Ugh, Embarassment

[Carolyn Marie]

I had ordered several items from a catalog company and had problems with delivery and

backorders. I traded e-mails with their service rep and was still having issues. But I

expected to resolve it via e-mail.

Well, they decided it would be better to talk to Carolyn directly. I can't argue with that logic.

So they called me at work.

Naturally, I answered the phone in my male voice and male name. The company rep paused,

and asked to speak to Carolyn.

Oy vay! I think I turned pale as a ghost sitting in my cubicle. All I could think of to do was say,

"this is Carolyn" and modulated my voice as best I could.

We continued the conversation and resolved all the issues, and she was very kind and very professional.

But I just felt outed and embarassed.

I'll get over it, but I guess that's part of the process of transition. Sometimes they catch you unawares.

I'll just have to learn to deal with it.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

OMG, Carolyn......

*ahem*

sorry for having a laugh at your expense, but I was just putting myself right beside you for that call....

And, Sweetheart....that was funny....

I know...I know...getting caught off gaurd is disconcerting at best...

But later you can appreciate the humor in the situation......

Well.......can't you?.......lol

Ok....ok...ok....

I'm sorry for laughing out loud.....

(but not for smiling!)

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest mia 1]

Yeah what a surprise did you start sweating and get dry mouthed thatr happened to me when I signed off to one of my associates and wrote Mia.and then the send button and uh oh and I had to laugh.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Ok.....ok....ok......

If it'll make you feel any better.....

I was sending an on line purchase order to Siemens Energy.....

At the bottom I typed in "Donna Jean _ _ _"

I hit send....

Couple hours later I printed out a copy for my file....

I saw "IT"....

Oh My Gawd!!!!!!!!

Never a word since... though....I was sweating bullets for a week....

Ok, CM........now YOU can laugh!

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Oooops

I know exacly how you feel hon. I have done the very same thing myself too.

Love you

Brenda

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Carolyn,

I've heard it referred to as a learning curve. For me anyway, I'm not sure how anyone can call a pretty much flat line, a curve.

But I did get a slight bump up in it once. After some near misses on orders, I thought, Aha! I know, I'll just use a first initial and last name. Then I can always come up with some story if it comes to a phone call.....I'm sure....I hope....just please don't let there be a phone call.

Now look on the bright side. How many of us will continue writing 2009 after the new year? You're already writing Carolyn now! Which means you're thinking Carolyn now. How cool is that!

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest CJwar]

Wow...that really sucks. I do the same as thing as Chloe...All my bills are in just C. and my last name, and so is everything I sign up for online as well. It's just easier, to switch when you find people calling to ask just for "C"...it's great, because they don't know who they are looking for male or female. However...

At work it might be different, harder...especially since know one else knows.. Try to avoid giving out your work phone number, just put your cell...and see if you can excuse yourself to a private area or something...

But other than all that, it's just embarrassing when they are expecting (in my case) a male, and then they hear that female first.

[Carolyn Marie]

I suppose this will someday go into my mental file as funny, and the first time

being "outed" as Carolyn. It scared me to death at the time, though.

I felt like I did when my dad caught me in a lie. I just wanted to crawl under my desk.

I'm glad the company rep didn't react in any way, and treated me as Carolyn for the rest

of the call. I think its possible that she had dealt with this kind of thing before.

I'll file this incident under the category of "Comes with the Territory."

Thanks, Dee Jay! I do feel better. I'll laugh about it tomorrw.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Kayliegh]

Well CM, it happens to all of us!

I had ordered a wig and they said it would be here in three days. After five days I called, and they were not as polite as the woman you spoke to on the phone!

We all learn our lessons, but in the end, we can laugh at them!

Love - Kayleigh

[Guest N. Jane]

Oh but voice can be such a FUN thing!

My natural voice is very androgynous and can be taken for either, which is how I immediately recognize a solicitous phone call at home - they don't know which to take me for. Once they have picked a pronoun, I start letting my voice drift the opposite way and see how long it takes them to switch gears. Once they do, I head off in the opposite direction! (I'm a nuts, I know it LOL!)

[Paula ult]

Before i was out to my manager a couple of times on the phone i almost said hi this is Paula, now that would have been awkward, of course now he knows it makes no difference.

On the phone i say hello in my female voice then depending who it is go to his voice or stay in my female voice, it is handy for getting rid of solicitors, when they ask for k____ i say sorry he is not here right now, they usually say we will call back when he is there.

Paula

[Guest rachael1]

Carolyn you must have been mortified!

I have been caught out when emailing a woman about delivery some new satin PJs, she was calling me Rachael and was quite friendly for the first two emails but the third was quite different the friendly banter was gone and she didn't use my name. It was than that I realised I hadn't changed my male name on the account settings and it was showing up on the email address! I felt horrible and it was all out of proportion to the event itself.

How much worse is it when you are actually speaking to someone on the phone.

I guess you will see the funny side one day.

I agree with CJ don't give out your work number next time.

Love

Rachael

[Guest doodle]

I did something just like that the other day. I have used the name Kelly for the last 30 years so I get phones calls on my cell from some trans folks everyone else on my home line except my doctor who has both. I work nights and I get up around 10:30 am. The home phone rings and I pick up a some deep voice asked to speak to kelly and I say half asleep I say you're talkeig to him. then I realize it is the trans women from my doctors office. there's a silence and I say it's her still silence then I say Oh, what ever. she starts laughing. than I start to laughing

kelly