How Important Is Sex (as In The Activity)?

[Guest amie]

I've never desired a great deal of sex in my life but rather a meaningful and wholesome relationship with someone.

I've discovered what it's like to be involved with someone consumed by sex and it's pretty disappointing, as well as unattractive.

I've always been more of a sexual provider for the most part anyway. I love to provide that for a special someone as well as love the thought of someone enjoying me that much.

[Guest Sarinah]

I think sex is about your mindset. What it means to you relationship wise, what kind of value it has, and what you are looking for out of it are all things that you decide, and can change in your own mind. For me I put sex at an extremely high value and have an extremely high expectation, so therefore I do not expect it except in the most closely bonded relationships. I personally do not let physical pleasure manipulate any other part of my life.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Alexander,

I love this place for many reasons, but one is that we can be so open about these things.

I happen to like sex, actually a lot over the years. But I also need it to be with someone close that I can share with and not just ships in the night kind of thing. And being the age I am, and having been married twice and three children, I have some experience - like a lot (not Wilt Chamberlin a lot, but well...). And I would guess that over 90-95% of the time, it's been, well, you know - great is an understatement.

But, I've also thought long and hard about this whenever I considered transitioning (which I have but have decided against it, at least for now), and I've sort of come to a conclusion that it isn't the plumbing, it's the result of the actions, and how I feel and how my partner feels, pre, at the moment, and afterwards. But especially the last two. I can't believe there are drugs that can exactly simulate what I feel, and anyway I wouldn't want that because I would know it's fake (and self, um, is a very limited substitute, better than drugs but not really there). For me, anyway, it's the moment, the intimacy, the giving up or release of a lot of emotions. And whatever I am, whereever I am, I wouldn't want that to ever go away. Which I think because it isn't any particular piece of plumbing (although, it is a means to an end, that is, stimulation - physical or emotional), that feeling can be achieved regardless.

And as I responded in another thread (Rachel's), it would have to be with someone I feel close to of the opposite sex. (or opposite how I am presenting and outwardly viewing myself).

That's how I am, and shouldn't be taken as a standard, just one of the many widely (and wildly) varied possibilities that make up tg people.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest ricka]

I had already weighed in on this thread but have a few more thoughts. First i will chime in with the other transwomen who still have their male genitalia in tact. The mental part of sex is hugely important to what we experience in our bodies. I feel totally female between my legs, partly at least which is due to the fact that I have shrunk a lot due to the naturally high estrogen levels in my body. I experience more pleasurable sensations as "inside" rather than external, if that makes any sense. My breasts are also very erogenous. That said sex is all about intimacy and openess and caring for each other and experiencing emotional fulfillment as a woman. I hope this post passes muster. I would understand if it doesn't and requires censoring.

Ricka

[Guest angie]

I had already weighed in on this thread but have a few more thoughts. First i will chime in with the other transwomen who still have their male genitalia in tact. The mental part of sex is hugely important to what we experience in our bodies. I feel totally female between my legs, partly at least which is due to the fact that I have shrunk a lot due to the naturally high estrogen levels in my body. I experience more pleasurable sensations as "inside" rather than external, if that makes any sense. My breasts are also very erogenous. That said sex is all about intimacy and openess and caring for each other and experiencing emotional fulfillment as a woman. I hope this post passes muster. I would understand if it doesn't and requires censoring.

Ricka

What I am having a hard time doing,

Is getting passed the original equipment,and find comfort with a lover.What isn't supposed to be there,just bothers me that much.

Angie

[Guest Lidian]

I don't think sex should ever be a deciding factor in a relationship.

Personally i don't care if i never had sex again..my libido is pretty much nil XD

I'm also bi sexual and so even if my gender changed i'd still be attracted to both.

i think what's more important is to find a partner, be it male or female, who is comfortable and accepts the fact that you are transgender. Someone who will treat you how you wish to be treated (either male or female) and understands that depending on how your transitioning goes, you may look and act male but actually physicaly be female, or at some point in the future may be completely male.

[Guest Camicochan]

After my complete transition (the physical part) I have no idea if I will have an urge to 'try out the new equipment' or not.

Only time will tell so I would have to say that it has played no part in my transition.

Oh I think sex is the driving force for my desire for surgery. Even though there's no logical way for me to know what it feels like, when I think about it I can almost feel it in my mind... it could end up being completely different, but in any event it's very arousing. While hormones have completely changed the way I feel the pleasure (I think my drive has gone up!), the existing equipment just doesn't cut it for me.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

For me sex is not the driving force in my wanting surgery, the longer I walk this trail of transition the more I desire the surgery as a means of completion. Not just physical completion but legal as well, as many of our brothers and sisters know there is much of your id that you cannot change with out the surgery. Once i have had my surgery, and that is one of the many reasons for my return to Canada, I can change all of my documentation and be the woman I should have been at birth.

[Guest SorchaA]

Oh I think sex is the driving force for my desire for surgery.

i think for me this is a very good quote, some of you have said how good the sex is before and after, i've never had good sex in my life so sex does not mean much to me unfortunately i crave it every day, so this is not a good thing as I'm single and it may stay that way for some time.

I'm full time and being on hormones for just over a year.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

i think for me this is a very good quote, some of you have said how good the sex is before and after, i've never had good sex in my life so sex does not mean much to me unfortunately i crave it every day, so this is not a good thing as I'm single and it may stay that way for some time.

I'm full time and being on hormones for just over a year.

Stray thoughts from a mind programmed in random mode:

If sex is the driving force in the desire for surgery can it also be the driving force in one's life.

Far more important to me is it to be complete and enjoy sex as one who is complete not as one who did the completion for sex