How Anyone Can Set Up The Perfect Shopping Trip

[Guest yvonne]

I'm finally getting a little comfortable shopping, but have trouble getting things to match. My wife says my fashion sense leaves a little to be desired....

So, I called one of the better stores today, asked for ladies fashions and spoke to a nice lady. I gave her a brief overview of who I really was, where I was on my journey and said I needed help with some shopping. I asked her if this was a project that she'd be interested in undertaking or if it was something that made her uncomfortable. I told her that if the idea caused her discomfort, it was no big deal to me, I'd just call the next store.

She replied that it didn't matter to her one way or the other, that she was a professional and a customer was a customer. She asked me what I was interested in doing.

I said I'd like to get a casual outfit that looked nice and would let me "blend in". No problem, she said.

I said maybe a coat. No problem, she said.

Probably should have a purse, too. I can help you with that.

I was quiet for a minute, summoned all my courage (thanks to a recent post) and said that maybe I'd like to get a bra fitted....... She didn't bat an eye and said we have a professional fitter right here in the store and can take care of you.

Wooooooooohooooooo.. I got her name and told her I'd be there within the hour.

I met her and introduced my self as Yvonne. I was totally presented as a male, I don't have an outfit that's fit for outside, a good wig or decent makeup. She was very nice. We picked out some clothes and she had a special dressing room set up that was away from everyone. She waited while I tried everything on.

She helped my pick out all kinds of things. She said she'd finish and then turn me over to the bra lady. She'd already gone down and briefed her.

This clerk used proper pronouns at all times and made me feel welcome. When we were done, she gave me her card and invited me back anytime.

The bra lady measured me and brought a whole bunch of bras to try on (I hardly have enough to fit anything, but it was fun and she came up with some heavily padded stuff.) She was great, never batted an eye and also gave me her card.

So, wanna go shopping, but are afraid? Shoot, just call ahead and explain it. Find the right place and they'll treat you like a Queen.

All my stuff matches and looks great on me. I've tossed out a ton of stuff that didn't fit or looked great on the rack, but not on me. Not any more, I've got 2 friends in the business....

So, shop on, little sisters,

Yvonne

[Guest SusanKG]

Wonderful Yvonne,

Discount stores and mail order serve a purpose - mostly discount, not something to be taken lightly - but nothing takes the place of service. Usually the quality will be better as well, often durability will be better, particularly after several wearings. Congratulations on finding someone that understands service. It sounds like you detected no undercurrent of distaste either, sort of a I'll wait on you but I don't like it. All-and-all, a good shopping experience.

Be sure and recommend this store and these people when you can.

SusanKG

[Guest Anna_Banana]

This all depends on where you live and how bad the financial situation is for the store. In a predominately redneck area (like where I live for instance), I don't think I'd find a willing store clerk. One of my trans friends, for instance, was asked to leave a Deb (or some such store, I can't remember) when she requested to use a dressing room. She just barely didn't pass as full female, was outted as trans, and treated terribly as a result. However, I just recently went into a Journeys that wasn't making any sales and bought a t-shirt. I know I didn't pass because my confidence was nill and I don't have a female speaking voice. They treated me as a lady and made no harsh remarks. BUT I had to drive over an hour away to go to an upper class area as well. I don't think I'd have gotten this same service closer to home.

.Anna

[Guest yvonne]

Wonderful Yvonne,

Discount stores and mail order serve a purpose - mostly discount, not something to be taken lightly - but nothing takes the place of service. Usually the quality will be better as well, often durability will be better, particularly after several wearings. Congratulations on finding someone that understands service. It sounds like you detected no undercurrent of distaste either, sort of a I'll wait on you but I don't like it. All-and-all, a good shopping experience.

Be sure and recommend this store and these people when you can.

SusanKG

Hi Susan,

You're right about the place of the store in the marketplace. I was a crossdresser for many decades and I've bought stuff all over, most of which either didn't fit or looked awful on me. A lot of times, I wore it, anyway. lol A few times I purchased something really nice and it fit and looked great and that's real value.

I was very clear on my initial phone call when I explained that, if the person helping me didn't think it was enjoyable and fun, I wouldn't bother them. I told her I fully understood that the subject was difficult for some to deal with. I did stress that I'm under a Doctor's care (well, I'm close) lol, that this is a medical issue and I'm not a fringe wacko.

The first lady was very professional, did a lot of prep work in advance and did a nice job. We didn't relate, but she was good.

