A Bit Of An Update, And A Question

[Guest Emmy]

Over the past year I've been trying to convince myself that I'm just a male and I should just stop even thinking other wise for the sake of my mother who has been having heart problems. But the fact of the matter is I know that I'm truly a female, and I would like to tell them before I leave the country for collage next year.

So my question is, should I just tell them before I leave? Or leave and then after collage come home and surprise them with the real me?

[Guest Donna Jean]

Over the past year I've been trying to convince myself that I'm just a male and I should just stop even thinking other wise for the sake of my mother who has been having heart problems. But the fact of the matter is I know that I'm truly a female, and I would like to tell them before I leave the country for collage next year.

So my question is, should I just tell them before I leave? Or leave and then after collage come home and surprise them with the real me?

Well, Honey...that's a tough call!

Do you plan to transition during school?

I think that what you REALLY need to do is get to a trained gender therapist and find out where you're truly at before you go surprising anyone with announcements!

That is the best way, then you'll know exactly where you're at!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Dear Emmy,

Donna Jean has given you some very sound advice a gender therapist is a good first step.

When you do talk to your parents avoid any of the shock value if possible be sure to emphasize the benefits of become your true self and downplay the frightening aspects they will bring up a lot of 'what abouts' for you so stay positive but let them know that you have thought about them and know that the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Keep smiling and you will do well.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I will second or even third the suggestion of a gender therapist. They can help in so many more ways than identifying any gender condition you may have, they can be a wealth of information and guidance in how and when to come out to various people including parents, employers and i would imagine university staff.

[Guest erikka2046]

Hi Emmy,

I totally go with Donna's suggestion. See a therapist first, stay positive can help a lot. Other than acceptance of your family, leaving country, start a new college will be the issue you have to deal with, having professional advice can hopefully solve these and your gender identity issue.

Luv

Erikka

[Guest AlexanderG]

Not that I'd know from experience, but I'd say that springing a surprise on them would not be the wisest course to take.

Furthermore I guess I can only say what my plan of action will be (if it comes to that), which is to drop some eggs before I drop the bomb. My mother knows I'm seeing a psychologist to 'work out what it is that makes me so... different;' my name's already changed (unisex), my hair's too... I guess that all's hard to do when you're out of sight from your parents. But - and I don't even know, maybe you have been giving off bright-light hints for years already - to ease them into it ... I guess that's my penny's contribution here.

Good luck!