I Failed!!!!

[Guest Sergei]

Ok, I started using the STP device in September. At first I only used it at home, and then after the first month I felt confident enough to use it in public, in a cubical though. The last month I finally found enough confidence and started using it at the urinal. But the other night I went out. I went to the bathroom, I need to go, so I went and stood at the urinal, and prepared myself to go, but I just couldn't relax enough!!!! There was one other guy in there. So I waited for him to leave, and then went into the cubical instead. Arrgghh!!!!! So frustrating!!!! I was really angry with myself. Straight away (well after I had finished) I phoned one of my cisgender male friends who has always had trouble using a urinal as well, because he can't relax enough to go infront of other guys, and he told me not to be stupid or feel bad, it happens sometimes. But this bothered me. Ever since I have gone back to using the cubical again, which to me feels like a massive step back!!!!

[Guest matthew41]

Sergei,

Try not to beat yourself up about it. It happens. With all the milestones you have listed here, I congratulate you for ever being able to use a urinal. I have yet to myself, always using a cubical instead and I feel perfectly ok doing it this way. Try to put it out of your mind and maybe next trip to the bathroom you will use the urinal without a second thought. Good luck.

Matt

[Flint]

I think alot of bio-males get nervessometimes...I'l probably never have this problem unless i can suddenly walk. but yea dont beat yourself up. i'm pretty sure most Bioligical men can get the same problem/

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Sergei-boy,

Remember "Rome wasn't built in a day!" Things happen in time....I guess for pre-pre-op trans women/girls...like a yo-yo-options are plentiful...unlike for trans male we had the choice of throne or looking at the tiles on the wall but after surgery we take our proper royal place-choice is lost for ever...Sergei "It won't happen over night but..it will happen!" and as Matt says "Try to put it out of your mind and it will just happen naturally."

Metta Jendar

[Guest Huff]

Hey Sergei,

don't beat yourself up about it... I'm still too chicken to even try packing. (I work out at the gym most days and still use the female locker room since I can't figure out how to hide the breasts and trying to put a packing device on in the middle of a girls' locker room seems crazy)

MK

[Guest Sakura_Stingray]

you know....this is pretty funny being born a male and all....i could never use the urinal...i would try but evn when i was alone i wasnt able to...so dont worry im sure many people, even full physical males cant use the urinal.....this is a new scientific term i like to call urinalphobia o.O whos with me!!!

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

Not a failure, just a setback. Try again when you feel more confident. You did it before, Sergei, and you can do it again no sweat!

[Guest Sergei]

Hey, I did it again. Thank God!!!! Thanks for the reassuring comments.

I just find that sometimes if you fail at something once then you get a mental block and can never do it again unless you overcome it instantly. I find the same thing in music. When I played Beethoven's first piano sonata there was one passage that I messed up so badly on during a performance. I stopped and skipped it, and then carried on. I never made the mistake in practise, but everytime I performed this sonata after that I would always lose it during that passage and have to skip it even though I knew I could play it. It became a mental thing.

But anyway I overcame the urinal thing. Thanks everyone.

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

Yeah, I do that myself. I hate failure. I basically have a phobia of it.

[Guest Cal]

Oh yeah, don't worry about it. A lot of the time I'm too nervous to go in the bathroom when there's anyone in there at all. I have to bring a friend with me, and have him scout to see if there's someone in there. (my friends don't get it and think I'm ridiculous, but being nice guys they usually check for me) Or if I'm alone I just go in and if anyone else is in there at all I pretend I just went in to wash my hands. I really can't pee if there's any stranger in the bathroom.

Don't beat yourself up bro, you'll get it eventually

[Guest Cal]

*Edit, didn't see the post right above this.

Grats!

Keep up the good work