Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

When Will We Be Treated Like Everyone Else?


Guest AshleyRF

Recommended Posts

Guest AshleyRF

Well, it happened. The thing my wife and I were fearing. Her boss called her in his office today to confront her about everything. He made her feel totally horrible and humiliated her. He didn't outright fire her, but he made it perfectly clear to her that her job will constantly be under scrutiny because of this. He gave her several ultimatums to follow like she has to set her myspace page to private because as he put it "it has a lot of things that promote homosexuals" on it. She also can never bring up anything that has to do with gay rights or activism at work (not that she ever did, she has been there for 2 years and he didn't have a clue about any of this till now) and I am not allowed to go up there at all. He also asked her several questions regarding her religion (he's catholic btw) like if we went to church and he said he suggests that she (though he is not requiring her) see one or both of the pastors on staff there for therapy.

Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

The sad thing is, she loves the job and it pays great with great benefits and she is really good at it. In fact, up until now, her boss has done nothing but praised her work there.

Link to comment

Welcome to The United States, home of the free, land of opportunities as long as you agree with the people in charge (translations: the ones with all of the money).

They used to say that might makes right but now it is truly cash makes might.

Just a few Transsexual Billionaires and you would be amazed at the changes that would occur.

Most here are too young to remember but the first time that Nelson Rockefeller ran for the United States Senate his family was appalled after all, "You don't become a Senator - you buy one."

Thus it always was and will forever be, people knuckle under to fear of great strength and worship great amounts of money and the people who hold it become their masters.

So my family and fellow members of this small and totally unrepresented minority we must either be strong or get rich but we must do something if our children and their children are ever to have a chance to be allowed to live a life without fear or shame.

I know that I am too old to benefit from any of the changes that I am trying to work for but I do plan to live long enough to see them started.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth
Civil Rights Act of 1964 - CRA - Title VII - Equal Employment Opportunities - 42 US Code Chapter 21

Title VII is the principal federal statute with regard to employment discrimination prohibiting unlawful employment discrimination by public and private employers, labor organizations, training programs and employment agencies based on race or color, religion, sex, and national origin. Retaliation is also prohibited by Title VII against any person for opposing any practice forbidden by statute, or for making a charge, testifying, assisting, or participating in a proceeding under the statute. The Civil Rights Act of 1991 expanded the damages available to Title VII cases and granted Title VII plaintiffs the right to jury trial.

http://finduslaw.com/federal_employment_laws

It is against the law to ask about your religion. If there were any witnesses to this or you have means of proving he asked about religion, then this is clearly discrimination that is prohibited. If my job were in jeapardy, I would contact HR and than perhaps a lawyer.

Elizabeth

Link to comment

I'd strongly suggest that you get some legal advice. I don't know too much about USA laws, but I have read on some places that they provide some degree of protection against such blatant homophobia.

I would say neither "unleash all you have against that **** of a boss", nor "shut-up and hide to protect your wife's job": whatever you (both of you) do is up to you; but being informed about options and possibilities never hurts.

Regards,

Ethain

Link to comment
Guest Charlene_Leona

Yes you wife's boss just screwed up royally. I would be finding a lawyer who practice's in civil right's laws and work on suing the company. I would also recommend your wife carry a digital recorder with her to record all meetings between her and her employers. I would make sure it were legal to do this first in your state, it varies state by state. But you she will need evidence of this and I would have her start collecting all she can get her hands on from this date forward. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to your wife and yourself it's just not right to have this happen.

Link to comment
Guest AshleyRF

There was a witness to it all. Her immediate supervisor was in the room during all this. She had actually told him months before about the situation and he told her that he didn't think it would ever be a problem. I guess he was wrong.

The thing about religion with this place is that it is a christian facility. I'm not exactly sure, but in some cases I think they can discriminate based on religion. This place does get funding from the government through medicare/medicaid however. (it's an assisted living home for mentally retarded adults)

She has contacted the ACLU and they are reviewing it at the moment.

Link to comment
Guest Kayliegh

Hello Ashley –

Sorry to hear about your wife’s (and your) dilemma!

While we live a nation that has made great strides towards equal rights for everyone, there will always be discrimination towards individuals expressing those rights!

It took the African-American community over 100 years to finally feel “somewhat” free (depending upon what part of the country you’re from) and as far as the gay and lesbian community, things are going in the right direction, but it will be years before all 50 states acknowledge that there’s nothing “wrong” with them.

I imagine that with us, the TG community, it’ll be a few more years until we are finally “accepted” by folks in general.

I know my rant doesn’t help, but I’m there with you and your wife!!!

