I Just Don't Get It

[Guest Amy Androgynous]

hi all amy here xxx

i was in hospital at the begining of september (the reason is not important) and as you may have guessed my hair (at the time) was shoulder length, i had a line in my neck and it was always catching in my hair... my mum brought a hair bobble / hair tie / makes a ponytail, and she said "i know it's a bit sissy but it'll help with the thing in your neck"

I was more than happy to wear a pink bobble in my hair and all...

when i got out of hospital mum got a text and was driving, she told me to read it and i did and it was about a sick joke about sex and a child in a dress. mum took the phone off me and just did a quiet laugh as if to say "woopsie, not for you"

following a few other previous experiences i haven't a clue about my mum's acceptance now!!

[Guest Jess_W]

ah wow, so the uh joke, ti wasn't mean right, it was just a joke, if she keeps infering she's okay with what you do, especially in such a short time, take it up with her, it seems she's trying to get you to talk to her about it?

arey ou out with her? like does she know (at least know buy the point you told her)

[Carolyn Marie]

I wouldn't read too much into it, Amy. It sounds innocent enough.

I think the pink hair bobble sounds cute, though! I'll bet you enjoyed that.

I wish I had hair long enough for one.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Amy Androgynous]

I wouldn't read too much into it, Amy. It sounds innocent enough.

I think the pink hair bobble sounds cute, though! I'll bet you enjoyed that.

I wish I had hair long enough for one.

Carolyn Marie

thank you, i do think i look into a bit much however it was iratating to be shown both pro CD and con CD by the same person :/ and it's funny that i loved having my hair in a bobble but i didn't get the chance to actually enjoy it, it was like i put it in and i was scared about the "that boy has a pink bobble" idea =[

love amy

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi, Amy,

I'm not going to disagree with any of the suggestions here, but perhaps offer just a slightly different take. Maybe she is trying to start a discussion, or maybe trying to understand your commitment to what you want. Possibly (like many others) she may be a little confused about what being tg actually means and what all the differences are.

I enjoy getting dressed, but I think I would have an extremely difficult time doing so in front of someone I wasn't sure understood enough about who and what I am - and was fully and totally accepting of me. If someone wasn't fully, yet seemed supportive, and offered me some feminine article, I'm not really sure how I personally would take it. Except to maybe ask why.

I do know that when I take the time to dress fully, I really don't think I want to be seen as a male, dressing as female. But someone not fully understanding the differences between tv, cd, MTF, drag, etc. could easily confuse all of them. And that person, in a naive but well meaning attempt to be supportive, actually may step on some toes.

And that's a hard part for all of us to deal with, I think. Knowing when someone is being supportive but confused. As opposed to someone being a little upset. Responding with anger or disappointment often won't go far in making it a better situation. Asking questions, remaining calm, responding positively - all can help. Time and understanding, it really has to go both ways.

I hope it works out.

Chloë

ps. I agree! If someone gave me an attractive article, I would definitely want to see how I looked in/with it, yet, I certainly couldn't do it not dressed. That would send absolutely confusing signals about me.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

thank you, i do think i look into a bit much however it was iratating to be shown both pro CD and con CD by the same person :/ and it's funny that i loved having my hair in a bobble but i didn't get the chance to actually enjoy it, it was like i put it in and i was scared about the "that boy has a pink bobble" idea =[

love amy

Amy, while a person (SO/Spouse etc) is getting used to the idea they will have that kind of conflict. It is normal and natural; my advice would be to give the issue some time and let your mum come to her own terms with it. Trying to push her into your corner can have exactly the opposite results; there is no telling just how long it will take either.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Amy, Sweetheart....

I agree with Joanna here on this......

You don't want to get the opposite effect that you desire....

Telling ANYONE about yourself can have results from immediate to a long time to digest it all....

Pushing someone to see your side can cause them to become defensive and lock you out!

Give your mom time....let her digest it all....don't push your side, you've given her the information....let it seep in!

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Case in point Dee Jay, it has taken my wife since june to come to sufficient acceptance that we will be staying together. If I had pushed her she may well have filed the divorce papers