Genital Dysphoria

[Guest Soph]

My junk down south didn't used to bother me at all. Even after coming out as trans, for a while I was ok with it.

But in the past few months, it certainly has bothered me--perhaps more than anything else about myself. It is the only thing that I can think of and consistently get a response of near tears (which is the most I can manage).

But when I try to explain what I feel about them, I can't really express it. I'm not good with emotions, and worse at labeling them. I don't know what it is exactly I feel, but it isn't one of the common emotions like fear, sadness, etc. Its something more abstract than that.

The thing that comes closest to it is a sense of "wrongness" or incongruency. I don't know if this is exactly it, but its closer than everything else. And it really is abstract; its something I've never really felt before (which is probably why I can't find a proper label for it).

Its such that I can't even really say "my genitals". I just sort of gesture down there and hope they gather what I mean... and its no attempt to be melodramatic or anything. Its just that I can't say it.

So, I know this is a terribly personal question (a thousand apologies if I cross the line here ), but how do you feel about your... stuff...

Is it the same strange abstract feeling I was trying to label, or something more common?

I understand if its difficult to talk about--its the toughest thing for me to talk about concerning my transness... I guess I was an idiot to make this topic. Just want to see if I'm ok or really crazy >_<

Also: I know that there are non-op transsexuals. Do they not feel any genital discomfort at all?

[Guest Isabella]

It's put any kind of intimate relationship out of the question for me. I have a healthy sex drive & I am also bi, but I just am increasingly unhappy & not into my stuff at all. I've gone so far as to get on the right combinations of meds to relieve the need to release. I can still fantisize, but without having to end up "doing that" as sad as that may sound, it's liberating as long as I'm stuck with the stuff. I truely wish no one else had to go through this as it often leads to so much tragity.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

My junk down south didn't used to bother me at all. Even after coming out as trans, for a while I was ok with it.

But in the past few months, it certainly has bothered me--perhaps more than anything else about myself. It is the only thing that I can think of and consistently get a response of near tears (which is the most I can manage).

But when I try to explain what I feel about them, I can't really express it. I'm not good with emotions, and worse at labeling them. I don't know what it is exactly I feel, but it isn't one of the common emotions like fear, sadness, etc. Its something more abstract than that.

The thing that comes closest to it is a sense of "wrongness" or incongruency. I don't know if this is exactly it, but its closer than everything else. And it really is abstract; its something I've never really felt before (which is probably why I can't find a proper label for it).

Its such that I can't even really say "my genitals". I just sort of gesture down there and hope they gather what I mean... and its no attempt to be melodramatic or anything. Its just that I can't say it.

So, I know this is a terribly personal question (a thousand apologies if I cross the line here ), but how do you feel about your... stuff...

Is it the same strange abstract feeling I was trying to label, or something more common?

I understand if its difficult to talk about--its the toughest thing for me to talk about concerning my transness... I guess I was an idiot to make this topic. Just want to see if I'm ok or really crazy >_<

Also: I know that there are non-op transsexuals. Do they not feel any genital discomfort at all?

Despite how I might feel about my factory equipment(not happy with it at all) I have to face the reality that GRS may never be in the cards for me due to finances. That means I have to change the things I can and tollerate the rest; I do feel the disphoria but have to come to terms with it.

[Guest AshleyRF]

I hate that thing down there. It is the only reminder I have left of that person I use to pretend to be. I will be SO glad when it is gone.

[Guest Leah1026]

People born transsexual experience two kinds of dysphoria. Social (external) dysphoria and body (internal) dysphoria.

You sound normal to me. I went through something very similar.

Can't comment on non-op folks.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

I'm mostly indifferent about mine and my masculinity in general. For me, my gender probelms don't come out of a sense of "wrongness" being male (which could be because of emotional detachment from myself I've had for a while), but an extreme envy of the women around me. I don't know; maybe if I started presenting myself as female I'd be bothered about my masculinity, but as a male, it doesn't bother me one bit.

Conversely, the few times I've experimented with being female (alone, in my room), I've felt very uncomfortable and wrong. I don't focus it on anything, but just feel like it's a bad mixture. Maybe I feel wrong because I'm trying to be female but still look male (so it is me bothered by my masculinity). I don't know.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Don't care for it at all.

