Coming Out
A place to discuss coming out to family, friends, and co-workers.
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By Frozenknyte · Posted
I told one supervisor person and he didn’t offer to put a note in like he did last time - like that’s what grinds my gears I’ve already stressed about this since day one idk how this happened. Sucks seeing a whole week not scheduled. So instead of stressing about calling the one who does schedules messing up my sleep cycle I just left a simple note on her desk ‘ can you please give me 2 days a week’ and I hope that’s ok -
By Tilly · Posted
Hi JR, Thank you for these questions and your honesty in sharing about things that have happened. You and I have had a similar background. So, I had a bilateral orchietomy (orchidectomy) six years ago and I did so for the same reasons you said. The anti-androgens were horrible things in my opinion. For me, just for me personally, really nasty drugs that did me quite a lot of damage, cause ill health, and at one point even nearly killed me. So I went ahead with an orchi. My libido since then has continued but it's less aggressive: more of a slow hum. A lot depends on your levels of estrogen. If you are kept in pre-menopausal natal female range then you'll likely still have arousals but, if this is like me, they will be a lot less intrusive. Don't expect that to happen instantaneously by the way. For the first few weeks after the orchi my libido shot up - my body was adjusting to life without testicles. Then it settled and now I'd say it's typical of a natal females. It's there but it's not aggressive or intrusive. It's a very comfortable and happy state. None of the above should pleased be used to influence your decision. Although we share a similar background in our childhoods (horrendous in my case and doubtless in yours), that doesn't mean treatment is the same. Only you, your therapist and / or medics can make that call. Good luck with it and please keep us posted? xx -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
Herzlich willkommen, Alessia. I don't speak German but Google Translate usually works well enough. I know how hard it is to talk about something that you have kept so well hidden for so many years. But you are in a safe place here, and among friends. So thank you for opening yourself up to us. You will find that many here share some part of your life story. Your father sounds much like mine - and he was also from Germany. Please ask whatever questions you might have. We will do our best to answer, even if we have to do some research to get you the right answers. HUGS Carolyn Marie -
By Tilly · Posted
Hi Christina, Great questions and post! I've been using Sandrena gel for a few years, morning and evening. I've learned quite a bit about it along the way but Charlize is right that some or all of your questions are best answered by your doctor. That's particularly true for question 6) about dosing. So anything I put here should please be treated as non-medical and anecdotal. However, here goes. I really like the sandrena gel. I like the steady state estrogen it gives me and I feel very adjusted to it. I mention this because I had serious fluctuation issues with injections and I am very glad I'm no longer taking pills because of liver concern (I know you're also taking progynova) and clotting. The gel seems to be a very safe method. Personally I haven't noticed much difference as to where it's applied, with the exception of the abdomen. If you put it on there, which the leaflet says to do sometimes, then I am not convinced it does absorb so well because of the fat. I may be wrong about that so it's just my experience but my levels dropped when I applied it there. Otherwise I doubt inner or outer makes a lot of difference if you've got good circulation and you're fit. I expect the inner thigh is proposed firstly because that's where your femoral artery runs and secondly because you're less likely to rub onto someone else or something else. I am due blood tests a month from now so I can update on that but my levels have been good with outer thigh. So ... I apply morning to the outer thigh and then in the evening I apply to the arm on the opposite side of my body. This is partly for practicality: in the morning I'm sitting up in bed for half an hour or so with a coffee so it's ideal. In the evening I may be anywhere, and applying to the arm is easy. I always exfoliate, or rather, I have a lady razor in my shower and almost daily run this over some part of my body or other. It's not that I'm hairy, I just like smooth skin. And natal females do also use razors I've not encountered any issues with this. So basically I shower first thing and then apply the morning gel. I have two showers a day because I always have a workout in the middle of the day. Whatever the leaflet says, I do spread it a over good open hand width (two small closed hands) - so a reasonable area. I guess maybe 4" x 10". I don't think I'm allowed to tell you the dose (am I?) but it's not just one sachet in the morning. I do slightly rub it in. I was advised to do this, whatever the leaflet says, and it undoubtedly helps it to dry more quickly. When I say 'slightly' I mean just enough to stop it looking like I've lathered myself in turkey fat but it's still a thin film or sheen, and still very tacky. I have to say that although occasionally I've had to put clothes over the top after 10 minutes, and the leaflet says this is fine, I try not to. Usually I don't cover it for half an hour, especially in the morning. And I don't shower or bath again for at least six hours. I hope some of this helps? xx -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
