I Might Have Seen Her....

[Guest Emily H]

I just don't know... today me, my dad, and his two uncles were working on removing a couple of dead trees from the backyard.

While we were back there, the new neighbors, that have been here for about a month, were out working with wood in their yard too. The guy came over and was talking to my dad for awhile, and even later when we were done, talking really with all of us.

His wife...

His wife...

Looked like the exact person I want to be...

She was mostly lean, quite pretty (and from where we were standing, sexy ;P). But she wasn't helpless or soft. She was sorting the wood, moving it all, getting things done. just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, nothing fancy or nothing rugged.

It just..made me think....I could be her... I could live my life in nearly the exact same way i am now if I was a girl instead... I probably would have different interests, at least slightly, might spend my time differently but...

I just don't know what happened or what went through my mind when seeing her... I just thought, if I could change my life and become just like her, I would jump on that offer instantly.

Except for the part about being with a man. No thank you...

~Andrea

[Guest AllisonD]

Hi Andrea,

It is fun identifying a dream, isn't it?

That can be so inspiring. When you see the woman that you would like to be, knowing that you can come close, even very close... I guess that would be true for anyone tho, not just us. Anyone that has admired an actress or other public figure and thought, if only ... Of such thoughts are dreams made.

The trick is to realize as many of your dreams as you can without discovering despair when some of the dreams are just not possible. This sounds like one of those achieveable dreams to me. But just pursuing the dream even if you never actually get there can be worth a lifetime's effort. The woman you saw and admired, no reason you cannot aspire and likely even achieve all the elements of her life that you want to; leaving out the husband might even be the easiest part.

So, what is your first step to realizing your dream?

Allison

[Guest brenda lee]

I just don't know... today me, my dad, and his two uncles were working on removing a couple of dead trees from the backyard.

While we were back there, the new neighbors, that have been here for about a month, were out working with wood in their yard too. The guy came over and was talking to my dad for awhile, and even later when we were done, talking really with all of us.

His wife...

His wife...

Looked like the exact person I want to be...

She was mostly lean, quite pretty (and from where we were standing, sexy ;P). But she wasn't helpless or soft. She was sorting the wood, moving it all, getting things done. just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, nothing fancy or nothing rugged.

It just..made me think....I could be her... I could live my life in nearly the exact same way i am now if I was a girl instead... I probably would have different interests, at least slightly, might spend my time differently but...

I just don't know what happened or what went through my mind when seeing her... I just thought, if I could change my life and become just like her, I would jump on that offer instantly.

Except for the part about being with a man. No thank you...

~Andrea

Andrea , When I was growing up I always wanted to be as beatiful as my best friends mom. To me she was just the total person I wished I was . LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest Kayliegh]

Andrea - I too have aspired to be someone else.

I don't know if I'll ever be exactly like her , but here she is!

Kayleigh

[Carolyn Marie]

Very attractive, Kayliegh. Who is she? I don't recognize her.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest nymphblossom]

Excellent! My therapist actually gave this to me as homework at my first session; to start a scrapbook of tall, thin, middle-aged ladies so I could begin to identify the kind of woman I could and would want to be. Hairstyles, how to dress, anything that would help me develop my female self. I think so many of us want to skip over this step, but it is a fun process, albeit a bit awkward, like being a teenage girl, taking the time to define yourself as the woman you want to be.

Blossom

[Guest Kayliegh]

Very attractive, Kayliegh. Who is she? I don't recognize her.

Carolyn Marie

HI Carolyn -

Her name is Erin Burnett, a MSNBC correspondent.

Kayleigh

[Guest Emily H]

Personally, my first step should be to find a therapist or somebody to talk to about this. I really don't think I will ever really transition... there is no way I could go through everything like that and...have this large, permanent change.... I think what I REALLY need is to be able to dress when I want, see if it feels right to..never come un-dressed. Or if eventually, there is nothing more in being feminine, and go back to my male role.

~Andrea

[Guest mia 1]

HI Carolyn -

Her name is Erin Burnett, a MSNBC correspondent.

Kayleigh

Yeah she is on CNBC in the early a.m. and then again at noon. that is MDT. Smart, articulate, and sure of herself..

Good pick Kay girl.....Mia

[Guest Kayliegh]

Yeah she is on CNBC in the early a.m. and then again at noon. that is MDT. Smart, articulate, and sure of herself..

Good pick Kay girl.....Mia

Thanks Mia!

Kayleigh

[Guest AllisonD]

Personally, my first step should be to find a therapist or somebody to talk to about this. I really don't think I will ever really transition... there is no way I could go through everything like that and...have this large, permanent change.... I think what I REALLY need is to be able to dress when I want, see if it feels right to..never come un-dressed. Or if eventually, there is nothing more in being feminine, and go back to my male role.

~Andrea

I did that for a long time. I call that transition, living my life as female, your "never come un-dressed." I was perfectly happy, I got what I needed out of it which was relating to my environment as a girl/woman. It worked for me, I never had any interest at all at being male. It was years before I found out about SRS and had that done, and then it was only 'cause I needed a passport so I kind of got pushed into it. Never regretted it, should have done it much sooner, but I did live as I think you are describing for years and it worked just fine for me.

But even without SRS there are still the "large, permanent change" bits. 'Cause naturally I changed my name legally, and all my university records and employment history and credit history and.... are all as female. So going back to male (now there's a stretch, like I ever was!) would take some effort even if I ever wanted to.

