Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Progress...


Guest Heather taru

Recommended Posts

Guest Heather taru

Hello everyone. First, thank you all for putting your knowledge and experiences on this site. I'm not sure what I would do without this wealth of information. Second, I am going to try to be more active in this community, both to pay back for the info on the site, and because I really need friends to talk to.

I have been going to therapy every two weeks since early June, and have made huge progress. I get my HRT letter on my next visit, I have an appointment with a TS friendly/experienced endo, and am making slow but steady progress down this difficult road.

My wife is still supportive, but there are times when I feel like she is going to leave me eventually. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't have any friends I can talk to, and feel so lonely. The immense stress of work, marriage, family, and money are combining with the stress of my transition. I'm hanging on, and knew this would be hard, but WOW.

Well, I don't know why, but I feel better having said that. Can't make friends by being shy and hiding. I know I haven't been here long or contributed much, but if anyone needs anything, I'll listen. I am a deputy, so maybe I can help with legal info or something.

Thanks again everyone.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

HEY! COME ON IN!

My wife has lasted a year now - gotta count for something. And I just hit year one today! It was the biggest roller coaster ride of my life!

And the people on Laura's - YES

You will do well to stay here and join in - we rant, we rave, we laugh, we cry, we advise and we support.

GLAD you are here

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Oh my goodness, Heather!

Sounds like you're in it for the duration as so many of us are!

Welcome to the club, girlfriend!

So, you're right on the edge of getting your HRT letter?...You're gonna love that...

I know of the stresses on you with relationships and work and money, believe you me!

It would be really nice if you joined in more here...I'd really like that ...just contribute what you can even if it's just a kind word or a pat on the back....OK?

A couple of us here on the site have been in law enforcement before..another Mod was a Aux cop for many years and I was a short time cop in Miami....

We'd really like to have you join when you want...

That would be nice!

HUGGS & LOVE

Donna Jean

Link to comment
A couple of us here on the site have been in law enforcement before..another Mod was a Aux cop for many years and I was a short time cop in Miami....

Hi Heather, and now you all know why 'Speed' dropped out of CSI: Miami - he left to transition in rural Ohio because Miami has so little to offer for the GLBT Community like in the middle of nowhere!

Seriously, we have all had problems in our relationships and some have ended but finally becoming yourself and living the life that you always should have is worth almost any price.

So do join in and we will take turns helping each other because that is the way things work around here.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
Hello everyone. First, thank you all for putting your knowledge and experiences on this site. I'm not sure what I would do without this wealth of information. Second, I am going to try to be more active in this community, both to pay back for the info on the site, and because I really need friends to talk to.

I have been going to therapy every two weeks since early June, and have made huge progress. I get my HRT letter on my next visit, I have an appointment with a TS friendly/experienced endo, and am making slow but steady progress down this difficult road.

My wife is still supportive, but there are times when I feel like she is going to leave me eventually. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't have any friends I can talk to, and feel so lonely. The immense stress of work, marriage, family, and money are combining with the stress of my transition. I'm hanging on, and knew this would be hard, but WOW.

Well, I don't know why, but I feel better having said that. Can't make friends by being shy and hiding. I know I haven't been here long or contributed much, but if anyone needs anything, I'll listen. I am a deputy, so maybe I can help with legal info or something.

Thanks again everyone.

Hi Heather,

Re transition you are doing fine. A letter re hrt means you are well on your way sister- but you know ????you should seriously

consider looking for a trans meeting to go to and form friendships with like minded people , this will end your "lonely dilemma" as these

meetings usually include social outings. About keeping in touch here , yes you should, as its good company and even better advice.

So Heather , keep in touch and think about those meets. Luv, Viv.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

"... another Mod was a Aux cop"

Yes - Auxs will run rampant if they aren't moderated.

I was never a cop but I did meet one once - his name was DIRK and he let me out of a ticket... and... nevermind...

Legal question? Can a cop date someone they meet speeding on the highway?

Oh my - TOPIC police coming!

So - yes, get active here on Laura's - and that includes PMing if you have questions or jus' wanna talk!

Lizzy

Link to comment
  • Admin

Heather, its great that you want to post more and get to know people. There are so many truly wonderful people on this site who

are here to help others, so please post all you need to, and someone will respond pronto.

