Feelings Of Motherhood

[Guest AshleyRF]

I honestly never wanted kids prior to my transition. Now... all I can think of is having a baby. I see all these women in the store with their babies and I'm all of a sudden so jealous of them. I can just see myself holding mine and my wife's baby. I would so love to have a baby girl.

These feelings are constantly occupying my thoughts. I've even cried several times over the fact that I can never have a child of my own. Is this normal?

[Carolyn Marie]

Ashley, of course its normal. You are after all a woman, and most women at some point in their lives want children.

I have no idea how often it happens, or even if it ever does, but adoption seems within the realm of possibility. Attitudes and laws change,

and you can hope and fight for the right to adopt. Time is on your side. I hope you succeed, because I have the strong feeling that you

would make a wonderful mother.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest AshleyRF]

Hi Ashley,

Yes, I understand. To have another life grow inside you and to give birth and to nurture and love a baby, child, and adult - what a dream! This from someone who elected not to have children at all.

I have to put the brakes on my jealousy because it could become consuming - wanting to be something impossible isn't helping me. I have to focus instead on making the most of what I can do.

It's okay to dream some though - just don't be overcome by it.

Love, Kat

It's hard not to be overcome with it when you want it so bad...

[Guest viv]

I honestly never wanted kids prior to my transition. Now... all I can think of is having a baby. I see all these women in the store with their babies and I'm all of a sudden so jealous of them. I can just see myself holding mine and my wife's baby. I would so love to have a baby girl.

These feelings are constantly occupying my thoughts. I've even cried several times over the fact that I can never have a child of my own. Is this normal?

hello Ashley

Nearly 21 vears ago my partner gave birth to our son, I was in the delivery room and watched this miracle unfold

before me. I experienced a few emotions , love for my partner , respect and pride in her. But the overriding feeling I had that

morning was envy , I could hardly contain my envy , I so much wanted to be "her" bringing my son into the world. I have only

ever had MATERNAL love for my son and believe me I have cried so much over the years re same . I spoke at length to my

psychiatrist about this and his opinion was ...ok , love after all is love . Maternal love coming from the biological father, this,

believe it or not happens "outside " of our community. So Ashley , you wanting to be a mother is ok, and dont forget, your

body has been saturated in estrogen . Adoption ??, why not??, worth looking into imo , best of luck , luv viv.

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Ashley,

Raising a child is very hard work and to be a good parent takes a lot of dedication and commitment. Having said that it is a wonderful feeling to watch your child grow and in a way relive your own childhood at the same time.

I have an 8 year old daughter and love watching her progress as she stumbles through life.

Adoption is certainly an option for you or maybe you can find a sperm doner for your wife as this may be easier than trying to go through the adoption red tape?

I wish you the best in your goal towards being a mother.

Love

Rachel

[Sakura]

i know the feeling i started hormones long before the thought crossed my mind that i might want some children one day but now its far to late to go back and leaves me with an empty feeling that i cant quite describe the only thing that fills it or makes me feel whole at all are my nieces and nephews which my sisters seems to produce every couple of years

i dont envy them for it as its not there fault for the choice i made or the biological function that i cant preform in stead every time they are pregnant i feel like an exspecting mother i know its stupid but my nieces and nephews are the closest i will ever come to being a mother and when they are around or visiting me is the only time i am 100% authentically happy when they are here i run my self ragged to be there for them and with them and my sisters step back and let me have that little moment

when they are here i make thier breakfast lunch and dinner color with them make sure they brush their teeth and tuck them in at night with a bed time story when my sister and nieces left my house this last time i was the only one my oldest niece would let brush and style her hair and i was the only one my younger niece wanted to brush or style her hair also them standing there studying how i put make up on and telling me they hope they are as pretty as me when they get older just brings a tear to my eye like nothing else i could go on about my nephews but but i would need another 3 paragraphs and im starting to ramble any way sorry i do that when i talk about them

guess what im trying to say is you have to channel the motherly instinct best you can so the lack of it dosnt eat you up

Sakura

[Guest N. Jane]

From my earliest life I always loved children. I grew up with girls (thinking I was one), playing house, dolls (not mine, I wasn't allowed to have one), doll carriages, and all the normal stuff. I expected to grow up, get married, and raise a family.

