Hello I Am New To This Site

[Guest Jonie]

Hello I am Jonie.I go ever where in my town dressed as a female. I never have seen any other girls like me out. except at the night club and it seems like they what till it is almost time for the place to close before they get there. why is that.

[Sally]

Jonie,

It is probably due to fear, fear of being found out before they are ready, fear of being abused or ridiculed, but it is almost always fear.

Fear of not passing gives us a lowered self image and almost non existent self esteem.

You have conquered your fears and are living your life on your own terms, some of us just lack that courage.

You can help so many others with your stories about what you do as you go through life in your true gender, please do tell us more.

Maybe you can help us to live the way that we need to.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jonie]

Jonie,

It is probably due to fear, fear of being found out before they are ready, fear of being abused or ridiculed, but it is almost always fear.

Fear of not passing gives us a lowered self image and almost non existent self esteem.

You have conquered your fears and are living your life on your own terms, some of us just lack that courage.

You can help so many others with your stories about what you do as you go through life in your true gender, please do tell us more.

Maybe you can help us to live the way that we need to.

Love ya,

Sally

I will do that that sounds like a good idea

[Carolyn Marie]

Jonie, I think Sally is correct. Fear plays a big part in the decisions CDers make in where to go

and what to do.

You are a brave woman in your decision to go wherever you want, and I admire you.

Just remember to be careful out there. There are plenty of people who don't like us

and fear us, all for stupid reasons. But we all have to be careful about where we go.

I don't want you to get hurt, Hon.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

I agree with my sisters here on the reasons they show up late....

All that I want to do is add that one must be VERY caerful while out and about ....there are so many that are less than accepting and even take us as a threat to them (?) but, it's true....

So, Sweetheart....please, please be cautious out there.....OK?

Good..

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest Jonie]

I agree with my sisters here on the reasons they show up late....

All that I want to do is add that one must be VERY caerful while out and about ....there are so many that are less than accepting and even take us as a threat to them (?) but, it's true....

So, Sweetheart....please, please be cautious out there.....OK?

Good..

Love

Donna Jean

I do believe that to. I am cautious and alert when I do go any where that I go. I try to not let my guard down just for that purpose. I am just glad that I can honestly say that I have never had any body say any thing bad to me so far. I will have to say there was one time some one said something to his friend about me.his friend looked at him dead square in his eyes and said that is why it is called America land of the freel that really felt good for that to happen.

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Hi Joni and welcome. I agree with my sisters here in that it is fear. Fear of being ridiculed, found out etc.. I'm glad you are able to live 24/7 as the woman you are, please stay cautious though and do not let your guard down for one minute.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest Anna_Banana]

As everyone before me has said, its FEAR that gets to us. It's a dangerous world out there. People like to take advantage of us unsuspecting, innocent individuals. Nightclubs can be especially dangerous for trans people, especially when alcohol and drugs come into the mix.

.Anna

[Guest angie]

Ho Joni,

Angie here.Congratulations for making the choice to live your life honestly.

As a very good friend of mine told me right when I started RLE/RLT is to...

Watch your six.Which means is to do like you do all ready and always be

aware of your surroundings,especially who may be coming up behind you.

But I think that that is a female habit of self protection all women use anyway.

You will notice other ladies as you get out and about,as we develop what some

term,transdar.Which means we can spot another woman like us.I have made

some friends by being forward enough to make a comment that I am one of

us too,a trans woman.While you have to use your judgement on approaching

another of your sisters,it can be very rewarding if it strikes up a friendship.

I am a very out woman and love living everyday as my true self.And if you

do get made or outed,it is really no big deal,it happens.You blow it off and keep

doing what you are doing.Fear is good as it can save our lives.But don't let fear

stop you from living a fulfilling life,by letting it rule your life.Welcome to our

corner of the world,where you are loved supported and cherished as another

of our many many sisters.Welcome to the Playground.

Big Hugs and a Hearty Congratulations for your Courage to Live Life Honestly.

Angelique Michelle...or just plain ol Angie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Jonie,

Having been in that scene in my past, I think that it is simply coincidental. I used to frequent a club and did not wait until almost closing time to arrive there. Sometimes we would deide to hit another club later, which of course was nearer to closing time.

I don't go clubbing anymore, for many reasons.

Love

Brenda

[Guest julia_d]

The last minute clubbers are the crossdressers.. the t-girls go somewhere else entirely... It is quite possible you are alone.

[Guest Jonie]

The last minute clubbers are the crossdressers.. the t-girls go somewhere else entirely... It is quite possible you are alone.

You know some thing I never thought about it that way that is probably it

[Guest angie]

You know some thing I never thought about it that way that is probably it

We have three or four clubs that the trans girls go to.The reason so many go to the clubs so late,

is that tends to be when the drag shows are.There is one club in particualr that is filled with our

sisters.But there is so much cattiness and competition among the girls,that I do not like to go there.

I went once and just sat in a corner,watching the parade of Tgirls and their admirers.One girl,a

pretty young thing,walked up and asked if I was aware that there is competition among the girls?

Being new to the scene and knowing no better,I answered,"Not that I'm aware of." She huffed

and turning on her heel,strutted away,incensed at seeming to be blown off by myself.(grin)

So I guess what I am saying,is watch when and where they have a drag review.That way you can

get an idea of the girls in your area.You will know which ones are drag queens by how over the

top they tend to be.

Angie

[Guest krisspykriss]

I live in a small town of ~5,000 people. I believe I am the only one in town. There was a young trans woman that lived here shortly, but that was just for a few months then she moved on to a bigger city with more diversity and opportunity. I don't get too much static. I go out locally dressed androgynous though rather than girl mode, but I am obviously effeminate and they mostly think I am a femme gay guy unless they know me. Locally I stay out of the redneck bar (usually) but go to the Legion and Elks clubs. I am not sure about how i would be treated in girl mode though.

When I go out on a date, I go to Indianapolis. There I go anywhere else a woman on a date might go: museums, restaurants, bars (gay and straight), the mall, movies etc. I go to a gay bar once, maybe twice, a month. This is primarily to meet girls from our tgurl group. I have found that usually most of the tgirls go to specific bars. Like in Indy, they go to two bars that do drag shows and one that is a pub with excellent food. Others have drag shows, but they seem two like these three. Sure you might see one or two at other bars, but not like at the bars they seem to like.