Gid Like A Pet At The Vet

[Guest yvonne]

Hello Sweet Sisters,

Had my 2nd GT session last night. The first was just me telling my story and I'm certain it was like everybody else's, detailing a life of incredible torment over the conflict in my brain between my upbringing (boys don't cry) and the real me, a girl. I wasn't able to cry during the session and felt great when I left, but after I got home I realized I was seething with anger and tension. She said that was completely normal.

2nd session, GT suggested that she just ask me questions to help her better understand me. Sounded like less pain to me. At one point, I had to relate the lifelong conflict I've battled--overwhelming compulsions to crossdress, uncontrollable mental pictures of being a girl, forced into it by a third party (heaven knows it wasn't acceptable for me to do it, after all, I'm a man) and all the mental torment it represented.

She looked at me, explained how she understood what it was like and said, "you lived like that for over 40 years? I can't believe you're not dead". My GT actually said she can't believe I'm not dead.....

I'm sharing this partly to help me deal with it, but more importantly to help all you lurkers out there who may read this and say, "hey, that's MY story, too".

You see, I spent decades in a mental h*ll because I was like a pet at the vet--full of unbelievable pain and suffering, yet unable to communicate to anyone who could help to tell them where or how I hurt. The very nature of GID was so repulsive to me, I couldn't admit to myself that that was what was wrong with me.

Let me repeat that: I couldn't admit to myself that GID was what was wrong with me. I honestly didn't know and I didn't understand. I only knew that my life was full of pain, conflict and torment, but I was at a total loss to even explain it to anyone, the root cause was so repulsive and unacceptable to me.

This is the second principle purpose (actually, maybe the first) of Laura's Playground: Suicide Prevention.

My GT also couldn't believe that I'd never seriously contemplated suicide. She couldn't believe that I'd lived this way. She couldn't believe that I appeared to be reasonably normal to others on the outside and had actually achieved many noteworthy things in my life, despite this torment. (Hey, I'm stupid, I don't know some things just can't be done, so I do them anyway).

I must have finally reached "critical mass" in the last few years, because I realized on my own that these images and mental pictures were very bad for me and I worked to change them.

Rather than a 3rd party feminizing me against my will, I would just dress up myself because it was fun. I enjoyed it. wow. This was a lot easier said than done.

As I was discussing this with my wife after the session, she said that I'd been nearly impossible to live with the last 3 years and took it out on her "for no apparent reason".

I finally turned the corner on my own in the last year. I finally had to admit: 1) It's OK to want to be the opposite gender 2) It's neither evil nor wrong 3) It's not my fault 4) I can't change the desire 5) I was born this way, it's a birth defect 6) It's perfectly possible to accept it and enjoy it 7) the real fix isn't all that hard, in comparison to not fixing it.

As a result of simply accepting my true identity (in my case, I was raised to be a man, I'm really a girl) has brought me great joy.

My inner demons are gone. I no longer get overwhelming compulsions. I no longer experience mental conflicts. The pain is gone.

My life now is like ecstasy (the feeling, not the drug) nearly every minute in comparison.

The point of this post: If you feel like a pet at the vet and feel like you just can't deal with it, anymore. There's hope out there. There's hope here. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY.

Accept my 7 basic points of understanding (I made them up myself, they're not based on any sound principles of anything) and simply understand that you may suffer GID and it's OK.

Start by talking it out here at Laura's, then realize it's pretty easy to ask the sisters (and brothers) for help, as many have traveled this road before you and are more than willing to share their light to guide you on your way. They'll help you understand a good GT and recognize a bad one.

You're not the only one who's experienced this pain and ridding yourself of the pain is much easier than you think. If you think suicide is the only way out, you're going to miss out on a lot of fun in your life, for there's a LOT to look forward to. Let me repeat: There's a LOT of joy and happiness and it's just outside that closet. Open the door just a crack and take a peek. It's warm, accepting and open to you.

I close with one simple thought: "Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive, KNOCK and it shall be opened unto you".

So, knock on the door here at Laura's. A lot of us have our hand already on the door and we're eager to open it for you.

Thank you, my loving sisters, for helping me get it open myself. I'm so alive now.

Yvonne

[Guest angie]

You are right,

Your story sounds like so many others,including mine.

You stated that very well my sweet loving sister,and am

one happy lady that you not only found yourself,but that

you found your way to here.I am proud to call you my Sister.

Hugs Ms Yvonne,

Angelique Michelle

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yvonne.....

The door has opened for you now and it's all spilling out...and unlike the pet at a vet's ....you CAN communicate!

And you are, now...that is what is opening that door!I think that you're right on base, too...Laura's is such a help...the love, compassiona and help of others...you couldn't have a better support group!

I, for one, have told you that I have joy in watching someone bloom and you are just starting to open now....

