So Scared

[Guest viv]

Hello everyone,

Got this problem but NOT looking re medical advice as i know its inappropriate . A couple or so weeks back I went for my blood works re endo.

My Doc rang me and told me i more than likely have diabetes. He knows i am transitioning and so i asked him would diabetes stop me from continuing .

His answer to me was he was not too sure but sounded (really) very pessimistic / my jaw dropped and i thanked him re info, i hung up. From that moment on

my life collapsed in on top of me , i could not eat nor sleep , i had to walk off from my job as i honestly could not stop crying , i told the people i work with a

friend died (all i could think of) . I have never felt so hopelessly alone / i dreaded the thought of waking up if i did fall asleep , i did not want to wake up, ever.

I know Laura"s is here for us but my posts of late have been ..well , somewhere over the rainbow .if you know what i mean so i felt i could not do what im doing

now , i have just surrendered to my illness. i need to talk here, i am so frightened. There is absolutely no continuity to this post , my head is so all over the place

i cant make head nor tail of making sense. I managed to get into the chat rooms and got talking to a woman from Scotland last night and she told me she totally

transitioned with Diabetes and i should not worry but also said every one is different so i will just have to wait and see re my individual case. A small ray of hope

and i am clinging on to that. If my posts have bothered anyone here please ,please forgive me , if i breath my last helping one of us then my life will have been

good . I need so much now a shoulder to help me through this time . I go for a diabetes specific blood test next week , i know i show all the other signs but had

no idea what they were / i put it all down to lack of sleep. Well, there you go, thats me . need the time to fly in re someone who knows telling me one way or the

other what my chances are , i truely hope no one else i know has gone through this , i am numb .i am so scared. got to stop this now , will someone please say

hello to me . viv.

[MaryEllen]

Don't give up, Viv. If you do have diabetes, all is not lost. There's a very good chance, under proper supervision, that you will be able to continue with your transition. Think positive. Negative thoughts will only drag you down.

MaryEllen

[Guest viv]

Don't give up, Viv. If you do have diabetes, all is not lost. There's a very good chance, under proper supervision, that you will be able to continue with your transition. Think positive. Negative thoughts will only drag you down.

MaryEllen

Thank you Mary Ellen, the next few weeks will be a worry till the docs give me my news.

Oh my, it does"nt take much to to put "perspective " into our lives .

I just cant think of not continuing , its my life , i am a woman.

I know there are women worse off than me and my heart aches for them.

I never ever knew how deeply i was involved in my transition, there really is nothing else.

Thanks again for your kind words , you are a lovely woman. Luv, viv.

[Guest yvonne]

Dearest Viv,

It's alright, baby. Lean on my shoulder and just relax. Hug me tight, feel me hug back. Just stay there like that for a moment, then maybe a moment more. I'm really holding you right now and I'm here for you.

All right, you're facing a huge dilemma and a giant obstacle lies in your path.

I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you what I've done in the past that has worked for me and hope you can draw some inspiration from it.

In my early days in the work force, I was fighting terrible mental demons in the form of extreme mental conflicts with my own gender identity. The conflicts were so severe, I didn't even understand what was going on, due to my upbringing and training to be a "man's man". I couldn't concentrate, I was failing at life and was extremely close to being homeless and living in a box under a bridge.

I went to some counseling in college and my brain was so scrambled, so conflicted and so tormented, I couldn't even tell the therapist what was wrong. It was pure h*ll on earth if such a thing existed.

The only thing I could think of to do was to go to a book store and see if I could find anything on mind control. I started reading a little out of each book, until I found a book that moved me. I bought the book.

Reading this book on "positive thinking" did me a world of good. Basically, all those books tell you to close your eyes, visualize yourself (through your own eyes) as being where you want to be already. You need to do this just as you're falling asleep each night, as that's when the subconscious part of your brain is the most receptive. You're really slowly re-programming your brain.

Right now, you're convinced all is lost, so your brain is showing "movies" to you of your future failure. You need to get that projectionist out of the booth and find one that will show you as your future self: happy, vibrant, successful and looking and feeling the way you want to feel. You need to breathe deep, feel the tensions leave your body and have an overwhelming sense of peace come over you as you see, feel, touch and believe your success. Fall asleep with that vision in your head and, eventually, it will come to pass.

I had to read a little from the book at key points all day long. I read a little at breakfast, to get my mind going right. At breaks, at lunch, in the afternoon, before dinner, after dinner, before bed. I carried that book with me everywhere and whenever I had a minute, I read a little.

