Diving In Headfirst?

[Guest AlexanderG]

OK. Sorry guys, I just keep posting like a madman but there's so much going on. Which is my own fault, I know.

I got in touch with a students' club that focuses on homosexuality and Christian faith. Open-minded and stuff, going out for drinks, discussions, et cetera. I asked if I'd be welcome as a transsexual boy, and I just got an e-mail in return saying, "sure! There was a transboy with us last year as well, no problem!"

So there I went analyzing;

On the one hand: why not? It could be a good RLT, being a boy in a social group, and I'm in dire need of some social contacts anyway because I tend to shut myself up in my room and sit behind my computer (which is fun but not necessarily healthy). My family and friends of old all live halfway across the country and would not accidentally find out or anything - so the risk of 'exposure' is zip. About people from school and such I'm not worried, at all. At best, I'll feel comfortable being me, make some new friends, et cetera. At worst - well, what? If I don't feel at home there's no strings attached.

On the other hand, though: am I not moving too fast here? Should I not take some more time to think things through?

I've had two conversations with a counsellor, and though part of me is still... hesitant to admit that something THIS size is something I'm seriously thinking about. I'm not out to anyone in real life (as the e-mail to my teacher bounced back), I have a first appointment with a psychologist next Thursday (about the combo ED/trans).

So some questions for advice!!!

1) Things moving too fast?

2) Is my worst-case scenario all too naive?

3) Should I make more clear my situation right now? As to not being out and such?

4) 'd You say go for it! or 'd you say 'make sure you're sure about stuff first'???

[Guest Fwip]

Alex, I think you've got a pretty good idea here.

I don't think I know any better than you how fast is 'too fast,' but your worst-case scenario sounds pretty dead on. The only thing I can think of is that perhaps you'll accidentally outed to your other new college buddies? but you may be planning to come out to them already. The people in your group though, I bet they'll be pretty understanding and discreet if you want them to.

If you find yourself not quite ready to go out with them as a guy, I think it's still a good idea to go as female. If you're attracted to women, you don't even have to tell them about being trans (though I think it would work out best). And if you're not, I still think you'd be welcome.

And by some chance, you end up attending for a couple weeks or months and then decide "Hey, this TG stuff just isn't for me," then you can tell them that you're having second thoughts - it's pretty dang normal to be confused about this stuff! But by then you'll have already made friends, and they won't hold it against you just because you've figured yourself out.

~Fwippy