You are making good progress, but I know how nerve wracking it still can be when there are others involved. I came out to my wife just

a couple of months ago and we are getting by OK, but you never know about the future.

You are in a big, loving family now, Heather. We'll watch over you and give you all the support you need.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Heather taru

Thanks everyone. I have looked, but am having trouble finding support groups that are still active in my area (jacksonville). I'll keep looking, though.

I don't know what is going to happen with my marriage. I love my wife, dearly, but I want her to be happy. I'm doing what I need to be happy, she should be able to do the same. I have decided that if she tries to leave, no matter how bad it hurts, I'm not going to stop her. I can't try to stop her without feeling like a hypocrite. I am just going to have to wait and see I guess.

On the other hand, three days ago my therapist told me she would have my HRT letter ready by the next visit...just thinking about that makes me all giddy. I can't wait...I still have to go to my 1st endo appt next month, but I know that I'll have my hormones soon enough.

Elizabeth - Cops shouldn't do that :) besides, you can't base a relationship off of that, then he would forever be able to make driving jokes about you!

Link to comment

Welcome Sister Heather,

My wife could not take the thought of me becoming a woman and kicked me out.

It has taken all of six plus years to finally win her understanding and acceptance.

If your marriage does come to an end,it doesn't mean the world will come crashing

down.Living without negativity has many rewards in itself,as we allow ourselves to

become whole,welcoming or true self,with an glowing and happy heart.Hopefully this doesn't happen for the two of you.But if it does,know there is gold at the end of the transition rainbow.I am living proof you see.

Soft Hugs,

Angie

Link to comment
Guest DeniseNM

Heather glad you found your way here and yes please do join in more, we are all friends and family here which means we are always here for each other. My advise about with your wife is that she is wth you and supporting you right now and just stay with that and don't go borrowing worries and problems from the future because they may not come about. Besides you have enough to worry about as it is.

Also remember that since you have friends here you can always talk to the ladies and guys here. You might also want to try and find your local LGBT center because most cities have one and they can be a big help.