You're not reading the book so much to get the info and finish it, as you are to provide inspiration and hope to help you overcome this obstacle. The subconscious mind is extremely powerful and can do things that go well beyond the realm of science and even what you believe to be possible.

I finished the book and was a little depressed. I found another book by the same author, did the same thing. Pretty soon I'd finished all 7 of his books and was much better off. I found another author, finished all their books, and another author and another and another. I've now read nearly 100 books on mind power.

I've used this power to achieve the unachievable, attain the unattainable and could tell you countless stories of overcoming the impossible. It worked for me and it can work for you, but you must believe.

I'm working my magic for you now. The disease is NOT an impossible barrier that makes it impossible for you to transition, it's just an inconvenience. A mere obstacle in the road that must be navigated around, no big deal.

Believe it, accept it, find a book that works for you. PM me if you need to, I'm here for you, baby. I love you and really appreciate the support you've given me and I'm giving it back to you right now.

So, lay down, let the tension flow out of your body and feel a sense of calm overtake you as you realize this is no big deal. Many other girls just like you have successfully transitioned with the same or worse condition. It won't be easy, but it's not impossible.

Feel better? Good.

I love you and I'm working for you. Just help me a little and it'll be all right.

Yvonne

[Guest angie]

Good Morning Viv,

I know a whole lot of ladies that have diabetes and still transition.

I was scared out of my wits in 08 when told I may have lukemia.

I was told that if I did,I would have to stop transition.I was beside

myself with worry at the thought of having such a terrible disease,

while the thought of stopping my lifelong goal of becoming myself,

filled me with dread.Let me talk to the ladies I know that live with

diabetes and I will get back and let you know how they handled

being a diabetic and still transitioning.

Soft Hugs Viv,

Angie

[Guest viv]

Oh Ladies,

I just cant stop crying, Yvonne, Angie, I was just so convinced I would have to stop my transition, it was minute by minute

tearing me apart . I am so grateful for your reply and I am so small beside you all , you are my friends my heroes I dont deserve

such lovely people , Angie, I saw you commented on Namoli Brennet the other week or there abouts , she has this song *Find a Light*

and I kept playing it , i was constantly crying but the song i believe was giving me strength , just like my dear friends here. Yvonne,

I am so lucky you are here , I can feel you, thank you my lovely lovely sister, I will get through this. I sincerely hope i never have to go

that frightening stuff again, oh Angie , you must have been so terrified , and when i read your posts now , you are truly such a

beautiful person, no bitterness, just kind loving words . Thank you all , viv.

[Sally]

Viv,

I am so glad that you are feeling better, I was talking to a very dear friend who is no longer here at Laura's (she thinks that it will help her to go stealth easier if she isn't always on talking about before and transitioning - I don't feel that way but everyone is different) so why did I mention any of that?

She was one of the three ladies in Memphis - I went to meet two very special ladies and we all lived for almost a week as ourselves - and it was wonderful - one had been on HRT for almost a year and the other about 9 months and I was in my second month - I was the only non-diabetic in the room.

It doesn't have to stop or even slow down your transition - Donna Jean will be here sometime to day and tell you about her's being controlled by diet alone but Elizabeth won't be here so I will tell you that she took injections several times a day and was still having no trouble with transitioning - the same endo is watching both!

So it is just a mater of following all of your doctor's advice and keeping positive.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest viv]

Viv,

I am so glad that you are feeling better, I was talking to a very dear friend who is no longer here at Laura's (she thinks that it will help her to go stealth easier if she isn't always on talking about before and transitioning - I don't feel that way but everyone is different) so why did I mention any of that?

She was one of the three ladies in Memphis - I went to meet two very special ladies and we all lived for almost a week as ourselves - and it was wonderful - one had been on HRT for almost a year and the other about 9 months and I was in my second month - I was the only non-diabetic in the room.

It doesn't have to stop or even slow down your transition - Donna Jean will be here sometime to day and tell you about her's being controlled by diet alone but Elizabeth won't be here so I will tell you that she took injections several times a day and was still having no trouble with transitioning - the same endo is watching both!

So it is just a mater of following all of your doctor's advice and keeping positive.

Love ya,

Sally

Sally,

Thanks for letting me know, I was so afraid, not now. I was saying to Yvonne earlier how deeply we are women, and friends trying with

such love and compassion for one another to help and advise , oh my , Sally , this Garden really does work. Dear Laura, an Angel.

I will do whats to be done in order to continue as this is my life my everything. You know Sally, I replied to a few posts earlier and

my pounding head and raw feeling in my stomach started to ease, so glad i did that, felt so good. I cant remember how i came across

Laura"s but im so glad i did . My deepest gratitude, viv.