I said in an earlier post that we need to organize a “million TG march” on Washington – only then will we get the recognition that we’re not just a bunch of “misfits”, but a group that should be recognized and accepted for who we are. There are too many of us for our government to deny us that right!!

God bless and Love - Kayleigh

Link to comment
Guest Joanna Phipps
There was a witness to it all. Her immediate supervisor was in the room during all this. She had actually told him months before about the situation and he told her that he didn't think it would ever be a problem. I guess he was wrong.

The thing about religion with this place is that it is a christian facility. I'm not exactly sure, but in some cases I think they can discriminate based on religion. This place does get funding from the government through medicare/medicaid however. (it's an assisted living home for mentally retarded adults)

She has contacted the ACLU and they are reviewing it at the moment.

carefull sometimes there are loopholes that state that religious organizations do not need to do things that are against their beliefs, there is a clause like that in the New Mexico Human rights code... shortly before the one that says we cannot use the bathroom appropriate to our gender presentation.

Link to comment
Guest NatalieRene
Well, it happened. The thing my wife and I were fearing. Her boss called her in his office today to confront her about everything. He made her feel totally horrible and humiliated her. He didn't outright fire her, but he made it perfectly clear to her that her job will constantly be under scrutiny because of this. He gave her several ultimatums to follow like she has to set her myspace page to private because as he put it "it has a lot of things that promote homosexuals" on it. She also can never bring up anything that has to do with gay rights or activism at work (not that she ever did, she has been there for 2 years and he didn't have a clue about any of this till now) and I am not allowed to go up there at all. He also asked her several questions regarding her religion (he's catholic btw) like if we went to church and he said he suggests that she (though he is not requiring her) see one or both of the pastors on staff there for therapy.

Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

The sad thing is, she loves the job and it pays great with great benefits and she is really good at it. In fact, up until now, her boss has done nothing but praised her work there.

Welcome to the deep south bible belt. Where they are strictly religious and follow all the lessons Jesus taught. Well except the wife beating, tolerance, love your neighbor, don't covet, cheating, lying, stealing, killing, raping but other then that. <_<

I lived in Georgia from 1997 through January of 2005 and I hated it so much. I'll visit my parents who where moved there for my Dad's work and the warmer temperature but I will never move down there if I can help it.

I would have your wife start a log of everything said to her and what she says back, what she has accomplished, and the times she arrives and leaves for the day plus breaks. That way when they try to cook up a reason why she is being dismissed she will have a full log of everything and can sue them for wrongful termination. I would include todays lovely meeting with the boss as day 1. When it comes time to sue I would request change of venue because of the bias of the current venue and try to get your case heard in a more progressive area like DC which has laws against this behavior.

Just get your ducks in a row, because the clock is ticking. They said it themselves it's just a matter of time before they let her go with that whole scrutiny thing. Oh and firing someone for their myspace page could be turned around on the boss as online stalking. You could totally get him charged as a sex offender.

Link to comment
Guest AshleyRF

I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

Link to comment
Guest tapiarachael

If i were you i would not give up. If you really want change to happen then you should ABSOLUTELY NOT stay silent. Do whatever you can to sue him for such blatant discrimination and if no one will help you then go to the newspapers but please do something. I know you may not want attention drawn to yourself but how else are we going to fight this and let people know that this is NOT o.k.? Sorry it's just that this makes me really angry but I honestly believe you should pursue this, :/

Link to comment
Guest NatalieRene
I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

I hope she won't be needing him for a reference. I hope everything works out for you and your wife, but don't give up on everybody.

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Ashley hon,

What your wife's boss did is against every corporate policy I have ever read. Your wife's boss is expressing his own personal prejudice towards her and not representing the companies policies, I am sure. Your wife should check with the HR department about what was said to her by her boss. Her boss has no right to dictate nor threaten job loss based on religion, sexual orientation, etc. I would recommend that your wife have a heart to heart chat with the HR department about what just happened. Additionally, it is none of your wife's boss's buisiness what you do or gender identity. That does not concern him.

Brenda

Link to comment
I figure, what's the point in fighting it. She is just going to find another job and hopefully she will have one before they can fire her from this one. There is no point in trying to fight this. We have no rights because this country simply does not care about us. We are 2nd class citizens and that's probably where we will always be. We should just smile and be thankful he didn't do something worse I suppose.

:blink: The final choice is yours, and your wife's, but I want to make sure you realize that there's a quite big point in fighting homophobia: it's the only way we can hope to ever defeat it.

We are not 2nd class citizens. We are persons, like everyone else, and we have the same rights. Those who don't know this are ignorant, and those who don't like it are homophobic. We are being treated as 2nd class citizens on too many contexts, but that doesn't mean that this is the way things should be, nor the way things will always be.

