Friendship

[Guest Cj Marie]

i am wondering for those that have either "come out" or have transitioned how that has effected your circle of friends.. I realize at first for some being around others with similar situations bring us comfort, but has your overall friendship circles changed?

When i started to "embrace" myself and so much confusion of my future caused me to share my struggles. Near the begining i was befriended by a complete stranger, who was a young college lesbian. I at this point can not speak to how much i owe her not only for our friendship but of just acceptance at a level that almost seemed as if i were no different then her. Although when a person "hangs" with lesbians you can not help but start to travel in lesbian circles. She is my best friend, and she has never wavered from accepting me as another woman in her life, but others accepted me as "open" as a person not really as a woman. Being in a transitional state the feeling of belonging to a biological group can be hard.

Also what fueled our friendship is my new outlook on life, as if released back into my youth, she is 13 years my junior, and the same with most of her friends... Something i have also wondered about was being not very social before and trying to understand adult friendships.... totally different then that of youth.

It also changes the dynamics of going from a man/woman marriage to that of a transwoman/woman to now more of a lesbian couple relationship... Has anyone maneuvered this before?

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Marie,

For me, the more I understood myself, the more isolated I became. The "friends" I had were based upon some other person who I am not now. I am no longer married. I am slowly building a new set of friends who know me

Love

Brenda

[TassieTiff]

I was a High Profile PUBLIC figure in Sydney.... I had to burn all the bridges to make a clean start.... the people I knew and was friends with in Sydney never met Tiff.

In Tasmania I have a select group of loyal friends.... Most of them more screwed up psychologically them me... SO they are not exactly a Support Group... In Fact I seem to support all of them.

[Guest DeniseNM]

Well when I started coming out I wasn't really around that many of my old friends so I was making new friends at that point anyway. Some of the people I had just started getting to know stopped talking to me and all. I am fortunate that I have found a number of people who accept me as I am.

Denise

[Guest amie]

Evidently I've manage to attract and hold onto deep-feeling individuals over the years cause all the friends I've come out to support and accept me.

Granted, I've abstained from telling some of them and those are the ones I doubt would offer a warm reception on the matter.

But I know I feel even closer to those that know now and I've gathered they feel the same. It's a nice feeling.

[Guest Taki]

The experience was a little different for me. In middle school, no one was my friend. I haven't came out but the others knew right away (i would always wear mens clothes, so that would probably explain it) In high school, I came out to my friends and they accept me for who I am. In fact, from a get together with another person like me (thank my awesome school counselor) now they're friends too.

[Guest Donna Jean]

It also changes the dynamics of going from a man/woman marriage to that of a transwoman/woman to now more of a lesbian couple relationship... Has anyone maneuvered this before?

My wife and I have been married for over 30 years...

Our relationship has changed to more of a "girlfriend" dynamic...Room mates, as it were...

Yes, it's changed a lot....

And friends....

The ones that I've come out to so far have been VERY accepting .....

My old musical partner....we played together for years....Spent tons of time together ..Two guys...

I recently came out to him....

Now he loves Donna Jean and is very protective of me....

If I'm sitting an a couch with him, he'll put his arm around me....I love that!

And my female friends have taken me in and accept me totally. They give me tips on things to help ...

So far, so good....

Donna Jean

[Paula ult]

For me the dynamics changed and at the same time stayed pretty much the same, my bowling leagues are embracing Paula, as have most everyone i knew before, i have made lots of new friends, mainly from the trans community, my SO is over 20 years younger and FtM, but that difference does not seem to matter, and i know all his friends who around his age and i am accepted.

Paula

[Guest Melanieshaman]

I don't have many friends. The one I told is perfectly fine with it. He told he "it takes alot of 'testicles' to do what i am doing" LMAO

I have recently joined the local TG social club here... hope to make some friends there.

Mel

[Guest Yinyang Mist]

I love the dynamics in my life now. My girlfriend and I are like best friends more than ever before because we have more to share. I should admit I am blessed with someone who is accepting of all people regardless of gender. She has been a help to me in many ways by helping me or allowing me to learn more about myself and my feelings. It is much easier to feel at home and in comfort with this type of person or people surrounding you. Sad that many must leave behind old circles of friends once outed but to search for this type of dynanic even in your friendships might be for the better later on so that you can continue to learn about or simply be yourself without to much hesitation.

[Guest Cris]

I have a very small circle of friends. Always have....Im a bit of an intravert.....hmmm imagine that...anyways. the majority of my friends are accepting. My wife and daughters are not ok with it. Guess it really comes down to who has what a stake in the relationship.

Cris

[Sally]

I guess I would have to say that the dynamics of my relationships have changed - everyone I have told left me!

Sorry, but I have to tell the truth here.

I have my family who just say I am not trans - problem solved!

And the friends who I have not told along with the people at work who do not know - all of my real friends are here!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest angie]

All my friends except for a few gg friends, are all transwomen and

transmen.My ex band mate,Rich,is very accepting and loves to mess

with me about being on the other side now.My daughters and my ex

all accept me,while they may not like I am living a life of womanhood.

It was my daughters that took a picture of me,without makeup,and sent

it to me saying," See Daddy,even without makeup you look good."

Having not seen a soul since my coming out seven years ago,I have no

idea if my oldest friends would accept me the woman.My lead guitar player

and closest friend at that time,could not believe it when my wife outed me.

"Is this for real,you want to be a woman?" Once I affirmed the rumor,I haven't

seen him,but know he relayed the news to our old circle of friends and bandmates.

Being the frontman and soooooo dang masculine,no one could fathom why I would

want to change sexes.Virtually everyone of the women we used to know had the

same reaction,"What a waste of a good man."

Oh well,

Angie