Allison

[Guest jaymie]

"I just don't know what happened or what went through my mind when seeing her... I just thought, if I could change my life and become just like her, I would jump on that offer instantly."

I think that quite often...usually no one in particular, i'll just see some woman (sometimes my girlfriend sometimes a random woman) and it'll strike me that I really wish, with all my being that I could be her, or more accurately, like her. It is estimated 51% of the world's population are female...slightly better than 50/50 odds that a person will be born a g.g.,I will see a woman and realize that somehow I ended up with the wrong body (I envy the 51%) and I hope that one day I will find the courage to transition into what I feel I am inside...but I don't know if I have that kind of courage, i'm even too scared to talk to a gender therapist. But I still like the fact that at least I get to see images, glimpses of what I wish I was, it makes it easier to imagine my life as I wish/think it should be.....

[Guest AllisonD]

"I just don't know what happened or what went through my mind when seeing her... I just thought, if I could change my life and become just like her, I would jump on that offer instantly."

I think that quite often...usually no one in particular, i'll just see some woman (sometimes my girlfriend sometimes a random woman) and it'll strike me that I really wish, with all my being that I could be her, or more accurately, like her. It is estimated 51% of the world's population are female...slightly better than 50/50 odds that a person will be born a g.g.,I will see a woman and realize that somehow I ended up with the wrong body (I envy the 51%) and I hope that one day I will find the courage to transition into what I feel I am inside...but I don't know if I have that kind of courage, i'm even too scared to talk to a gender therapist. But I still like the fact that at least I get to see images, glimpses of what I wish I was, it makes it easier to imagine my life as I wish/think it should be.....

Exactly.

Just what you said.

How come we came up short, with the wrong body, when over half the people on the planet get the body that we want?

"I think that quite often...usually no one in particular, i'll just see some woman (sometimes my girlfriend sometimes a random woman) and it'll strike me that I really wish, with all my being that I could be her, or more accurately, like her. " With the exception of the girlfriend part (I don't want to be a butch like my love interests are) I have had this same thought ten thousand times. Yesterday I had this exact thought as I was looking for a new winter coat and all the cute coats were a size 6. "Right," I thought, "dream on."

Allison

[Carolyn Marie]

Yesterday I had this exact thought as I was looking for a new winter coat and all the cute coats were a size 6. "Right," I thought, "dream on."

Allison

Allison, I know exactly what you mean. I'll be looking through fashion catalogues imagining what I

might look like in the outfits the models are wearing, and then I look in the mirror. Ugh.

I've learned to be happy that I can fit into a petite 12 instead of a petite 16. Lol

Carolyn Marie.

[Guest ChloëC]

For me, when I think of what might have been, (as I wrote in my profile, there was a time...) it's never been one particular person that I have focused on. Usually it's a type, or maybe a combination of what I see. Size, hair, face, different things at different times. Sort of inspirational on a bit by bit basis.

Sometimes, though, I have looked at the pictures I've taken of myself when dressed and think, hmm, maybe it might have worked, and other times I think, Me? ughhh. And I'm fortunate in that nothing about my physical stature is particularly oversized. Not that I'm 5'6" and 120 lbs. I mostly can take off the rack male clothes and have them fit immediately. (There was a time when I had suits 'off the rack' also taken in/out by a tailor, but I now think that was just to give some kind of status to the clothes, to differentiate them from a place like TJMaxx. lol)

One thing I have found out, most of those catalogs are not exactly showing the, um, truth. First, the models are too often impossibly thin, many catalog makers have perfected the art of air brushing, and I suspect the outfits they are wearing depending on the pricieness of the store, are most likely fitted to varying degrees. Even the catalog colors, I wonder about. I did love it when Victoria's Secret basically forced Frederick's to start using live models instead of the impossibly endowed artist drawings they were using.

It does help that being a cross-dresser, I can, oh, sort of alter my shape in some ways, depending of the space available.(tongue firmly in cheek)

[Guest brenda lee]

I just don't know... today me, my dad, and his two uncles were working on removing a couple of dead trees from the backyard.

While we were back there, the new neighbors, that have been here for about a month, were out working with wood in their yard too. The guy came over and was talking to my dad for awhile, and even later when we were done, talking really with all of us.

His wife...

His wife...

Looked like the exact person I want to be...

She was mostly lean, quite pretty (and from where we were standing, sexy ;P). But she wasn't helpless or soft. She was sorting the wood, moving it all, getting things done. just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, nothing fancy or nothing rugged.

It just..made me think....I could be her... I could live my life in nearly the exact same way i am now if I was a girl instead... I probably would have different interests, at least slightly, might spend my time differently but...

I just don't know what happened or what went through my mind when seeing her... I just thought, if I could change my life and become just like her, I would jump on that offer instantly.

Except for the part about being with a man. No thank you...

~Andrea

Andrea ,Sweetie Hi Its me Brenda Lee again, I have some more I wanted to ad to your post. I know several GG's that I realy wish that I had their beauty ,charm and gracious . To me they have so much in beauty to offer others that it shows in their personalities. I just wish I could do that . Like I have said before I hate being a male. Also many times I was born my moms daughter and not a son. That area I feel I am a complete failure at .LOL Brenda Lee