Major Step, Major Victory For Me--a Big Deal?

November 8, 2009

Special Sisters,

This is the conclusion to my major dilemma on whether I had to give up my important volunteer position or not, due to my transition journey, posted here a few days ago:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...showtopic=13038

I'd asked the 2 women that really do all the work for the organization, who are full-time employees, for a special meeting to discuss whether I'd continue in the position or start making arrangements to step down and turn the job over to someone else. The core issue is whether my transition would bring potential embarrassment to the organization.

I told them we had set aside several hours minimum for the meeting and that, once we started it, we had to stay until it was finished. It had to be a one-part meeting and couldn't be stopped and then resumed later.

We all agreed that yesterday afternoon was when we would meet. We had some time together a little earlier, but not enough time to do what I wanted and they were very curious and continued to pump me for clues.

I decided that my approach would totally depend on how they really felt, not only about me personally, but about my job performance for the group--below average, average, really good, or what. After all, if we weren't really that close and I wasn't of that great a value, it would be easy to just walk away and I wouldn't need the big meeting after all.

My own personal feelings about them was I considered them very special friends and I've come to really love them, truly love them. Naturally, guys can't really discuss feelings like that with girls, so I didn't know where they were at.

So, with the opportunity at hand, I summoned up all the courage I had and just flat-out asked them--how did they feel I was doing at the job? Were there things they felt I could do better than anyone else? What did I bring to the table that others might not?

I was so pleased and literally overcome with joy when they both said that they believed I was one of the best they've ever had at the position (they've both worked there a long time) and was virtually impossible to replicate with a replacement. They felt the organization would take steps back if I left. They went on to say how deep and personal their feelings were for me. They both openly said they really loved me and we had a special relationship that they valued greatly. I was very close to tears. When that part was all over, they both leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. Oh, my goodness, what a rush of emotion I experienced. What a high.

Now, on to the hard part--the actual coming out, which I decided had to be done in total, all at once and complete. We had to settle this deal and risk that one or both of them was possibly homophobic or something and just couldn't deal with it.

So, we started the meeting. I opened with "I've been a crossdresser all my life". One of them smiled and continued to smile as I told my whole story. They both showed virtually no reaction, but just listened intently.

I finally told them I'm not a crossdresser at all, I'm really a girl. My physical appearance will start to change over time (it actually has a lot in the last year or so). I've lost about 15 pounds, where it didn't seem I had that much to lose.

So, after all that, I told my reason for wanting to step aside was to avoid embarrassing the group.

They both said, "hey, we're from the big city, we see this all the time. What's the big deal? We thought this was something really serious, like you had cancer or something."

Girls, I had to laugh at that. What's the big deal..... Yeah, what IS the big deal.

I now have 2 very close new girl friends. We continued to just do girl talk for quite some time after that. It was very obvious to me that we'd all just become a lot closer than ever. One of them, who just has no boobs and is very skinny, then told me she'd had a radical double mastectomy in the past and began sharing information I'm certain she'd never share with any man. What a great experience. What's the big deal--blew my mind.

So, sisters, when faced with many of the trials we think we have to overcome, remember this story and the final solution--what's the big deal...

I just cried for joy,

Yvonne

November 8, 2009

What a wonderful story, Yvonne.

I am so glad that all of that is behind you now and all of your fears were unwarranted.

I rejoice in all such coming out successes, it gives everyone hope for their own coming out and let's us all know that there are a lot of good people in the world.

Congratulations.

Love ya,

Sally

November 8, 2009

quote name='yvonne' post='126911' date='Nov 8 2009, 08:33 AM']Special Sisters,