Dad...

[Guest aadenr]

So I came out to my mom already, but now I have to come out to my dad. :|

See I'm going to see a gender therapist. My dad has agreed to pay half (he doesn't know the kind of therapist) and my mom has agreed to pay half. As you can see here, my parents are divorced. But anyway, my dad called me today and asked me why I can't use the psychiatrist at the place we go so he doesn't have to pay, and I explained to him that psychiatrists prescribe medicine, and I don't want medicine. So then he was like, don't they have therapists there, and I said, "They do, but not the kind I want." So he was like, "Well what kind do you want?"

Then it got hard, because I couldn't just say, "HEY DAD ITS A GENDER THERAPIST!" because then he would be like who, what when, where, why, if you get my point lol. I'd have to explain the whole reason of the gender therapist. So I just quickly said, "Dad I've been meaning to talk to you anyway." And he got quiet. So I quickly said, "But not on the phone." So he quietly said, "Oh, okay. When could we meet?" I told him I'm off Thursday from school. He agreed. Then he said, "Is there something wrong with you?" And I said, "No, everything's fine." So then he said, "Okay" and said see you on Thursday. Then we hung up.

The reason I don't know how to confront him about it, is because my dad is those kinds of people that you just don't know. Like you want to believe he won't care, but sometimes your wrong. You just don't know the outcome of my dad no matter what.

Now my dad, when I was younger, has always accepted me being 'different'. If I didn't want girls clothes, he would say, "Then lets go to the boys." and would help me pick out clothes. My dad was very open, and cool about it. Even today he never says anything about the way I dress, or how I cut my hair. He'll just make a comment like, "You cut your hair." or "Nice shirt." Even when he takes me shopping (which is very rare) he'll say to me, "Get whatever you want, where ever you want." So thats a cool thing about my dad. So why am I not knowing how to come out to him? Its because my dad comes from a religious family. He used to be a Jehovah's Witness, so I'm not sure if he still follows some of those beliefs. I'm not sure if he is going to make a big deal out of it. Like my mom didn't make a big deal out of it, but she was sort of shocked, because there is a difference between dressing like a boy, and wanting to be a boy. My mom just thought I was a lesbian or something, and maybe my dad thinks the same thing but I wouldn't know. My dad just is weird...I'm hoping he'll be really accepting because of how he was with me when I was younger, and he never complained. My mom was actually the one who complained about me not being feminine, and she finally stopped now that I came out to her.

I just don't know...what do you guys think?

[Guest Jean Davis]

I think he'll be ok with it, perhaps you could explain that you are going to find out more and there are no definate decissions made.

And if worse comes to worse explain that you are not changing your soul just the vessel that it occupies.

Kinda like a little home reinvation.

But he sounds like he loves you more than his religion, and that's the way it should be.

You'll be Ok honey.

LUV

Jean

[Sally]

My therapist is always reminding me that I cannot decide for others how they will react.

Some will surprise you and some will disappoint but it is their decision based on their feelings so you have to accept it.

Do like Jean told you and remind him that this is to find out for sure because you have felt this way for a long time and you believe that it is what is going on.

The Gender Therapist is to help you find where you belong on the gender spectrum.

Just relax and see what happens, worrying about it will not change the outcome, just be positive so he doesn't feel like it is the end of the world.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest rachael1]

Your Dad probably already has an inkling so I don't think It will be a huge shock for him.

you can never tell how a person will respond however so you should plan the conversation beforehand and be ready for a really bad reaction and you might even be pleasantly surprised. Good luck on Thursday.

Rachael

[Guest aadenr]

Thanks. I'm really nervous D:

He's coming tomorrow morning, and he knows something is up

He is just really quiet when I talk to him on the phone now.

[Guest rachael1]

Your father is just worried and nervous about what you are going to tell him.

You never know he might even be relieved once you come out to him as there are far worse things than being transgendered.

I have already said it but good luck again anyway and I hope you sort everything out.

Love

Rachael

[TassieTiff]

Aadenr,

He will probably just be relieved you are not Suicidal or a psychopath or have Bi-polar or something...... Really.... Gender Dysphoria is minor in comparison..... Good luck handling the 'outing'

regards, Tiff XOXOX

[Guest aadenr]

Well I just told my dad, and he took it better than my mom. He didn't criticize me and said, "I always suspected it anyway." and told me to do whatever I feel is right, and not worry so much about what other people think. He told me he'll be happy to take me to my new therapist tomorrow, so yay! Everything is turning out great. I don't know why I stress over these things so much :\

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Doin' da happy dance

Glad it all worked out for you, in many ways it is so anticlimactic when they agree or dont raise the fuss that we thought they would. Hope you and your therapist get on well since it will be critical to your transition.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well I just told my dad, and he took it better than my mom. He didn't criticize me and said, "I always suspected it anyway." and told me to do whatever I feel is right, and not worry so much about what other people think. He told me he'll be happy to take me to my new therapist tomorrow, so yay! Everything is turning out great. I don't know why I stress over these things so much :\

Congratulations, Hon!

What a wonderful end to that stressful situation ....

But, you know, most times when we're worried over something, there is little we can do about it...it does it's own thing!

I'm smiling.....

Good stuff....

Feel better now?.....lol

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Well I just told my dad, and he took it better than my mom. He didn't criticize me and said, "I always suspected it anyway." and told me to do whatever I feel is right, and not worry so much about what other people think. He told me he'll be happy to take me to my new therapist tomorrow, so yay! Everything is turning out great. I don't know why I stress over these things so much :\

Sweetie,

It is very natural for one to be worried over what someone's reaction might be when they come out to them. Interestingly, many people are not surprised when you do come out to them. They kind of knew all along. I am so glad that you did come out to your father and mother and that they are both supportive and are helping you too

Thanks hon, I always love hearing good news!!!

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest aadenr]

Doin' da happy dance

Glad it all worked out for you, in many ways it is so anticlimactic when they agree or dont raise the fuss that we thought they would. Hope you and your therapist get on well since it will be critical to your transition.

Thanks, I'm really excited too transition!

Congratulations, Hon!

What a wonderful end to that stressful situation ....

But, you know, most times when we're worried over something, there is little we can do about it...it does it's own thing!

I'm smiling.....

Good stuff....

Feel better now?.....lol

Donna Jean

Yeah I feel so much better now. Thanks, its a big relief.

Sweetie,

It is very natural for one to be worried over what someone's reaction might be when they come out to them. Interestingly, many people are not surprised when you do come out to them. They kind of knew all along. I am so glad that you did come out to your father and mother and that they are both supportive and are helping you too

Thanks hon, I always love hearing good news!!!

HUGS

Brenda

Thanks! It always makes me feel better when they kind of knew already, because then it doesn't sound 'weird' to them.

[Guest Oasis]

I'm jealous. I honestly doubt either of my parents would take my coming out well. My dad is simple minded retired military and my mom is a worthless waste of space who seems to be able to convince people that she actually cares about me (but in reality she's a manipulative witch only out to use me to make money and has not once been supportive).

[Guest rachael1]

Well I just told my dad, and he took it better than my mom. He didn't criticize me and said, "I always suspected it anyway." and told me to do whatever I feel is right, and not worry so much about what other people think. He told me he'll be happy to take me to my new therapist tomorrow, so yay! Everything is turning out great. I don't know why I stress over these things so much :\

Well done!

It is natural to stress over things of this magnitude, I would be worried if your weren't

Hugs

Rachael