College: Not So Accepting As I Thought

[Guest Anna_Banana]

Recently I had a conversation with my gender therapist (who also happens to teach Human Sexuality at the university I attend) about why there was no LGBT group at my college. She explained that back in 2004, a group had attempted to flourish but were so afraid of being attacked that they wouldn't announce where they would hold the meetings, only when. Anyone who was interested had to somehow find a member of the group and ask where the meetings would be held. Each meeting was, of course, always held in a different location. After an unsuccessful and fearful year, the group went by the wayside. I had found this knowledge very strange as many people, including on this site, have heralded college as the last bastion of hope for LGBT individuals. Over the course of a month or so, I spoke with a small number of students that I encountered in my classes in order to gauge their opinions about LGBT people. Recently, an ad was run in our school paper as part of a monthly section known as "Singles." The ad featured a tom-boyish lesbian and a gay crossdresser. One of my classmates brought the ad to my attention and expressed how sickening it is to have to see these two people every day, especially the crossdresser. This classmate also mentioned that others seem to have a distaste for this latter individual, being forced to see him daily at the transit stops. While this one individual has been the most verbal, other classmates of mine have also expressed disdain for the gay presence residing in the dorms.

I was shocked to hear this from the student body. Worse is the fact that some of the instructors even show a disliking for the LGBT community. While I can't remember any specific mentions offhand (not to mention the fact that the instructors are always very vague with their comments, never seeming to target a specific individual or group by name for fear of job loss and lawsuits), I've gotten the strong impression through what dialogue was given. All of this is a far cry from the extreme acceptance I've heard some people praise that comes with college. Now sure, I'll give everyone the benefit of the doubt and suggest that this could be a localized incident. But I'd like to make it known that I attend college in a very liberal area (though I won't give specifics for fear of being tracked down by predators). Most of the student body (for that matter, most of the county) votes Democrate.

Anyways, the point I'm making for all future college students, please be very aware. College isn't necessarily as accepting as people say it is.

.Anna

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

This is very surprising to me as well Anna, I can't believe a college in such a demographic area would be so close minded. Would you please consider PM me the college so I could do a little research into this school. I would think that this type of behavior is against the school charter unless it's a school based on a religious faith. Those schools generally have it written into there rules that the can kick out a person because they are gay or something that that religion considers sinful.

Please do be careful

Charlene Leona

[Guest julia_d]

Unfortunately this is the "real world" .. all the charters and rules in the world can't make somewhere safe and accepting. Closed minds are just that.. closed.

If a LGB group thought it was too dangerous to be even remotely out they must have very good reason. You are in a dangerous place, please take care and think seriously about changing college.

[Guest Donna Jean]

That is a bit disturbing...

I agree with you in the fact that universities would be assumed to be accepting of most ideas...

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when it makes another feel uncomfortable...well, that crosses a line...

I'm surprised to hear this....

I have to agree with Julia....maybe it's time to explore other options as far as another university....

You shouldn't have to feel threatened....

Good luck, Baby!

Donna Jean

[Guest meridian]

Anna, I wonder if it's possible that things might have changed at your college to the extent that an LGBT group might be more welcome now--even with the hurtful comments you've noticed. I teach at a commuter campus where there wasn't much of an active organized LGBT presence until recently. Now there is a club that holds events for the entire campus, and the student affairs office even recently sponsored a seminar on transgender issues that was very well attended. You might want to start small, with just a couple of friends, and see what develops. You shouldn't feel afraid on your own campus, and you should be able to find like-minded people to talk and spend time with.

That said, if you make some tentative steps and still find yourself still uncomfortable, you might want to consider transferring to a place where your identity and your needs are recognized and affirmed, even if only by a group of people. There will, alas, be bigots everywhere, but there may be another college where you would feel happier.

Love,

Meridian

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm not very surprised about the reactions of some of you classmates to LGBT issues. College students

reflect society at large, and certainly reflect the communities surrounding the college. There are apt

to be as many conservative students as liberal, as many close minded as open. Going to college doesn't

automatically turn one into a bastion of liberal understanding and acceptance.

That said, it is also quite likely that the few people you have encountered aren't reflective of the entire

campus. It is unlikely that formation of an LGBT support group would result in aggressive protests or

hate mongering, unless it was an extremely conservative institution. Few if any colleges would permit that

kind of behavior. So I think its worth a chance. You will never know until you try.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest julia_d]

I'm not very surprised about the reactions of some of you classmates to LGBT issues. College students

reflect society at large, and certainly reflect the communities surrounding the college. There are apt

to be as many conservative students as liberal, as many close minded as open. Going to college doesn't

automatically turn one into a bastion of liberal understanding and acceptance.

That said, it is also quite likely that the few people you have encountered aren't reflective of the entire

campus. It is unlikely that formation of an LGBT support group would result in aggressive protests or

hate mongering, unless it was an extremely conservative institution. Few if any colleges would permit that

kind of behavior. So I think its worth a chance. You will never know until you try.

Carolyn Marie

ever heard the words "you don't know how you are hung till you stick your head in the noose"

Things don't tend to change that quickly.. if staff think it's still ok to peddle hate attitudes then it's institutionalised.. Have a very careful and quiet look around and see what is really going on. The simple fact there isn't an lgb group out and open rings the alarm bells for me.

[Guest Anna_Banana]

While the school has no official affiliation to any religion, there is a strong Christian presence nonetheless. Several school/student-organized organizations cater to Catholics. I don't know if this has any bearing on the student body's opinion toward the LGBT community.