By age 8, I realized I had a problem and by puberty I realized it was a SERIOUS problem. By 15 I knew I was never going to be a mother (nor a father) and I started pulling back from kids - it just raised too many feelings I couldn't deal with.

My sister and I were close in my early 20's and when she was carrying my niece I guess the whole thing effected me more deeply than I realized. At age 23 my niece was born and the first time I saw her was at a couple days old when my sister thrust my niece into my arms.

I wasn't prepared for the feelings that came over me like a tidal wave, all of the maternal feelings and instincts that I had been trying to avoid for many years fell on me like a load of bricks! It was all there, full-on maternal - heck I even let down milk! I gave my niece back to my sister and ran from the room in tears.

That was the beginning of the end for me. I couldn't go on any more. There was no denying or avoiding what I was any more and I couldn't even pretend to go on "deformed". I became seriously suicidal and if Dr. Biber hadn't rescued me a few months later, my life would have ended in January 1974.

I always hoped there would be children in my life but it never turned out that way - there was always a reason not to adopt "just then" and the right time never came.

Just yesterday I had been out for lunch with my best friend (of 25 years) and we had been talking about the recent medical developments in my life (the possible discovery that I have a uterus that I never knew about) and about children. On the drive back to the office she said "You always wanted children so much. I think you need closure - you should have a funeral for the children you never had." I lost it, right there in the car! So many tears! It took me awhile to compose myself before I dared go back into the office.

[Guest angie]

Many of your sisters wish we could or could have carried

our own babies Ashley.I often get these maternal feelings.

What pains me in my heart,is when I see couples arm in arm,

or his arm around her waist or shoulders in a caring and protective way.

This makes me long for a relationship,someone to share my thoughts,

feelings and bed with.It would fill me with a womanly fulfillment for

this to come to fruition.

Angie

[Guest ricka]

I think many of us share these feelings. And I must admit when I see pregnant women I feel a twinge of envy. I was in a relationship with a man and I wanted more than anything to be able to have his child. In fact we both talked about having a large family--like 5 kids and me being the stay-at-home mom. Our solution was adoption. I have always felt that I was blessed with female breasts to be able to breast feed and I dreamed of adopting a new-born and breast-feeding him/her. Many years ago I was a foster parent (functioning both as a mom and dad for 3 teenage sons.) It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.

ricka

[Guest Anna_Banana]

I honestly never wanted kids prior to my transition. Now... all I can think of is having a baby. I see all these women in the store with their babies and I'm all of a sudden so jealous of them. I can just see myself holding mine and my wife's baby. I would so love to have a baby girl.

These feelings are constantly occupying my thoughts. I've even cried several times over the fact that I can never have a child of my own. Is this normal?

Believe me, I know this feeling very well. Many times over the past few years have I cried over not being able to conceive (since I am genetically male). I've felt this drive since I was very young actually, but back then, it was less intense. I expressed this to my gender therapist, but her only recommendation was to freeze sperm for a potential mate. I don't have any plans of doing that because I want to have the baby, not some other girl.

.Anna

[Guest AshleyRF]

It has really taken by surprise... I never really thought I would ever feel that motherly feeling. I never thought I would feel a lot of the feelings I've had since starting HRT actually. I was honestly not prepared for the emotional changes of HRT. I welcome them for sure, but did not expect them. I really thought I'd have a little physical changes and some emotional changes but nothing this drastic. It's been a ride that's for sure.

[Guest Kayliegh]

Hi Ash -

While not where you are just yet, I can understand your feelings!

I think many of us who are TG want to have everything that we should have had, had we not been born the way we were.

You’re not alone in those feelings, and even if you can’t actually “give birth” to a child, you can always adopt and be the mom you want to be.

Love – Kayleigh

[Guest brenda lee]

I honestly never wanted kids prior to my transition. Now... all I can think of is having a baby. I see all these women in the store with their babies and I'm all of a sudden so jealous of them. I can just see myself holding mine and my wife's baby. I would so love to have a baby girl.

These feelings are constantly occupying my thoughts. I've even cried several times over the fact that I can never have a child of my own. Is this normal?

Ashley ,Sweetie ,Please don't worry I strongly believe that all of your sisters in the playground would love to be mothers ,some of had to be fathers . Personally I would have rather been a mommy .LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest Heather taru]

I know how you feel Ashley. I have cried many times over that. I see women who are pregnant and they seem so serene, so beautiful.

*sigh* Oh well ^^;