Denise

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 189 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • MaryEllen
    • Susan R
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,080
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Nonexistent
    Newest Member
    Nonexistent
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Billie75B
      Billie75B
      (67 years old)
    2. Chloe Cloud
      Chloe Cloud
      (32 years old)
    3. Hannah Emma
      Hannah Emma
      (41 years old)
    4. Joan Arbour
      Joan Arbour
      (77 years old)
    5. Liz B
      Liz B
      (49 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      Sorry, the powers that be doesn't want me to post about my story, they recently blocked my user IP.. but that's okay I have support from the Lgbtqai+ community, they know the full story the truth of what happened.
    • Nonexistent
      Hello, I'm new to the forum.   I'm a 22yr old trans guy. I've been on T for 6yrs, and I have both top surgery and a hysto. I have meta scheduled for next January.   Despite being on hormones for so long, I still don't pass well. I'm 5'1" which I can't change, no matter how much I hate it. I try and work out every other day, but I can't afford the gym so I just do bodyweight. I have a little muscle on my arms and shoulders, and pretty muscular thighs. I'm skinny overall but I do have a big butt.   The only facial hair I have is on my chin, and it's slight. My face is feminine, though my partners tell me it's not. If it was masculine though, then I wouldn't get misgendered. I think they have a bias from knowing me well and liking me. I have been told by a stranger that I have a feminine face after they misgendered me and my partner asked what made them think I was a girl (which was embarrassing, I prefer to just lower my gaze and walk away and sulk).   My hair has not made a difference in the frequency of misgendering. I had it natural color (brown), but my partner wanted me to dye it silver on the top so I did. This time it came out kind of dark and has a blue tinge to it, which I dislike, but it will lighten up. But all the advice I've heard is 'don't ever dye your hair!' Which makes me think it's why I'm getting misgendered, but in reality the frequency is the same. The sides are short, top is longer and swept to the side. Basic trans guy haircut #01. It comes in the trans guy training manual (lol). But if a cis guy had my haircut, nobody would misgender him. So it's not the hair. And bangs look awful on me so this is all that works. I do also have rounded glasses, which I have heard not to do, but square ones look awful on me (trust me, I've tried).   I wear basic clothes, nothing special. I don't have a washing machine or dryer, so I have to go to the laundromat sporadically when I can afford it. So I have to rewear the same thing multiple times. I just wear a t-shirt and shorts usually. I have 1 pair of jeans, the only pair I could find that fits me (I had to get them from the kids section). I feel like I should dress like guys typically do around here (I live in Texas), maybe it will help me blend in. Though I don't blend in with dyed hair. It makes me self-conscious, but I would feel bad changing it now since my partner just dyed it for me.   I live in a conservative state, obviously, being in Texas. So I don't know if that changes anything regarding passing.   I'm just so sick of it. I was given the hopes that I would pass easily on T if I was just patient, but that's not the case at all. I don't regret going on T, because I do like the changes that I have, but I wish it would do more to help me. People try to tell me I pass well, but I don't think I can trust them when strangers misgender me. It's contrary evidence. It seems like they are lying to me, and I don't appreciate it. I'd rather have my feelings hurt than be lied to.   There's always cosmetic surgery, but I'm schizophrenic and mentally disabled so I can't make enough money to afford that since I can't work.   If it's unfixable, then how do you cope with knowing you will never pass? Is there even any way to cope? How do I deal with getting misgendered? It just makes me so depressed every time, even though I don't care what random people think about me. It reminds me I hate how I look and that I look too feminine. And that I'll never look the way that I'm supposed to.   (Please no toxic positivity)
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Snap On dealer impressed with me,have been paying off my new toolbox off.About $2,000.00 left on the payments left.Said he had to repo one last week,guy quit making payments on it.He hates deadbeats big time
    • VickySGV
      I am a little confused about the word in your title there.    Defamation is a variation I know about, and it is akin to Libel and Slander in meaning, and could be the object of a court action or a couple of types.   If you are referring to the act of denying or taking away your feminine gender, ie. they keep using masculine names and pronouns or referring to you as  a "man" or "man in a dress", then yes it happens to me on rare occasion and if it is online, I simply block the moron doing it or leave the group where they are doing it, and may or may not come back if the person is there.  When people are willing to learn about Trans Folks I do give what are jokingly referred to as Trans 101 or even more in depth classes to the receptive and accepting audiences.  I DO NOT however try to teach a pig to sing, which as they say sounds like hell and annoys the pig.  If someone is invalidating your gender, get away from them safely and FAST.    
    • Ivy
      My inner child likes to cuddle with Blahaj.  I know it's weird, but it works for me.
    • Ivy
      I'm not sure they can do this.  Not on line anyway.  LOL   Defamation?  Not that I personally know of.
    • KathyLauren
      It's a sign! 
    • Justine76
      Nice! I've found myself shopping around for astrophotography gear more than once but haven't taken the plunge yet. To close to a metro area to do it from my home.
    • Ivy
      It never occurred to me to be able to see them here in the south.   Maybe tonight if it's not cloudy.
    • KymmieL
      @Willow Oh, yeah. been on anti-depressants for years. Actually 2 different ones. Take them each and every morning along with my other meds. 
    • Ivy
    • Sally Stone
      Well, this last post brings my trans life up to date.  What happens from here is anyone's guess.  The next big milestone will be retirement, probably next year some time.  I don't think that will change things much for Sally because as I have stated previously, I am in a mostly happy place where she is concerned.    I do have a few more posts planned, as I would like to write in more detail about a few occurrences that were memorable to me.  Hopefully they will be of interest to others.    Hugs,   Sally  
    • Ladypcnj
      Has anyone been a victim of online defemination? and what to do about it?
    • Vidanjali
      Yes, this is very therapeutic. You are able to see different aspects of your own personality. There is the part which has survived life thus far through decision making and lots of trial and error. That part of you is your wise and capable parent. When you feel strongly identified with the scared child in you, you can turn to the wise parent part of you whom you trust to guide you. You have faith and trust in that part of you necessarily because it has gotten you this far. Naturally, we all have room for improvement and advancement, but you can only start where you are and try to do your best with what you have to work with and deal with. But by adopting this attitude, you see that wise parental part of you become stronger, wiser, and more steadfast and skillful. Then the child in you increasingly becomes more trusting and carefree. 
    • Susan R
      You want to hear coincidence? I just posted that and my neighbor just texted me and said she has been up early because there were Northen Lights outside. Then 2 seconds later I get an extreme weather alert. “We are experiencing Extreme Geomagnetic conditions observed and continued severe geomagnetic storms expected to continue through the weekend”.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...