As for transferring, I'm one semester away from graduation. I think I'll just stay in the closet a little longer.

.Anna

[Guest CharlieRose]

That's a shame. If I went there I'd see about restarting the LGBT group. How else are you going to get rid of homophobia other than fighting it and educating people? (But then again, you're only going to be there for one semester, so...) It's VERY surprising to me that people there would be so unaccepting, because yes, they do reflect the society at large but in general the youth demographic is overwhelmingly supportive of LGBT people. In fact I know that's how a lot of repeal prop 8 campaigns and their ilk are strategizing. Get the college student's attention, get them in the voting booths, because if enough of them show up, gay marriage will be allowed.

In one of my classes, we're writing an essay on marriage. Myself and four others picked the topic of gay marriage, and every single one of us thought it should be legal, thought that being gay was not a choice, and thought that denying equality for those who are not that different from the rest of the population was downright cruel. It's not a huge survey, but, yeah. In my experience college age individuals are MUCH more open to LGBT people.

I guess the advice I would give to prospective college students is to make sure you check out the LGBT services, programs and clubs BEFORE you decide where to go. Email them, call them up, they won't mind. Having a supportive network, a place where everyone accepts you, can be invaluable.

[Guest Anna_Banana]

I guess the advice I would give to prospective college students is to make sure you check out the LGBT services, programs and clubs BEFORE you decide where to go. Email them, call them up, they won't mind. Having a supportive network, a place where everyone accepts you, can be invaluable.

Unfortunately I'm not very financially-endowed, so when it came to attending college, I had to follow the money. I was handed a very large scholarship and went with it.

.Anna

[Guest justCassie]

I'm in college and being out. I can say I've encountered my share of hate, and like you in a very liberal area. We do have a GLBT group though. It's helped me to realize that I can't make everyone happy. Does your school have a zero tolerance policy on hate speech?

[Guest viv]

Recently I had a conversation with my gender therapist (who also happens to teach Human Sexuality at the university I attend) about why there was no LGBT group at my college. She explained that back in 2004, a group had attempted to flourish but were so afraid of being attacked that they wouldn't announce where they would hold the meetings, only when. Anyone who was interested had to somehow find a member of the group and ask where the meetings would be held. Each meeting was, of course, always held in a different location. After an unsuccessful and fearful year, the group went by the wayside. I had found this knowledge very strange as many people, including on this site, have heralded college as the last bastion of hope for LGBT individuals. Over the course of a month or so, I spoke with a small number of students that I encountered in my classes in order to gauge their opinions about LGBT people. Recently, an ad was run in our school paper as part of a monthly section known as "Singles." The ad featured a tom-boyish lesbian and a gay crossdresser. One of my classmates brought the ad to my attention and expressed how sickening it is to have to see these two people every day, especially the crossdresser. This classmate also mentioned that others seem to have a distaste for this latter individual, being forced to see him daily at the transit stops. While this one individual has been the most verbal, other classmates of mine have also expressed disdain for the gay presence residing in the dorms.

I was shocked to hear this from the student body. Worse is the fact that some of the instructors even show a disliking for the LGBT community. While I can't remember any specific mentions offhand (not to mention the fact that the instructors are always very vague with their comments, never seeming to target a specific individual or group by name for fear of job loss and lawsuits), I've gotten the strong impression through what dialogue was given. All of this is a far cry from the extreme acceptance I've heard some people praise that comes with college. Now sure, I'll give everyone the benefit of the doubt and suggest that this could be a localized incident. But I'd like to make it known that I attend college in a very liberal area (though I won't give specifics for fear of being tracked down by predators). Most of the student body (for that matter, most of the county) votes Democrate.

Anyways, the point I'm making for all future college students, please be very aware. College isn't necessarily as accepting as people say it is.

.Anna

Gee Anna,

I found that interesting to say the least. If I had to guess though I would go with this being unusual rather than the norm re college life.

I attended college last year re work and noticed in the "rags" the LGBT scene was treated with the respect it merits / the usual news ,social info

etc. Never noticed anything worrying. I know we are far apart but students are students / all the same kinda folk imo. Having said that I would

keep an eye on things just in case . As far as the Catholic church is concerned, :angry: :angry: rather not go there, I just

cant forgive what they did to our children. Hope for better times at your place, luv, viv.

[Guest meridian]

One more semester? You can do it. It's great that you got the scholarship, and then after graduation you can keep your eyes open for a work or grad school situation where you will be more comfortable.

I wish you all the best!

Love,

Meridian

[Guest amie]

Boo! I'm sure I'm like most in that I'd love to think that most, if not all universities are a collection of some of the more open-minded individuals in existence, considering demographics and the fact they've made it to that education level, that is.

Where is this place?

No offense, but I couldn't help the sense of incredulity while reading this. I mean, if GLBT students can convene in a safe and peaceful fashion at the college in my hometown, one would think they could do this anywhere. The place isn't exactly cosmopolitan, but rather more like Mayberry, Ohio. lol

[Guest Sarinah]

I live right smack dab in the middle of conservative mid west america. I go to a public university that has a strong LGBT presence. I have been around campus for nearly 9 years now in various departments and have encountered far more LGBT supporters than discriminators. I think that college students tend to be manipulated by a few more outspoke persons and so an anti-LGBT mindset has probably been established by a few. I would be willing to bet that if the LGBT community at your school were to organize and step up more openly and actively instead of out of fear they could change that norm over the next 2 to 6 years. Of course I dont think it would be easy and it may very well have some danger to it.