If you end up deciding that what you might achieve is not worth the costs of a legal process, or something like that, I'd respect your choice; but, by all means, do not allow their hate to get into yourself. You are not a 2nd class citizen: they want you to think that so they can treat you as such. You are a person. You deserve to be treated as well as any other citizen. Even more, you are you, and that puts you higher than any of those pigs.

Whatever happens with this, please, don't let them contagiate you with their hate. Do not believe a single word of what people like that boss say: they hate you. Most of what comes out of their mouth is poison intended to hurt you. So immunize yourself against such poison and don't go down.

Also, keep in mind that there are alternatives to a legal process. If your wife is already looking for a new job, that's a good thing. Once she gets out of that place, you may consider raising awareness on the issue. Local media (such as newspapers and TV) is often a good tool to start: the smaller their range, the harder they find to get good stories to publish. If you can get the history known, and get it focused on the fact that your wife's work had been praised for around 2 years and then she was threatened just because of your (not even hers!) gender issues, it might reach quite a lot of people. This also depends on the population's mentality, and media often look for the "juicy" parts of a story; so it'd be essential to get the focus on the idea that she had been threatened at work for things that are completely independent from her work.

That's just my PoV anyway.

Regards,

Ethain

Link to comment
Guest Tammy Maher
Isn't the country we live in great? God I love being less than a 2nd class citizen that can be discriminated against.

My friends and I were talking in the dining commons yesterday about how our majors are better. So the best part about being a theater major (well I'm tech, but still) is you can pretend things exist and while you are on stage they actually do such as Teleportation and Freedom of Speech.

I love theater.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 73 Guests (See full list)

