Alcohol+mom (not Sure Where This Should Go)

[Guest Emily H]

I'm not sure at all where this should go, and this problem, I think its a problem anyway, is with my mom.

It seems she has recently started to take up drinking.

I remember about a year ago, there was a bottle of rum we had. Every now and then, as in, after about seven months, it would be gone, and she would buy a new bottle.

But recently, within the past six months, she has gone through two bottles twice that size, and is halfway through a third one.

As of right now, she is drunk. Not like, wasted drunk, but like, she is really goofy and irrational and seems to be leanign on everything for support while walking.

This concerns me. For one, she had a gastric bypass surgery done maybe five or six years ago, and I remember her saying (at least I think I remember her saying) something about not having alcohol.

This also worries me because it seems as if she recently got a thirst for alcohol, and it increased since. I think, maybe she is drinking it to deal with some problems she has..but I have no clue at all if this is true, she is normally a delightful, level headed lady who works hard and has control.

But right now..I don't know. I'm probably just over reacting to seeing her drunk. Its not like it happens often but...the rum is going somewhere...

~Andrea

[Carolyn Marie]

Andrea, it was wise of you to bring this issue to us. There are people here with experience in such matters.

I think you should talk to her about it. Not confront her - no anger, just talk. Find out if there is a reason for her drinking, and underlying problem.

If you find one, then you can work on it together. Give her support and understanding. Help her find resources.

Every situation is different, and there are dozens of reasons why she might be drinking. If she knows you are there to help, that should give her

strength to find an answer.

I'm sure others will have better advice. I wish you and your mother luck.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jonie]

I'm not sure at all where this should go, and this problem, I think its a problem anyway, is with my mom.

It seems she has recently started to take up drinking.

I remember about a year ago, there was a bottle of rum we had. Every now and then, as in, after about seven months, it would be gone, and she would buy a new bottle.

But recently, within the past six months, she has gone through two bottles twice that size, and is halfway through a third one.

As of right now, she is drunk. Not like, wasted drunk, but like, she is really goofy and irrational and seems to be leanign on everything for support while walking.

This concerns me. For one, she had a gastric bypass surgery done maybe five or six years ago, and I remember her saying (at least I think I remember her saying) something about not having alcohol.

This also worries me because it seems as if she recently got a thirst for alcohol, and it increased since. I think, maybe she is drinking it to deal with some problems she has..but I have no clue at all if this is true, she is normally a delightful, level headed lady who works hard and has control.

But right now..I don't know. I'm probably just over reacting to seeing her drunk. Its not like it happens often but...the rum is going somewhere...

~Andrea

Hello sweet heart I really can not say that I am much good of an advice giver on this.

As far as you saying her drinking because of problems you are more than likely right.I my self use to do the same thing.I agree that trying to talk to her is the right thing to do and try to find out what is is bothering her that she is trying to forget.some times talking about and getting it out in the open really helps ask her what she is thinking about just kind of prob around.nicely and gently and maybe she will let it out I wish you best of luck with her and hope that things gets better. Jonie

[Guest Sergei]

It doesn't sound like your mother is drinking too excesively at the moment, although it is never necessarily how much you drink, it is usually why you drink that is the problem. Just make her aware that you have noticed the increase in her consumption and check she is ok. Sometimes it just takes somebody to point out that you are having slightly too much to make you realise it yourself. Try talking calmly about it with her. x

[Guest Heather taru]

Andrea,

I know your pain; I have a very close family member that I have been battling alcoholism with for years. We won, I think. He is currently in possession of a sixty day chip from AA, maybe more, I've lost count. I'm in law enforcement, and I have had to get involved in ways that are terrifying and sad.

I can tell you this; talk to your mom. Do not beat around the bush, but avoid the word alcoholic (let her say it), and avoid accusations. You should tell her EXACTLY how her drinking affects you, and how you feel about it. You love her, and are worried about her. Most likely, she is going to fight you by denying that she has a problem, making excuses, or trying to hide her drinking. It sucks, but you need to be strong. Also, you should seek other family member's support during this. Stick with it. You will need to be like a rock, steady and unwavering, both in your commitment to her and her health, but also to being there for her when she needs you.

I have seen it before, and have had to live this nightmare for years myself. Every situation is different, so if something does not work, back up and try something else. If you need to, contact a local Alchoholics Anonymous group for information that can help you. If you can get through to your mom just a little bit, consider it a victory but don't give up. I and my family stopped at each small victory. Because we stopped, we did not get my person the help he needed before two very close drunken suicide attempts.

I hope what I have said helps. Please feel free to message me if you need help or just someone to vent to. This is difficult, I know, and you cannot do it alone. Good luck.

[Guest Emily H]

Oh good god...

She came in to my room about ten minutes ago and started telling me about her friend who died very recently by killing herself.

But I thought it very odd the way she was telling me about it...I got even more suspicious when she..started acting very goofy and laughing, and even when I showed I was upset (I was a bit upset before she came in), she just stayed in here making jokes and petting the cat, and she manage to make me laugh through nervousness...

She then went to the bathroom.

I quickly went to our dining room and found an empty bottle of rum that I swear was not here this morning.

And then I took a sip of her drink.

Definitely rum in it.

Now i'm very worried. I am definitely going to talk to her about this tomorrow.

~Andrea

[Guest Emily H]

I talked to my mom when she got home, and here was our 'conversation'.

Neutral: "Mom, how come you have been drinking a lot lately?"

Neutral: ' I don't know, but I wouldn't worry about it"

Neutral: "Mom..that's not really an answer."

Defensive/angry: "I don't owe you an answer."

I don't know what to do now...

~Andrea

[Guest ChalenAustin]

I don't have any experience with alcoholism in my life (grew up in a dry household) but I did think of maybe a couple suggestions that may help until more poeple area ble to offer their advice and suggestions.

You could try looking up places on the web for alcoholics and their familes and read up on what they suggest or get in touch with someone in your area who deals with this for a living who can offer therapy or how to plan an intervention.

I truly wish I could be more help than that.

So far you're doing an excellent job holding up to all of this and know that you will always find support here.

I wish you all the best.

Oh, also I don't know if you live with your mom or not but I woudln't look that stuff up on a computer she has access to.

You can never be too careful are have the stress of worring if you deleted everyting you don't want her to see be accident. Bless you both.