A Few Questions About Starting Off...

[Guest kyattei]

Hello, I have a few questions tonight about... erm... mostly where to start. ^^;; I've read a lot on the actual procedures of transitioning, therapy, hair removal and the surgeries and such, I'm just not so clear on getting them off the ground and how much they cost.. So could anyone who's been through them answer these questions or offer me any advice?

1) I have just moved into my own apartment and finished furnishing it and stocking food/etc. I now have $16,500 (canadian) saved up and I'm guessing I'll have about $100-200 left over on an average month for spending on transsexuality related endeavours. (Actually more like $300-500 extra, but I'm trying to reserve that other bit for any unforseen expenses and emergencies.) Is that a possible and safe amount to start transition on?

2) There's a laser hair removal place about an hour's walk down the road from where I live, and a couple electrolysists within busing distance. I've read that electrolysis has better results normally, but laser is good for darker haired people... My hair is black, stiff, and regrows fast (if I shave at 6am, I'll have a 5'o'clock shadow by noon... .__.), so would laser be worth a shot? Or on my limited budget, would it be best to go with the more proven electrolysis or put if off altogether for a bit?

3) I cannot find any local therapists that deal with transsexuality. The nearest I've found is from lists on Laura's Playground and TS Roadmap, and they're a few hours away by drive... but I don't drive and am afraid of traveling very far so it'd be very difficult to get there consistently... I've read a bit about online therapists, so I'm considering going that route for the first little bit, at least until I've got my actual transition off the ground. Do online gender therapists work for getting HRT? And how does that whole process go? After a few sessions and diagnosis, do they give (or in online's case, mail?) you a letter you take to a doctor/physician, and they give you a perscription after a checkup on you?

4) And what general order should I go about doing things? Should I buy women's clothes and such before therapy? Will a therapist hold it against me if I haven't crossdressed yet? Or should I try to get therapy and HRT as soon as possible? Do I do that before or during facial hair removal? It's all a little overwhelming, and I'm not sure where to start first...

Sorry for all the questions and I hope I didn't come off as too ignorant or anything... And thank you for your time! ^^

[Guest AshleyRF]

I would find a therapist first and talk to them. I wouldn't jump into anything else right away till you have talked to a therapist. I had trouble finding a therapist near me as well and ended up having to drive 3 and 1/2 hours away to see mine. Most will help you out and some may even do over the phone sessions with you. You jsut have to call them and see.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

1. yes.

2. I've read that laser is great for dark haired people and whatever the laser will not zap, electrolysis will. So I vote for going for laser and whatever hairs are left after several treatments could be easily handled by electrolysis.

4. the therapist is always the most important step. He/She can talk with you and help you come up with your own plan of action for your transition and what the next logical step would be as well as what your future steps should be.

[Guest angie]

4) And what general order should I go about doing things? Should I buy women's clothes and such before therapy? Will a therapist hold it against me if I haven't crossdressed yet? Or should I try to get therapy and HRT as soon as possible? Do I do that before or during facial hair removal? It's all a little overwhelming, and I'm not sure where to start first...

Starting your journey with facial hair removal is a good start for anyone.

Buying a limited wardrobe and practicing being dressed for hours at home until you are comfortable,

is a great way to get used to being female.Doing so while keeping a journal,will allow you to go

back and see just how far you really have come,and let your future therapist(s) know the seriousness of you claim to being a woman.I know that's how I did it,and could not go to my therapy

appoinments as the real me but one time in two years.They know when they talk to you.

Hugs and Major Good Wishes,

Angie

[Sally]

Do not worry about sounding stupid when asking questions - it is the only way to find answers.

The only stupid question is the one unasked.

OK, money is not going to be a huge factor for you until you get to the actual surgery portion so you are in very good shape there.

If your hair is dark and your skin is light the laser is very effective - it does large areas at a time so the cost may look higher but really isn't.

Hair grows in cycles and in general you get a third of an area at the right cycle each time - so each area will get at least three treatments about two weeks apart.

Any hairs that are too suborn for laser can be taken with electrolysis rather quickly.

Check with an on line or telephone therapist and get started, if they can offer the HRT letter, they will want to fax it to your endocrinologist so that they can be sure that you are going to be under a doctor's supervision.

Therapist first, then a small wardrobe for at home - wear it while you have your sessions - to get your mind in a comfortable place, then hair removal and everything else will fall into place as you feel you are ready.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest kyattei]

Alright, thank you very much for the advice everyone! I will try to get a therapist first, then once that's taken care of, try out the laser removal clinic nearby.

Today I sent out email to some therapists in my city asking if any of them would take a transsexual client (even though none of them had gender therapy listed in their descriptions) and follow the SOC... hopefully at least one of them will; or be able to recommend one close by. If not, I think I'll have to go with an online/phone therapist then.

(...) if they can offer the HRT letter, they will want to fax it to your endocrinologist so (...)

An... endocrinologist? I don't have one of those... or even knew what one was before looking up the word. How soon should I look into getting one? Will just before getting the letter be alright? Or will they want one that I have a longer medical history with? If I manage to find a local psych/therapist, will they recommend me a specific endocrinologist?

[Guest AllisonD]

Alright, thank you very much for the advice everyone! I will try to get a therapist first, then once that's taken care of, try out the laser removal clinic nearby.

Today I sent out email to some therapists in my city asking if any of them would take a transsexual client (even though none of them had gender therapy listed in their descriptions) and follow the SOC... hopefully at least one of them will; or be able to recommend one close by. If not, I think I'll have to go with an online/phone therapist then.

An... endocrinologist? I don't have one of those... or even knew what one was before looking up the word. How soon should I look into getting one? Will just before getting the letter be alright? Or will they want one that I have a longer medical history with? If I manage to find a local psych/therapist, will they recommend me a specific endocrinologist?

Don't fuss about getting an endocrinologist just now. You'll have plenty of time for that. Follow what Sally and Angie told you to do. When you choose a starter wardrobe, be sure to choose at least one outfit that makes sense for you in your environment, for the public spaces that you will be visiting. Look for a least one pair of quality, comfortable shoes. You will be miserable in cheap shoes that don't fit.

Deal with the laser stuff first, and growing out your hair, and learning to make yourself presentable for your eventual appearances in public. Study the other women in your area that are your age. You will need to learn to blend in with them. They will illustrate suitable wardrobe selections. When you find a gender therapist she will help guide you on your path for some time before you need to worry about finding an endocrinologist. In the meantime, dealing with your beard, learning to dress appropriately, and how to style your hair should be your focus. Some people feel they need to deal with voice as well, and if you are one of them then start now.

Allison

[Guest angie]

An... endocrinologist? I don't have one of those... or even knew what one was before looking up the word.

It doen't Have to be an Endoconologist.

As long as you get seen and cared for by a gender transition knowlegable physician.

They will prescribe your HRT,what milligrams to be taken daily,and take care of the

necessary bloodwork.Searching out a gender friendly doctor could take time.So try

not to place all your hopes in one basket,by limiting the choices of physicians qualified

to treat your gender disorder.Ask around,depending on where you live,there is most

always a sympathetic physician willing to take us under their wing.

Hugs,

Angie