[Carolyn Marie]

Viv, I'm glad you're feeling better, Hon. It's natural to feel a bit of panic when told news like that.

I agree with my sisters who have experience with diabetes and transition. I've had Type II diabetes for ten years, and have

been insulin dependent for most of that time. One of the first things I did when deciding that I wanted to transition, was

to research the effects of HRT on my condition.

I found many articles written by doctors and researchers about HRT, and not one of them mentioned diabetes being a reason

not to start a course of HRT treatments. You still need to heed your doctor's advice, but I think you can be optimistic about

it. You don't even know yet whether you will need to take insulin or if you can control your diabetes through diet and exercise and

maybe some oral medications.

i wish you luck, Viv. Let us know how it goes, OK?

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Okie Dokie, Sally....I just got back from 3 hours electrolysis.....

And, Viv.......

I'm here with a huge dose of hope for you....OK?

Listen, Baby......

My girlfriend Lizzy has diabetes and takes insulin (self injected) 4 times a day...

She has been on HRT for a year and she goes to an Endo for that alone...He's quite interested in her breasts! And she's there for the diabetes....LOL

Ok, me.......

I had a mini stroke back in 2004 and went to the hospital for a couple days...it's all ok...

But I went in with one thing and came out with two more!

High blood pressure and diabetes! DANG!

Well, I decided right then and there that I was going to take care of my self...

So, I started eating right...tons of fresh fruit, veggies...all of the good stuff..I lost lots of weight and now I'm 5'7" and 138-145 lbs and cute as a button! Hee Hee....

I take one little pill in the morning and one at night...the rest I control through diet....

I'm 9 months HRT and happy as a clam!

Viv, Baby....you did NOT just shreech to a dead stop! Far from it!

My diabetes is totally under control and not expected to get any worse if I continue as I'm doing...and that makes my doctor extremely happy!

Chin up, Sweetheart!

Would Good 'ole Donna Jean lead you astray???

LOVE & HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

Hi Donna Jean,

For what seemed like an age , about a week or so / right up to this morning (my time ) I just thought my life had

been stripped of any value and a few silly thoughts began to creep into my thinking. I just needed so much advice and if

the news was to be bad I needed the privacy and sanctuary of our Garden. Now my wonderful friends have put my mind at rest

I feel a ton weight off my shoulders. I wish I could paint the words THANK YOU ALL MY SISTERS across the night sky so you all

could see. Thank you so much Donna Jean, all my tears are gone for today but I am so glad I am a woman and was able to cry

among my sisters. I will gladly accept whatever I have to do re Diabetes as long as I can continue to transition. I am so glad you

are dealing with yours so sucesfully. On a lighter note I had a laser session this morning and the chance arose to tell the operator (her)

I was a trans woman ,,,,she said back to me "i knew already, women know these things , the way you spoke about stuff."gave you away.

Two women talking , oh the bliss of acceptance , even though the subject matter could have been happier , will be next time.

Thank you so much for taking the time to advise and comfort me , all of my love and gratitude to you and all my sisters. viv.

[Guest qRachelp]

Dearest Viv,

It's alright, baby. Lean on my shoulder and just relax. Hug me tight, feel me hug back. Just stay there like that for a moment, then maybe a moment more. I'm really holding you right now and I'm here for you.

All right, you're facing a huge dilemma and a giant obstacle lies in your path.

I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you what I've done in the past that has worked for me and hope you can draw some inspiration from it.

In my early days in the work force, I was fighting terrible mental demons in the form of extreme mental conflicts with my own gender identity. The conflicts were so severe, I didn't even understand what was going on, due to my upbringing and training to be a "man's man". I couldn't concentrate, I was failing at life and was extremely close to being homeless and living in a box under a bridge.

I went to some counseling in college and my brain was so scrambled, so conflicted and so tormented, I couldn't even tell the therapist what was wrong. It was pure h*ll on earth if such a thing existed.

The only thing I could think of to do was to go to a book store and see if I could find anything on mind control. I started reading a little out of each book, until I found a book that moved me. I bought the book.

Reading this book on "positive thinking" did me a world of good. Basically, all those books tell you to close your eyes, visualize yourself (through your own eyes) as being where you want to be already. You need to do this just as you're falling asleep each night, as that's when the subconscious part of your brain is the most receptive. You're really slowly re-programming your brain.