Thanks so much for all the good work you do here, and for our community, Vicky. Big congrats on another anniversary in this fine place. HUGS Carolyn Marie -
By Alessia · Posted
Vielen lieben Dank Thank you for the lovely lie about my english I really appreciate it. I am eager to meet my fellow german speakers and I am already making lots of progress I guess. I will keep trying to sort things out this is why I have to write some letters and eventually make some dates with specialists in my city to observe my situation. I am glad I finally trust my inner voice. About the close friend that will be a tough one but I hope I can tell him about my feelings and thoughts. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Herzlich Willkommen! 🙂 I don't have more than a few words of German, but your English is quite good. We have some other members on this forum who live in Germany, and I'm sure you'll get a chance to talk with some of them. The cool thing about being on here is that there's lots of people from around the world, of different genders and cultures and ages. It is a good thing to have a close friend that you can talk with. I hope that you are able to improve your life and feelings and find peace. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
I don't have much relationship experience outside of my current family....and nothing real before age 26. But from what you describe, here's my take: Your GF probably shouldn't be talking with somebody in a seemingly romantic manner behind your back. But how far she has been going is kind of an unknown. Perhaps there's an innocent explanation, perhaps there isn't. You don't know. She handed you her phone, so either she didn't think you'd go through it or she legitimately thinks she's being honest and has nothing to hide. You don't know. So, there's two major unknowns and I sense quite a bit of anger and mistrust. No matter who is right or wrong, does that sound like a healthy environment for either of you? Since your first sentence mentions her as your now "ex" girlfriend, is that something you regret? If she's not in your life in a romantic way, is there a need to continue feeling angry, or would it be better to find a way to move on and forgive? -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Maybe, but maybe not. I know a city near me in my deep red state where it could happen. Although it is just as likely that there wouldn't be any demonstrators from either side standing outdoors, as most folks are too busy working. I wonder if in the areas where one of the sides is more in the minority, that minority is more vocal. At least around here, it is the minority of loud radical leftists (and less often, loud ultra-right supremacists) that usually create the conflict and disorder. Perhaps California has the same issue with a minority of loud right-wingers? I think there are folks who believe that volume makes up for lack of numbers. -
By VickySGV · Posted
Oh heavens, 12 minutes away from my house. I think more will come out on this, and I do think the ones with the fists deliberately came to make trouble and show it off. When they pan out on the shot though, the actual number, while violent were small. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
@Willow Wow. That's some difficult stuff to process. I hope the family has strong bonds and a good support network. Whether the overdose was accidental or not, taking large amounts of a substance usually is intentional for some reason or other. Folks typically don't do that because they're feeling good about themselves....and its a sad thing when it ends badly. I know puberty is a mess for just about everybody, but it is triply messy for those of us who don't know what we are, can't figure it out, or know for sure but can't do anything about it. I wish our society could approach adolescence with a bit of flexibility. People are seldom the same at 18 or 28 as they were at 13. -
By VickySGV · Posted
That is what my Profile says is my Joined date for the Forums. I went back and found my first post in the Introductions Forum. What an adventure, and the Members and staff here have made this a special place for me ever since. Somewhere in that time I got asked to be a Moderator and most recently one of the Admins. WOW, both a significant responsibility and sometimes a totally heartwarming and uplifting set of feelings. Thank all of you for taking part in the Forums and letting me be part of your lives on your paths of discovery and growth. -
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By Carolyn Marie · Posted
The only difference between this scene and one in a deep Red state, is that in a Red state there wouldn't be any pro-LGBT demonstrators outside the school board meeting. BTW, Glendale is considered a "very liberal" city as far as voting. I therefore think quite a few of these folks were from outside the area. Carolyn Marie -
By VickySGV · Posted
One of our maxims here on the Forums is that IF you have any questions at all about your gender, you are NOT Cis Gender, and thus Trans Gender. What we can't say is exactly what you are under the Trans Spectrum, that is a journey for you and a therapist to go on and discover. Where are you going to take your Trans self to be comfortable and authentic is the real question. It can be as little as the decision to be less like your birth gender's expectations of behavior, profession, trade and possibly your family care role. These are mostly a matter of attitude. They can go to complete Transition on the other end. Give yourself permission to act as you feel without shame and you are on your way. Stick around, read what is here, find a Gender Therapist, don't overthink life or try to be what is uncomfortable and BE YOU.
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