You have such an incredible journey stretching out in front of you....

And we're here to support you....and like any journey...there'll be good times and bad times...lets just hope that the good times far outweigh the other!

Love you, Girlfriend!

LOVE & HUGGS!

Donna Jean`

[Guest viv]

Hello Sweet Sisters,

Had my 2nd GT session last night. The first was just me telling my story and I'm certain it was like everybody else's, detailing a life of incredible torment over the conflict in my brain between my upbringing (boys don't cry) and the real me, a girl. I wasn't able to cry during the session and felt great when I left, but after I got home I realized I was seething with anger and tension. She said that was completely normal.

2nd session, GT suggested that she just ask me questions to help her better understand me. Sounded like less pain to me. At one point, I had to relate the lifelong conflict I've battled--overwhelming compulsions to crossdress, uncontrollable mental pictures of being a girl, forced into it by a third party (heaven knows it wasn't acceptable for me to do it, after all, I'm a man) and all the mental torment it represented.

She looked at me, explained how she understood what it was like and said, "you lived like that for over 40 years? I can't believe you're not dead". My GT actually said she can't believe I'm not dead.....

I'm sharing this partly to help me deal with it, but more importantly to help all you lurkers out there who may read this and say, "hey, that's MY story, too".

You see, I spent decades in a mental h*ll because I was like a pet at the vet--full of unbelievable pain and suffering, yet unable to communicate to anyone who could help to tell them where or how I hurt. The very nature of GID was so repulsive to me, I couldn't admit to myself that that was what was wrong with me.

Let me repeat that: I couldn't admit to myself that GID was what was wrong with me. I honestly didn't know and I didn't understand. I only knew that my life was full of pain, conflict and torment, but I was at a total loss to even explain it to anyone, the root cause was so repulsive and unacceptable to me.

This is the second principle purpose (actually, maybe the first) of Laura's Playground: Suicide Prevention.

My GT also couldn't believe that I'd never seriously contemplated suicide. She couldn't believe that I'd lived this way. She couldn't believe that I appeared to be reasonably normal to others on the outside and had actually achieved many noteworthy things in my life, despite this torment. (Hey, I'm stupid, I don't know some things just can't be done, so I do them anyway).

I must have finally reached "critical mass" in the last few years, because I realized on my own that these images and mental pictures were very bad for me and I worked to change them.

Rather than a 3rd party feminizing me against my will, I would just dress up myself because it was fun. I enjoyed it. wow. This was a lot easier said than done.

As I was discussing this with my wife after the session, she said that I'd been nearly impossible to live with the last 3 years and took it out on her "for no apparent reason".

I finally turned the corner on my own in the last year. I finally had to admit: 1) It's OK to want to be the opposite gender 2) It's neither evil nor wrong 3) It's not my fault 4) I can't change the desire 5) I was born this way, it's a birth defect 6) It's perfectly possible to accept it and enjoy it 7) the real fix isn't all that hard, in comparison to not fixing it.

As a result of simply accepting my true identity (in my case, I was raised to be a man, I'm really a girl) has brought me great joy.

My inner demons are gone. I no longer get overwhelming compulsions. I no longer experience mental conflicts. The pain is gone.

My life now is like ecstasy (the feeling, not the drug) nearly every minute in comparison.

The point of this post: If you feel like a pet at the vet and feel like you just can't deal with it, anymore. There's hope out there. There's hope here. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY.

Accept my 7 basic points of understanding (I made them up myself, they're not based on any sound principles of anything) and simply understand that you may suffer GID and it's OK.

Start by talking it out here at Laura's, then realize it's pretty easy to ask the sisters (and brothers) for help, as many have traveled this road before you and are more than willing to share their light to guide you on your way. They'll help you understand a good GT and recognize a bad one.

You're not the only one who's experienced this pain and ridding yourself of the pain is much easier than you think. If you think suicide is the only way out, you're going to miss out on a lot of fun in your life, for there's a LOT to look forward to. Let me repeat: There's a LOT of joy and happiness and it's just outside that closet. Open the door just a crack and take a peek. It's warm, accepting and open to you.

I close with one simple thought: "Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive, KNOCK and it shall be opened unto you".

So, knock on the door here at Laura's. A lot of us have our hand already on the door and we're eager to open it for you.

Thank you, my loving sisters, for helping me get it open myself. I'm so alive now.

Yvonne

Hi Yvonne,

What a difficult time you had in your past. You have come through all that and , like your sisters here , make your journey so as

to find peace . Yvonne , as you make yours you will forget those bad times , sorry, not the events but the effect they had on you. Those

will be replaced by that warming contentment of casting off the masculine and welcoming your womanhood . It wont be long hun , just

a while longer and bliss will take you and hold you forever. We all love you here Yvonne, viv