Right now, you're convinced all is lost, so your brain is showing "movies" to you of your future failure. You need to get that projectionist out of the booth and find one that will show you as your future self: happy, vibrant, successful and looking and feeling the way you want to feel. You need to breathe deep, feel the tensions leave your body and have an overwhelming sense of peace come over you as you see, feel, touch and believe your success. Fall asleep with that vision in your head and, eventually, it will come to pass.

I had to read a little from the book at key points all day long. I read a little at breakfast, to get my mind going right. At breaks, at lunch, in the afternoon, before dinner, after dinner, before bed. I carried that book with me everywhere and whenever I had a minute, I read a little.

You're not reading the book so much to get the info and finish it, as you are to provide inspiration and hope to help you overcome this obstacle. The subconscious mind is extremely powerful and can do things that go well beyond the realm of science and even what you believe to be possible.

I finished the book and was a little depressed. I found another book by the same author, did the same thing. Pretty soon I'd finished all 7 of his books and was much better off. I found another author, finished all their books, and another author and another and another. I've now read nearly 100 books on mind power.

I've used this power to achieve the unachievable, attain the unattainable and could tell you countless stories of overcoming the impossible. It worked for me and it can work for you, but you must believe.

I'm working my magic for you now. The disease is NOT an impossible barrier that makes it impossible for you to transition, it's just an inconvenience. A mere obstacle in the road that must be navigated around, no big deal.

Believe it, accept it, find a book that works for you. PM me if you need to, I'm here for you, baby. I love you and really appreciate the support you've given me and I'm giving it back to you right now.

So, lay down, let the tension flow out of your body and feel a sense of calm overtake you as you realize this is no big deal. Many other girls just like you have successfully transitioned with the same or worse condition. It won't be easy, but it's not impossible.

Feel better? Good.

I love you and I'm working for you. Just help me a little and it'll be all right.

Yvonne

Yvonne,

What is the name of the first "mind control" book you read?

Rachel

[Guest qRachelp]

Viv,

I am so glad that you are feeling better, I was talking to a very dear friend who is no longer here at Laura's (she thinks that it will help her to go stealth easier if she isn't always on talking about before and transitioning - I don't feel that way but everyone is different) so why did I mention any of that?

She was one of the three ladies in Memphis - I went to meet two very special ladies and we all lived for almost a week as ourselves - and it was wonderful - one had been on HRT for almost a year and the other about 9 months and I was in my second month - I was the only non-diabetic in the room.

It doesn't have to stop or even slow down your transition - Donna Jean will be here sometime to day and tell you about her's being controlled by diet alone but Elizabeth won't be here so I will tell you that she took injections several times a day and was still having no trouble with transitioning - the same endo is watching both!

So it is just a mater of following all of your doctor's advice and keeping positive.

Love ya,

Sally

Sally,

I needed to read this post. I've had insulin diabetes for 27 years, and I can't stop the bad visions of total loss in my head should I be denied transition....

Rachel

[Guest Donna Jean]

I have talked to a few Transwomen that, like Viv, were devastated when they found that had diabetes...They thought they were dead in the water...stopped right then and there in their transition..

As everyone can see from this thread...it's not a death sentence for one's transition....

But, it DOES need to be gotten under control!

I think that this thread has enlightened a lot of people to the fact that diabetes doesn't stop a transition..

I'm so glad that we could put some troubled minds to rest!

LOVE & Diabetic HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest qRachelp]

I have talked to a few Transwomen that, like Viv, were devastated when they found that had diabetes...They thought they were dead in the water...stopped right then and there in their transition..

As everyone can see from this thread...it's not a death sentence for one's transition....

But, it DOES need to be gotten under control!

I think that this thread has enlightened a lot of people to the fact that diabetes doesn't stop a transition..

I'm so glad that we could put some troubled minds to rest!

LOVE & Diabetic HUGGS!

Donna Jean

Yes, Donna Jean, I feel MUCH better about it after reading this thread. One thing about me having diabetes for 27 years is I'm healthier than most people my age because I've taken care of myself; mostly just by not ever eating much. Science has found that sugar makes the human body age faster than anything else that we put into it, and since I've always avoided sugar since I was 12-years-old, I still look twenty-five if I don't smile too big and show my "crow's feet". I'm workin' on filling those in, though.

Anyway, I don't foresee any problems with getting my hormones, but it still bothers me that someone else besides myself can play God with my life if they so choose. There should be a "Human Rights" law against such absolutism.

Diabetic X's,

Rachel

(I just buffed my nails. I never knew that just buffing them, alone, makes them look like they have clear fingernail polish on them: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-file-and-buff-your-nails )