    • Birdie
    • KathyLauren
    • MaryEllen
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,128
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alisa Anne
    Newest Member
    Alisa Anne
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alin RP
      Alin RP
      (27 years old)
    2. CipherKai
      CipherKai
      (48 years old)
    3. Dawn2020
      Dawn2020
      (75 years old)
    4. Irwin
      Irwin
      (18 years old)
    5. luke_b
      luke_b
      (21 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Animal Crossing is fun.
    • Ivy
      Yes. I appreciate y'all mods and what you do for us - including reining me in when I'm heading in a bad direction.
    • April Marie
      I could not agree more or be more appreciative of this. As one who has come out to only a few people, here I can truly be myself with little fear of inadvertent exposure. Having that ability has helped me to find myself and to gain confidence in expressing my true self. It has helped me to love myself, something I could never do before.
    • Vidanjali
      I appreciate this so much and it's one of the reasons why this community feels like home - a rare treasure among the world wide web. 
    • VickySGV
      As far as things being lost on the Web, accidents happen, Just here alone, I have 20,825 posts showing in my number count, but probably only 19K of them are still actually here to view.  There was a change to a new server a number of years ago, and a segment of the data base they were in became locked and could not be transferred to the new drive in the servers we use now.  Why or how that segment of the data base became locked has not been figured out in the time since but at least we know what happened and it was not intentional or aimed at a single element of behavior here.  Data accidents happen with not one single person really responsible for them or for that matter even the computer itself.  Frustrating as all get out when it happens, but it does happen.  Some other electronics I work on as a hobby had their similar problems here a couple days ago because of the Solar Flares, and power outages or dips in voltage can make electronic life miserable.
    • Carolyn Marie
      This is very true, Jani.  The original owner of this site, Laura, and her chief assistants, developed our community rules more than 15 years ago.  They have been modified many times, to take into account changing tastes, mores, technical issues and legal issues.  Sites such as TikTok and X didn't exist then.  Our naughty word filter, as just one example, has been modified many, many times.   On this site, as on most private sites, in order to become a member one must agree to the T's & C's and abide by, in our case, the "Community Rules."  If you seriously violate those rules your membership can be terminated.  So, yes, freedom of speech here is restricted.  Some sites are lax about enforcement, but that has never been the case here.  We guard the safety of members, and your emotional comfort, zealously.  We aren't perfect and sometimes let things get out of hand, or we go too far with restrictions, but those instances are uncommon (IMO).   Every site has different standards.  Luckily, for every interest there are numerous sites and it's usually easy to find one that fits your needs and temperament.  When it comes to the Internet, one size does not fit all.   Thanks for your question, @Ladypcnj.   Carolyn Marie
    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Jani and Vidanjali, it helps me understand more. 
    • Vidanjali
      If I take time to type something up which I find personally important or impactful, I will first type it on a Word document or on the notes app on my phone and save it before sharing it online if the intention of the writing was to be shared in that way. Indeed, it is extremely frustrating for that sort of work to vanish when it was an emotional experience to have recounted and written it. But if it does happen, my advice would be to try to focus on having had the personal catharsis of transforming the thoughts into words. Even if the writing has vanished, your intention was acted out. You cannot control the results, whether it disappeared or not. So we can try our best to focus on gratitude for having been able to express what was expressed in the way it was expressed, rather than disappointment over it not bearing the fruit we expected it to. From a higher point of view, all things of this world are non-permanent. So when something like that happens, at best we can view it as an opportunity to practice mitigating grief over non-permanence of all things. All this is easily said - I acknowledge it is challenging. But without challenge, we do not grow.   As far as freedom of speech is concerned, my view is that implicit in freedom of speech is duty in exercising that freedom responsibly. That means applying ethics to speech. One may ask, "whose ethics?" which is a valid question. The answer is, your ethics. If you wish to participate in a community with a specific code of rules or ethics, it is up to you to use your art and skill to express yourself within that framework. Of course in certain contexts it becomes imperative to speak up, breaking the rules - blowing whistles as it were. But that likewise should be done skillfully as much as possible. If one feels unduly constrained within a community ethical framework, one may also exercise their freedom to not participate in that community. It is a balance, like anything else in life. There is no ethical framework which is ideal because this is not an ideal world. So, tldr; do your best and make good decisions.
    • Jani
      As a private platform the owner can limit what is said on this space.   I'm sure someone with more authority and/or insight into this issue will chime in. Jani   “A few narrow categories of speech are not protected from government restrictions. The main such categories are incitement, defamation, fraud, obscenity, child pornography, fighting words, and threats. As the Supreme Court held in Brandenburg v. Ohio (1969)   The Freedom of Speech is one of the most essential tenants of American democracy, yet that right is not absolute. The First Amendment prohibits States from passing laws that “abridge the Freedom of Speech.” Thus, because Platforms are private businesses, individuals cannot use the First Amendment to pursue recourse against censorship on a private platform.”
    • Ivy
      I've heard of this being done.  It seems like a good idea, I mean the gas is already there.  I don't see why it couldn't be done on a larger scale.  The technology already exists.  I expect the problem would be coordinating it all, and who does that.  We're all so determined to protect our own turf, myself included.
    • Willow
      Good morning   my body and my mind kept waking me up saying hey aren’t you supposed to be getting up now since about 4am. I finally got up at 8:20 to get ready for my 10am shift.  I guess your wake up system gets into a habit and doesn’t like change.off tomorrow, then work Memorial day.    We got rain and a bit of thunder last night. Nothing too bad, unlike the poor people in the Midwest. They are really getting hammered with tornadoes this spring.  I suppose we’ll get ours later on.  It’s supposed to be a bad hurricane season and we haven’t had a really bad one in quite a few years.  The worst I’ve seen was a Cat 3 when the eye went right over us.     I stayed and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but a 5? Now that’s another story.  I really don’t know how these condos will hold up to a bad hurricane.  Yes there is bracing throughout but how well was any of it installed?  Only the tradesmen plumbing electricians finish craftsmen spoke English the rest were all Hispanic and different emigrants worked together on different parts of the buildings.  One group did the framing and sheathing another different crew the roof, another the windows and so on.  Each building is 4 stories 18 units.  On the bottom we have four units with double walls but the top two are 5 each and no double walls.    @Mirrabooka I didn’t see many Reds, Roos or grasshoppers when I was in Australia.  I was mostly in Tasmania where they are mostly Wallabies.  My wife got to hold a young Tazzy Devil and a Koala Bear and I’ve held a wombat.  An emu got the best of my wife stealing all the food she had.   time to get ready for my day   Willow      
    • Birdie
    • Mirrabooka
      I yam wot I yam! Yeah!
    • Ladypcnj
      As we know online rules are usually created by a team of people, basically the guideline rules are to keep everything running smoothly, and everyone is treated equally, and most importantly the code of conduct to make sure no rules are broken. My concern is, what happens when the online community rules (in general speaking) can have an impact on the freedom of speech? Perhaps it might had been artificial intelligence, that took down a post I made on the internet, somewhere else. I know I haven't broken any rules, I was sharing a true story experience I had about online safety, so it doesn't happen to anyone else.. then the post was taken down. I felt to frustrate the time and energy I've spent typing out my experience what happened to me, and then poof it was gone  lol  What can I do about this? lol
    • Mirrabooka
      @Heather Shay you keep opening these cans of worms!!! 😄   I'm not a musician; I've barely strummed a guitar ever, but I LOVE music.    As far as influential voices go, I invite you to consider these homegrown guys, who continue to give me earworms. I hope that you listen to and can appreciate them:   Jimmy Barnes   Daryl Braithwaite   Very best: John Farnham  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...