And no you didn't cross the line( at least not for me ) but it is difficult to discuss

Jean

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Mine to me is just a useless piece of meat that I can't wait to have excised, I can still get a rush out of it which is good for me when the SRS is done I hope.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

Prior to having surgery[for four years living fulltime 24/7] I suffered from the condition known as ‘Genital Ignoria’ [many non op transsexual people are predisposed to this condition ] the only time my genitals came to mind was when I was having a shower, other than that I just ‘ignored’ what was in between my legs-they didn’t cause any major unhappiness/discomfort…

Remember...Gender is between ones ears-Sex is between ones legs…

Metta Jendar

[Guest mia 1]

Being androgynous my genitalia is important to me and when in female mode I think of the male part of me as the feminine part that is so important to women's satisfaction..

That is what it isl ike being androgynous..A mixture of both genders, and a happy confusion along the way.....

[Guest ricka]

Hun--what really matters ultimately is not what you appear between your legs but what you "feel" between your legs. Yes, i appear to be male but what I feel is definitely female!!! And the strange thing is that the more I allow myself to feel the more I see the physical transformation follow as if by magic!

ricka

[Guest Cait]

i'm amused sometimes i have the stuff.

It makes me wonder why.

I used to wonder if it was possible to trade with a girl.

My "drive to be with others, in an intimate fashion" has just gotten worse, for some reason.

I have plotted various bizarre ways of getting the stuff off me over the years

and that's why I get HRT, because people felt sorry for me!

I can't complain.

Does seem very strange that a person doesn't like their body.

I just never really functioned in the "male role"

and was no good at sports and dating and fighting

this is a good situation to me---just overly expensive

and IMHO

kind of moot in a world that doesn't seem very interested in saving itself

i don't see why it offends people to transition---i certainly was not going to get married or have kids...why do they care?

most of us are happier, i think.

I have slapped at my tool box and gotten angry that it can't be removed, but

i would be critically injured doing anything

so, i do mostly exsist in a place where IT doesn't seem to exsist

this is interesting for me to see people in a different light---mentally

As previously mentioned

i view all my changes as "upgrades' to look how i wish to look.

I felt i had good hips and all, and it isn't so hard for me to be of a passive nature.

My body just always looked half in the real world, and half out?

At least we live in a time where the potential is there to change genders.

Caitlin

[Guest Jean Davis]

Kia Ora,

Prior to having surgery[for four years living fulltime 24/7] I suffered from the condition known as ‘Genital Ignoria’ [many non op transsexual people are predisposed to this condition ] the only time my genitals came to mind was when I was having a shower, other than that I just ‘ignored’ what was in between my legs-they didn’t cause any major unhappiness/discomfort…

Remember...Gender is between ones ears-Sex is between ones legs…

Metta Jendar

Must be nice. Unfortunataly one of "the boys" give me pain on a pretty regular basis .

So it makes it hard to ignore.

Jean

[Guest brenda lee]

My junk down south didn't used to bother me at all. Even after coming out as trans, for a while I was ok with it.

But in the past few months, it certainly has bothered me--perhaps more than anything else about myself. It is the only thing that I can think of and consistently get a response of near tears (which is the most I can manage).

But when I try to explain what I feel about them, I can't really express it. I'm not good with emotions, and worse at labeling them. I don't know what it is exactly I feel, but it isn't one of the common emotions like fear, sadness, etc. Its something more abstract than that.

The thing that comes closest to it is a sense of "wrongness" or incongruency. I don't know if this is exactly it, but its closer than everything else. And it really is abstract; its something I've never really felt before (which is probably why I can't find a proper label for it).

Its such that I can't even really say "my genitals". I just sort of gesture down there and hope they gather what I mean... and its no attempt to be melodramatic or anything. Its just that I can't say it.

So, I know this is a terribly personal question (a thousand apologies if I cross the line here ), but how do you feel about your... stuff...

Is it the same strange abstract feeling I was trying to label, or something more common?

I understand if its difficult to talk about--its the toughest thing for me to talk about concerning my transness... I guess I was an idiot to make this topic. Just want to see if I'm ok or really crazy >_<

Also: I know that there are non-op transsexuals. Do they not feel any genital discomfort at all?

SOPH , I wish that IT was gone many times and be gone for good.LOL BrendaLee

[Guest amie]

What does it mean to me? 24/7, nonstop physical discomfort and a great deal of mental anguish.

[Guest Cait]

After awhile I think these feelings become less intense.