The bra lady, on the other hand, treated me just like one of the girls and we had a lot of fun. She'd have shown me bras all afternoon and I tried every one of them on.

At the last, I said I'd like some sleepwear, too. She walked me over to the really racy stuff and held up a little number that made my eyes bulge. I smiled and said, uh, no, I'm just a girl and want something comfortable to sleep in. I ended up with the softest flannel gown that's about mid-calf, pink, of course, with a pretty flower design. She apologized several times for her error in taste--several times.

I reassured her that it was no big deal, she was doing her job and just showing me what was available. We related. We stood and talked when I was done and she was in no hurry to get me out of there.

This all depends on where you live and how bad the financial situation is for the store. In a predominately redneck area (like where I live for instance), I don't think I'd find a willing store clerk. One of my trans friends, for instance, was asked to leave a Deb (or some such store, I can't remember) when she requested to use a dressing room. She just barely didn't pass as full female, was outted as trans, and treated terribly as a result. However, I just recently went into a Journeys that wasn't making any sales and bought a t-shirt. I know I didn't pass because my confidence was nill and I don't have a female speaking voice. They treated me as a lady and made no harsh remarks. BUT I had to drive over an hour away to go to an upper class area as well. I don't think I'd have gotten this same service closer to home.

.Anna

Anna,

You're right. I've never asked to use a dressing room before and this is my first time ever to try things on before I took them home. My first time ever that I bought clothes for ME, as opposed to someone I made up to buy for. I've not been treated well in some stores. I've actually smiled at rude cashiers and walked out without paying a few times (my way of saying, fine, be rude--hang it back up and find another buyer).

I expected to pay a lot and only be able to buy a few things, but a lot of the stuff didn't seem to be that much money, compared to say, a decade ago pricing. Quite a bit of it was also marked down substantially. This was a "middle upper class store", with a very nice environment and quality brands, but not the upper end stuff with prestige brands. I've shopped here many times before and most often been treated very well, but then again, I was shopping for my wife (birthday, valentine's day or some such BS).

Regarding the dressing rooms, the lady was very diplomatic about those and explained that I wouldn't be using the regular ladies fitting room, so as not to cause discomfort to their other customers, but she'd had one elsewhere set aside for me. I was fine with that arrangement. I said as long as I could try the stuff on, I was happy. There was only one mirror and I'd have wished for that to be better, but otherwise, she did great.

I'm very happy with my experience (elated would be closer), but the cool deals for me are: I shopped for me, got things appropriate for me, that should help me blend in and it all will be worn and used. Nothing tossed out.

Now, I'll be tossing out a bunch of stuff that didn't work from previous trips.

I'm feeling good about being me and becoming more comfortable with me. It's a slow process and it takes the time it takes, but I'm getting there.

My wife is getting there, too. For the first time EVER, I told her I'd been shopping and was proud to put on an outfit and model it for her. She liked it. Later, she showed me where some jewelry was that I could use. She even gave me a necklace she'd bought for her mother that her mom didn't care for and had returned. It's got a little (bitty) diamond in it. It's my first real nice girl jewelry. wooo

Yvonne

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

One thing I find odd, in the area of the country I live in is that none of the store help bat an eye when I come in and start looking things over. In the early days some of the people who worked the fitting rooms got a tad nervous but they soon got over that.

For those who dont know, I live in the SouthWest USA in a small conservative Hispanic town (not racist just facts). They are not all that open to those who they dont see as fitting the norm. I have reached the stage of my transition where I just go about my business as who I am and I guess they have got used to seeing me.

A lot of it is confidence, knowing who you are and that even in GG's there is considerable variation in just how well they actually pass, yet they are not questioned because they all know they are women.

[Guest erikka2046]

That's sounds wonderful Yvonne I feel like to pick up the phone and arrange a personal shopping now

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Oh Yvonne, thank you so very much for posting this! I have been struggling with shopping by myself for women's clothes, calling the store ahead of time and asking to speak with someone in the women's department makes so much sense. Last time I went into a department store on my own for clothes I ended up picking the wrong size, was too nervous and did not try it on in the store. I recently just bought a top and some panties online instead of going into the actual store. Your suggestion has really changed my mind about shopping. Usually when I use to shop for men's clothes I would ask for help to shop for the things I wanted due to being visually impaired. Why I have not thought about your suggestion before I don't know. Thank you. :-)

Hugs,

Suzie