When Will We Be Treated Like Everyone Else?

[Guest AshleyRF]

Well, it happened. The thing my wife and I were fearing. Her boss called her in his office today to confront her about everything. He made her feel totally horrible and humiliated her. He didn't outright fire her, but he made it perfectly clear to her that her job will constantly be under scrutiny because of this. He gave her several ultimatums to follow like she has to set her myspace page to private because as he put it "it has a lot of things that promote homosexuals" on it. She also can never bring up anything that has to do with gay rights or activism at work (not that she ever did, she has been there for 2 years and he didn't have a clue about any of this till now) and I am not allowed to go up there at all. He also asked her several questions regarding her religion (he's catholic btw) like if we went to church and he said he suggests that she (though he is not requiring her) see one or both of the pastors on staff there for therapy.

Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

The sad thing is, she loves the job and it pays great with great benefits and she is really good at it. In fact, up until now, her boss has done nothing but praised her work there.

[Sally]

Welcome to The United States, home of the free, land of opportunities as long as you agree with the people in charge (translations: the ones with all of the money).

They used to say that might makes right but now it is truly cash makes might.

Just a few Transsexual Billionaires and you would be amazed at the changes that would occur.

Most here are too young to remember but the first time that Nelson Rockefeller ran for the United States Senate his family was appalled after all, "You don't become a Senator - you buy one."

Thus it always was and will forever be, people knuckle under to fear of great strength and worship great amounts of money and the people who hold it become their masters.

So my family and fellow members of this small and totally unrepresented minority we must either be strong or get rich but we must do something if our children and their children are ever to have a chance to be allowed to live a life without fear or shame.

I know that I am too old to benefit from any of the changes that I am trying to work for but I do plan to live long enough to see them started.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Zabrak]

If you were in canada, I would say press charges and call workers comp to get the dude in big, big trouble.

[Guest Elizabeth]

Civil Rights Act of 1964 - CRA - Title VII - Equal Employment Opportunities - 42 US Code Chapter 21

Title VII is the principal federal statute with regard to employment discrimination prohibiting unlawful employment discrimination by public and private employers, labor organizations, training programs and employment agencies based on race or color, religion, sex, and national origin. Retaliation is also prohibited by Title VII against any person for opposing any practice forbidden by statute, or for making a charge, testifying, assisting, or participating in a proceeding under the statute. The Civil Rights Act of 1991 expanded the damages available to Title VII cases and granted Title VII plaintiffs the right to jury trial.

http://finduslaw.com/federal_employment_laws

It is against the law to ask about your religion. If there were any witnesses to this or you have means of proving he asked about religion, then this is clearly discrimination that is prohibited. If my job were in jeapardy, I would contact HR and than perhaps a lawyer.

Elizabeth

[Guest Edu]

I'd strongly suggest that you get some legal advice. I don't know too much about USA laws, but I have read on some places that they provide some degree of protection against such blatant homophobia.

I would say neither "unleash all you have against that **** of a boss", nor "shut-up and hide to protect your wife's job": whatever you (both of you) do is up to you; but being informed about options and possibilities never hurts.

Regards,

Ethain

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Yes you wife's boss just screwed up royally. I would be finding a lawyer who practice's in civil right's laws and work on suing the company. I would also recommend your wife carry a digital recorder with her to record all meetings between her and her employers. I would make sure it were legal to do this first in your state, it varies state by state. But you she will need evidence of this and I would have her start collecting all she can get her hands on from this date forward. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to your wife and yourself it's just not right to have this happen.

[Guest AshleyRF]

There was a witness to it all. Her immediate supervisor was in the room during all this. She had actually told him months before about the situation and he told her that he didn't think it would ever be a problem. I guess he was wrong.

The thing about religion with this place is that it is a christian facility. I'm not exactly sure, but in some cases I think they can discriminate based on religion. This place does get funding from the government through medicare/medicaid however. (it's an assisted living home for mentally retarded adults)

She has contacted the ACLU and they are reviewing it at the moment.

[Guest Kayliegh]

Hello Ashley –

Sorry to hear about your wife’s (and your) dilemma!

While we live a nation that has made great strides towards equal rights for everyone, there will always be discrimination towards individuals expressing those rights!

It took the African-American community over 100 years to finally feel “somewhat” free (depending upon what part of the country you’re from) and as far as the gay and lesbian community, things are going in the right direction, but it will be years before all 50 states acknowledge that there’s nothing “wrong” with them.

I imagine that with us, the TG community, it’ll be a few more years until we are finally “accepted” by folks in general.

I know my rant doesn’t help, but I’m there with you and your wife!!!

I said in an earlier post that we need to organize a “million TG march” on Washington – only then will we get the recognition that we’re not just a bunch of “misfits”, but a group that should be recognized and accepted for who we are. There are too many of us for our government to deny us that right!!

God bless and Love - Kayleigh

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

There was a witness to it all. Her immediate supervisor was in the room during all this. She had actually told him months before about the situation and he told her that he didn't think it would ever be a problem. I guess he was wrong.