I"m planning on an Orchidectomy,

( if this Crapulous Economy ever let's me save any money!)

The longer you live in Transition, the LESS this should bother you.

I guess I used to get pretty worked up over it!

Maybe one of us should start a "scam" wherein we can donate?

Call a medical center and Create a demand for Testicles?

i might start this...

Perhaps they can be sent somewhere to do the most good

Caitlin (laughing)

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Also: I know that there are non-op transsexuals. Do they not feel any genital discomfort at all?

I can only speak for myself, I do feel the dysphoria probably as intesely as you do however I know that any form of surgery is likely to NOT be in the cards for purely financial reasons so I have to find ways to come to terms with the dysphoria. My process, so far, is to not really do much with it save for peeing. Mind you now the AAs are taking over it wont do much anyway.

[Guest angie]

Since I have no idea when my future surgery will be,

I learned to live with that nasty incongruity between my legs.

Many will see that as HRT shrinks the(boys)down to about nothing,

and you no are longer getting that horrid morning wakeup call from

down south,and the rest of the body is responding so well and taking

on the proper proportions,that you may not like it being there,but you

can deal with it as a part of who you are.Many more of us will go without

surgery than will be able to have it.So dealing with it is how you learn a

mental defense about having such an anomolly between your legs.Heck,

I live as woman,have for two years.That thing one day will be gone with

luck,until then I deal with it.It is far better being a woman with a penis,

than being who I used to be,an angry man who hated being one.

Angie

[Guest NatalieRene]

I just want that growth between my legs gone. Money won't be a issue for me, I'll keep my old 2002 Civic for another 5 years and skip one new car and put the money in the bank for srs and ffs.

For those that can't afford it have you considered taking out a generic loan or cash advance on your credit card? As long as you can afford the monthly payments you can treat the surgery like a car and make payments over time.

[Guest angie]

Let me tell you ladies,

It has taken every bit of these last eight months to come to

terms with the fact of my surgery suddenly being yanked out

of this years plans I had so carefully laid.It crushed me for months.

I can still cry thinking about how so very close I came to my final

step.But...Life goes on.

It took my best friend having her surgery,and me being able to be

a part of her new life as a newly complete woman, that made,or gave

me the healing I was so in need of.I can't stand (That Thing)between

my legs.I have come to terms with it,still hate it,dispise it,it doesn't belong

on me,I don't want to be a woman with a penis,but...Facts are,I can't do a

thing about it for now.So I am living my life,celebrating Sue's accomplishments,

watching her become so calm and flowing so smoothly into her new life.

Listening to her complain about how high maintenance her new genitals are...

I always smile and tell her,"I can't wait for it to be me."(Smile)

For my day will come.I believe it in my heart.

Namaste,

Angelique Michelle

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

What does it mean to me? 24/7, nonstop physical discomfort and a great deal of mental anguish.

Yea, mine hurts a lot too. If I roll onto it at night, or when I'm bicycling or just walking... sometimes just sitting around.

Physical discomfort and mental anguish seems about right.

So I save save save....

[Guest ricka]

Hun---I spent most of my life hating my breasts. I began to develop female breasts at puberty and over time they continued to develop. I am now wearing a c cup bra. But what I once hated I grew to love about my body. It helped me to find out that many men adored my breasts and in fact they loved the whole package---female breasts and male genitalia. You have to think outside the box so to speak.

ricka

[Guest Kayliegh]

I've always felt that if I didn't have a penis tomorrow, I would be OK with that. That being said, over the last few years, I've really wanted nothing more than to have it gone permanently!

I'm just starting my transition and know that within a two years I’ll be who I was meant to be!

Kayleigh

[Guest ricka]

Seems like all of us have our own ways of dealing with this feeling of anomoly. Mim, I so admire and identify with your response. It really does get down to dealing with what is between our ears and less about what is between our legs. Despite what visually may appear, I _feel_ very much a woman between my legs. And huns, regardless of -our equipment, it is possible to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone. Once being a time when I experienced much angst about being "underendowed" as a male and that did impair my ability to be sexual with someone, now I find myself feeling confident as a somewhat "overly endowed" female and responding as a female.

ricka

[Guest ricka]

This subject really got me thinking about how I feel about my equipment. I think what I am trying to say is that although what I have between my legs is male, what I experience with a partner is totally female. I know it may be hard to wrap your head around this. This make sense to anyone?

ricka