Hi There

[Guest Heather H]

Hi all.

I've been lurking and reading here for a while, but decided to take the plunge over the weekend and actually sign up.

So, who am I? Well, I'm a 32 year old, married 'guy'. I've crossed-dressed for a while, and my wife knows about it, but lately I've been having feelings that that's not 'enough' for me any more. More and more I feel that I want to change who I am, to become Heather properly and all the time, but I'm conflicted because I still love my wife deeply, and wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt her, or ruin what we have together.

I've spoken to my doctor, and he's been supportive and sympathetic, but its out of his area of expertise, so he's referred me to a specialist, and I have an appointment in a few weeks. I'm scared, because I don't know where this is all leading, so I thought I'd come out of hiding and say 'hi', and hopefully I can find some people who've felt the same way I do.

Thanks for listening to me rambling.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi Heather

Welcome to the playground, nice to meet you.

Sorry I have no advice for you, but there are alot of people who do and they will be stopping by shortly to say hi.

Hope you find the answers your looking for.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Donna Jean]

Good morning, Heather!

Welcome to the playground, Honey!

How about some of Sally's cookies and some nice hot coco?

There!

Now.....

If you intend on taking this a step further you are going to need to tell your wife....

Unfortunatly it's going to require you telling her.....

It wouldn't be fair to start transition without letting her in on this...

Besides, she will see it after a bit and then comes the betrayal part and you REALLY don't want that!

If it was easy we all would be there now.....

Please consider a long talk with her........OK?

Good....

Huggs...

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Hello Heather,

I am glad that you have come here to join the family.

We do give advice and it is based on experience.

Donna Jean is right you need to tell her before you start to transition to avoid the betrayal aspect.

She knows that you cross dress so telling her that you are feeling a stronger need and are talking to prefessionals for their opinions and best advice is the way to go.

Good luck and keep us informed, rmember no of this is easy for us and certainly no easier for her so be gentle, understanding and give her time to come to terms with everything.

Love ya,

Sallyl

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Welcome Heather!!

Come right in and feel at home. I know you are scared hon, but know that we are here for you!! Good to hear that you doctor referred you to a gender specialist. When you are ready (maybe after a few sessions with you gender therapist), you will want to discuss with your wife what is going on with you. Your gender therapist will probably suggest the same thing. Good to hear that you wife knows and accepts your crossdressing!!

Take your time sweetheart! Don't rush things!!!

HUGS and Welcome!!!

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Heather, and welcome to Laura's. I see that Donna Jean has already provided the morning

refreshments. So relax, look around the Forums and absorb all the good feelings there are

on this site.

You've come to the perfect place to learn, find people with similar experiences, and make

friends. There are several of us, myself included, who are in very similar situations as yours.

Check out some of the older posts in the CD Forum and Therapy/Therapists Forums

if you're interested.

After 5 posts, you can send private messages (PMs) to members. I would welcome any

questions you may have. Feel free to PM me. I may not have all the answers, but

I usually know where to find them.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Heather H]

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone.

I understand that I do need to talk about this with my wife. Its tough to work up the courage though. But I do also think that, if I can do that part, one of the biggest, hardest parts of this whole thing, then I might be able to get through anything else that lies ahead too.

I'm off to have a bit of a deeper dig around now, to see what I can uncover, and I'll be back a little later.

[Guest *Elizabeth Anne*]

Heather

I missed your entry - I don't know how... but anyway WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

And you have had the very best her welcome you already - and that sweetheart Donna Jean sid it correctly - explain to your wife you are very conflicted and you need to explore how those fellings are with a gender trained therapist. I was vey unilateral with my wife, saying I had discovered who I was and was using the HRT method as a way to transition and get past my depression. I never asked her about how she felt on that! For the next six months we struggled mightedly on that.

And you must also listen to your heart. Your heart will tell you what you must do. Unfortunately, nothing else matters, and you will give up anything to follow your heart. You will have no choice.

The journey is usually very difficult. Stay with us. We can help because we understand EVERYTHING and INSTANTLY

Lizzy

[Guest mynw]

we are all happy to have you here my dear Heather H:

Hugs,,

we are all here like one family,

we can feeling all that confusing,conflicting inside you sweet,,

hope for you all the best,,

I think you are going by safe steps,,

I don't know how your wife will feeling,but I think to speak with her

after you finishing doctor consultant,will be better,,

and one things more,can you show here many sections here,,that will

make her understanding your case and give help,,

speak gently and take her wisely to understanding,,that your case is normal

and usual.

because you and her together you can fix which better for your life,,

maybe you not need to harm any one,or relations

love relation has many faces many sides,if one side going under shaking

no need to destruct all another sides,,

all love memories between you and her will stand with you,,

hope for you all the best

we all here with you and hope to give any help we can,,

love you

your sister

Bul...

[Guest jaymie]

Hi all.

I've been lurking and reading here for a while, but decided to take the plunge over the weekend and actually sign up.

So, who am I? Well, I'm a 32 year old, married 'guy'. I've crossed-dressed for a while, and my wife knows about it, but lately I've been having feelings that that's not 'enough' for me any more. More and more I feel that I want to change who I am, to become Heather properly and all the time, but I'm conflicted because I still love my wife deeply, and wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt her, or ruin what we have together.

I've spoken to my doctor, and he's been supportive and sympathetic, but its out of his area of expertise, so he's referred me to a specialist, and I have an appointment in a few weeks. I'm scared, because I don't know where this is all leading, so I thought I'd come out of hiding and say 'hi', and hopefully I can find some people who've felt the same way I do.

Thanks for listening to me rambling.

Hi Heather welcome! I can sympathize with you...I have a girlfriend who knows about my cross dressing and is supportive...but like you I often feel it isn't enough, I want to be Jaymie, I want to be a woman....but I don't want to lose or ruin what I have and I don't want to hurt my gf. It's good you are talking to someone, I have not and it is becoming hard for me, so for what it is worth, I think it is a great step on your part...and you'll also discover there are some really great and supportive people here.

hugs

Jaymie

[Guest Heather H]

Hi Heather welcome! I can sympathize with you...I have a girlfriend who knows about my cross dressing and is supportive...but like you I often feel it isn't enough, I want to be Jaymie, I want to be a woman....but I don't want to lose or ruin what I have and I don't want to hurt my gf. It's good you are talking to someone, I have not and it is becoming hard for me, so for what it is worth, I think it is a great step on your part...and you'll also discover there are some really great and supportive people here.

hugs

Jaymie

Thanks for that, Jaymie. One of the best things about having found this place is it helps a lot to know that I'm 'not alone'. I hope you too make whatever is the best decision for you.

[Guest EricaG]

Hi Heather

I am so glad that you have joined, I just joined recently and still am a bit shy but I becoming more and more comfortable with my new surroundings and friends. This is a wonderful place and there is much sage advice on this site. I have just come out to my wife just recently and probably would have kept my CDing (If thats a word) bottled up if it had not been for LP. I wish you the best and I am sure we will talk again soon.

Love & Kisses

Erica