The thing about religion with this place is that it is a christian facility. I'm not exactly sure, but in some cases I think they can discriminate based on religion. This place does get funding from the government through medicare/medicaid however. (it's an assisted living home for mentally retarded adults)

She has contacted the ACLU and they are reviewing it at the moment.

carefull sometimes there are loopholes that state that religious organizations do not need to do things that are against their beliefs, there is a clause like that in the New Mexico Human rights code... shortly before the one that says we cannot use the bathroom appropriate to our gender presentation.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Well, it happened. The thing my wife and I were fearing. Her boss called her in his office today to confront her about everything. He made her feel totally horrible and humiliated her. He didn't outright fire her, but he made it perfectly clear to her that her job will constantly be under scrutiny because of this. He gave her several ultimatums to follow like she has to set her myspace page to private because as he put it "it has a lot of things that promote homosexuals" on it. She also can never bring up anything that has to do with gay rights or activism at work (not that she ever did, she has been there for 2 years and he didn't have a clue about any of this till now) and I am not allowed to go up there at all. He also asked her several questions regarding her religion (he's catholic btw) like if we went to church and he said he suggests that she (though he is not requiring her) see one or both of the pastors on staff there for therapy.

Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

The sad thing is, she loves the job and it pays great with great benefits and she is really good at it. In fact, up until now, her boss has done nothing but praised her work there.

Welcome to the deep south bible belt. Where they are strictly religious and follow all the lessons Jesus taught. Well except the wife beating, tolerance, love your neighbor, don't covet, cheating, lying, stealing, killing, raping but other then that.

I lived in Georgia from 1997 through January of 2005 and I hated it so much. I'll visit my parents who where moved there for my Dad's work and the warmer temperature but I will never move down there if I can help it.

I would have your wife start a log of everything said to her and what she says back, what she has accomplished, and the times she arrives and leaves for the day plus breaks. That way when they try to cook up a reason why she is being dismissed she will have a full log of everything and can sue them for wrongful termination. I would include todays lovely meeting with the boss as day 1. When it comes time to sue I would request change of venue because of the bias of the current venue and try to get your case heard in a more progressive area like DC which has laws against this behavior.

Just get your ducks in a row, because the clock is ticking. They said it themselves it's just a matter of time before they let her go with that whole scrutiny thing. Oh and firing someone for their myspace page could be turned around on the boss as online stalking. You could totally get him charged as a sex offender.

[Guest AshleyRF]

I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

[Guest tapiarachael]

If i were you i would not give up. If you really want change to happen then you should ABSOLUTELY NOT stay silent. Do whatever you can to sue him for such blatant discrimination and if no one will help you then go to the newspapers but please do something. I know you may not want attention drawn to yourself but how else are we going to fight this and let people know that this is NOT o.k.? Sorry it's just that this makes me really angry but I honestly believe you should pursue this, :/

[Guest NatalieRene]

I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

I hope she won't be needing him for a reference. I hope everything works out for you and your wife, but don't give up on everybody.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Ashley hon,

What your wife's boss did is against every corporate policy I have ever read. Your wife's boss is expressing his own personal prejudice towards her and not representing the companies policies, I am sure. Your wife should check with the HR department about what was said to her by her boss. Her boss has no right to dictate nor threaten job loss based on religion, sexual orientation, etc. I would recommend that your wife have a heart to heart chat with the HR department about what just happened. Additionally, it is none of your wife's boss's buisiness what you do or gender identity. That does not concern him.

Brenda

[Guest Edu]

I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

The final choice is yours, and your wife's, but I want to make sure you realize that there's a quite big point in fighting homophobia: it's the only way we can hope to ever defeat it.

We are not 2nd class citizens. We are persons, like everyone else, and we have the same rights. Those who don't know this are ignorant, and those who don't like it are homophobic. We are being treated as 2nd class citizens on too many contexts, but that doesn't mean that this is the way things should be, nor the way things will always be.

If you end up deciding that what you might achieve is not worth the costs of a legal process, or something like that, I'd respect your choice; but, by all means, do not allow their hate to get into yourself. You are not a 2nd class citizen: they want you to think that so they can treat you as such. You are a person. You deserve to be treated as well as any other citizen. Even more, you are you, and that puts you higher than any of those pigs.

Whatever happens with this, please, don't let them contagiate you with their hate. Do not believe a single word of what people like that boss say: they hate you. Most of what comes out of their mouth is poison intended to hurt you. So immunize yourself against such poison and don't go down.

Also, keep in mind that there are alternatives to a legal process. If your wife is already looking for a new job, that's a good thing. Once she gets out of that place, you may consider raising awareness on the issue. Local media (such as newspapers and TV) is often a good tool to start: the smaller their range, the harder they find to get good stories to publish. If you can get the history known, and get it focused on the fact that your wife's work had been praised for around 2 years and then she was threatened just because of your (not even hers!) gender issues, it might reach quite a lot of people. This also depends on the population's mentality, and media often look for the "juicy" parts of a story; so it'd be essential to get the focus on the idea that she had been threatened at work for things that are completely independent from her work.

That's just my PoV anyway.

Regards,

Ethain

[Guest Tammy Maher]

Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

My friends and I were talking in the dining commons yesterday about how our majors are better. So the best part about being a theater major (well I'm tech, but still) is you can pretend things exist and while you are on stage they actually do such as Teleportation and Freedom of Speech.

I love theater.