme

I know exactly how you feel. Im the same way. I figure that I want friends but Im afraid they'll hurt me too if I let them to close to my heart. So when I think thier getting to close Ill start pushing them away so I wont get hurt.

Just the way I think..

Love

Darlene Lynnette

P.S. you can pm me if you need some one to listen

[Guest Pól]

I couldn't hold it against you if I wanted to because I'm quite similar myself. We'll be here. Short of flaming, I don't think there's much you could do to push us away, and I don't think you're the flaming type. Do what makes you feel comfortable. It'd be great if you didn't feel like you needed to push people away, but that's not something you can fix overnight. Work on it if you want to, and in the meantime, we'll be here.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey

I don't think you have to worry to much, we understand .

LUV

Jean

[Guest LightNebula]

I feel the same way, too, at times. =/ *hugs*

[Guest Isabella]

I kinda have the opposite ploblem, I have to always try & be very careful about what part of me I let out or try to express.

[Guest mia 1]

Yeah we all go through this exposing ourselves and then the regret of"uh oh" did I say too much to quickly, and amI losing that mystique that is so important in a relationship......But then you are drawn back here and start the process from a much better place..,like Allison said,.."no one is judged here"..well at least most of the time it is judgement free..but we are human.......be happy and be confident and thanks for putting yorself out there......Mia

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Sweetheart,

Don't worry. We all do that from time to time. I think I sub-consciously push people away just to see if they are really my friends and come back.

Well you can push me away all you want, but I will always still be there for you.

Your friend

Love

Brenda