Dealing With Prejudice

[Guest sphere]

So lately I have taken a lot of interest in Buddhism and quantum physics, and it's helped me cope with certain aspects of being transsexual and especially with bigotry from others.

Basically I have taken up the attitude that we are all one, we are limitless and there is no need to desire things just because we all have the potential to achieve, grow, and learn. This gave me a reason to no longer compare myself and be as competitive as I am, to a fault (though I can't help but comparing myself to others sometimes, I just remind myself of these things..).

Anyway, the body is a mere shell which we use as a tool to exist as we know it. We separate ourselves and in fear of the unknown we try to push everyone to be like us, and for us to be like everyone else, but in the process we do the opposite of what we are trying to do: we separate each other further and become truly alone in the empty shell that is our bodies. This is because of basic instinct, and our instincts is just a series of chemical reactions in the mind to trick us into believing that we are truly alone in said bodies, that we are our bodies. But this is not so. We all are composed of the same matter and energy which creates the universe, and our own awareness of these things, ourselves, and the universe can either be used to see the truth and that we are all one, or to separate us further and lock ourselves away--it is merely a choice.

...which is where prejudice comes in. Just a creation from distancing ourselves and pushing others away because we do not understand. Naturally, we all do this at least a little, since no one can fully control their own instincts, but to see past this and our bodies is how we can have a conscience. Basically, the inability to see past the body is what causes things like racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia.

For me, helping understand what causes prejudice on its own helps me deal with it, so I have a rough idea of why a person is acting in such a way. The real trick lies in your response to said person, and most people with narrow minded ideas in their brain aren't so willing to simply open their eyes and listen to you.

Just as these ideas helped me in coping with my inner struggles, it also helps me internally when dealing with prejudice. Knowing these things makes it much less easy to form any sort of grudge, with said prejudiced person or with myself. Though I still fall to impatience and anger with prejudice pretty easily, but it's pretty difficult not to.

Enough of my ranting. How do you cope with prejudice? If someone bullies you, to your face or behind your back, about your gender identity (or anything, really) what do you do or say? How do you fight against prejudice when it is so strong and prevalent? How do you win a battle when you are against the universe?

Because I really have no idea. All I know are a few things that don't work as responses to prejudice, things like anger, impatience, ignoring, or getting someone else to fight your own battle. Bravery, open-mindedness, patience, and understanding are things that defeat prejudice, but how can one individual facing it get someone to leave them alone, if not obliterate their own prejudice (my expectations aren't so high).

Any other thoughts or ideas pertaining to this are more than welcome~

[Guest angie]

This is a tough question to answer as I have experienced prejudice

from subtle, to bold, total turn their back on me and walk away,

act like I do not exsist.It is a part of our journey as transsexuals to

be open and accepting of all.Regardless of who they are,what their

beliefs,or sexuality.Even if they don't adhere to our view,we still

accept them without prejudice.Yet the same cannot be said from the

general population.In my time,during service on sunday,When the

closing mantra is stated,folks will not look me in the eye,avert theirs,

give hateful looks of disdane.During the meet and greet,I am avoided,

folks go out of their way not to talk,hug or shake my hand.And this

comes from straights and our sisters in the lesbian community as well.

The gays have been the most accepting.

To be honest,it hurts and confuses me still.And takes every ounce of control

not to confront them and ask what is their problem?But that would only be

playing into their hand.So I keep silent,keep my hurt to myself.But I am

running thin on patience.Feel the time is coming to tell them what I think.

Who is a lesbian to throw prejudice at me,just because I have to walk

this path.Who is a straight person,who is supposed to be so accepting of

all Gods creations,to deny,reject,turn away and ridicule me.Yes I have

experienced prejudice,have for the last two plus years,most every sunday,

in the last place I expected it to survive for so long,in my place of worship,

that is supposed to be so accepting and inclusive of all.

Angelique

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Sphere,

For most of us, we can’t eliminate ‘instinct’ but with practice we do have the ability to control it…But first in order for one to do this one needs to contemplate the age old question of “Who am ‘I’ ? You have mentioned that ‘you’ still get angry and impatient, ask your ‘self’ who is ‘it’ that gets angry and impatient?

For quite a number of years [since first beginning to practice the Dharma] I had pondered the question of “Who am ‘I’ ?” and continually come up with the same answer/conclusion… On the weekend Lama Geshe[which means professor] Thinley [a Tibetan Lama] visited the island where I live to teach the Dharma {he comes over around once a month} Anyway toward the end of the talk, he asked each of us to try and pin down the elusive ‘I’ which tends to crop up all the time, for example… ‘I’ have a body but ‘I’m not the body—‘I’ have thoughts but ‘I’m not thoughts—“I’ have a mind but ‘I’m not the mind---Who am ‘I’ ?

Well for some reason when ‘I’ need to express what it is ‘I’m ‘thinking’ I do it in poem form by doing so I have to really concentrate on the words at the end of the lines so that they make some kind of sense…

Now I’m not sure how familiar you are with the concept of ‘karma’ but in a nutshell ‘karma’ just means ‘action’…”For every action there’s a reaction!”

The philosophy of ‘I’ [Well according to me that is]

Who am I ? Has been the quest of philosophers of old-

perhaps they were none the wiser- just leaving us with the mold…

Lama Geshe Thinley gave me this quest and no matter how ‘I’ try-

when searching deep within my ‘self’ ‘I’ have trouble finding ‘I’..

‘I’ have a body, thoughts and a mind, but when I do the sums-

the more ‘I’ try to pin down ‘who ‘I’ am’ the more difficult it becomes !

So am ‘I’ just an illusion, like a distant rainbow to behold ?

and when up close, finding nothing, the trail just runs cold…

‘I’ guess ‘I’ should give up the ghost, and perhaps just say to the Lama-

‘I’ can’t seem to pin down who ‘I’ am – so could ‘I’ just be a product of [my] ‘karma’?[actions]

After all

Karma ‘is’ a law unto it ‘self’ !

Sphere when one can finally overcome ‘attachment’, then ‘anger’ ‘hatred’ ‘ill will’ ‘impatience’ 'prejudice' will be seen for what they are…Just illusions that the ego-self needs in order to survive…

I hope you find out who ‘you’ really are…

Happy Mindfulness

Metta Jendar =A karmic bundle of selves