Going To My Parents For Thanksgiving

[Guest NatalieRene]

I've been busy as of late with a winter project at work that needs to be done by the end of December and ensnared by Dragon Age on the PC in the evenings. Sorry I haven't been posting as much.

I'm going down to Duluth GA for Thanksgiving and while I'm down there I'm going to be coming out to my parents and sisters as a mtf transexual. I've been working with my therapist about what I would say and did some roleplaying with her as my parents and sisters so I could practice coming out. I am at once both excited to no longer have to hide myself away from my family but I am very nervous how things will turn out.

I really hope they are accepting.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I really hope they are accepting.

Sweetheart...we are, too....

You do know that we are all here for you...

Some of us wish that we could be there with you for support..(me)

But...we'll just wait here and see how your experience goes...

But, you DO know that an incredible amount of energy is headed your way!

From all of us , baby....

From all of us...

Donna Jean

[Guest NatalieRene]

Thank you Donna Jean. It helps knowing people are out there that have gone through what I'm going through and care.

I'll let you all know how it goes. I am so nervous.

[Guest angie]

Sooo tell me little sister,

Are you going to bring some of your womens clothes,so after you come out

to the family,they get to see the real you for the first time?The curious want

to know.(grin)

Hugs Natalie,and my fondest wish for you, is that they be totally accepting.

Angie

[Guest DeniseNM]

Natalie I hope everything goes good for you at your parents, you know that you have alot of support from us here. Sending love and energy your way. No matter how things turn out I know you will make it through this.

Denise

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Natalie hon,

I know that coming out to your family is very important to you, and I do hope that everything will turn out OK!!! I will add this small little piece of unsoliceted advice.... let coming out be natural. I don't know how to really explain it, but just feel your way about coming out. When it is time, you will know. I guess I am just saying that although coming out to your loved ones is very important, don't force it. Let it flow. You will see

I wish you all the best.

Love

Brenda

[Guest SusanKG]

Natalie,

Oh, many crossed fingers here for you! It sounds as if your therapist is working out a great plan and role-playig with you. Have a good thanksgiving regardless. It's not the last, afterall.

SusanKG

[Guest again]

congrats on your decision to come out to family Natalie! I'm sure that things will go well and I will be thinking of you----just remember that if you don't want to do it face to face, you can always have the nice family visit and then leave a detailed letter for them to read when you are gone---gives time for everyone to absorb the news without the emotional hype---depends on your personal circumstances of course. All the best!

[Guest Evee18]

Good luck to you and your parents. I hope everything goes well.

[Guest Joe Cool]

Good luck!

I hope that things go better than expected and you can finally feel comfortable around your family. I will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed!

Joe

[Guest Erin Quinn]

Best of luck sis, we'll all be thinking about you, this is such a huge step, but it sounds like you're ready

[Guest viv]

I've been busy as of late with a winter project at work that needs to be done by the end of December and ensnared by Dragon Age on the PC in the evenings. Sorry I haven't been posting as much.

I'm going down to Duluth GA for Thanksgiving and while I'm down there I'm going to be coming out to my parents and sisters as a mtf transexual. I've been working with my therapist about what I would say and did some roleplaying with her as my parents and sisters so I could practice coming out. I am at once both excited to no longer have to hide myself away from my family but I am very nervous how things will turn out.

I really hope they are accepting.

Hi Natalie,

ACCEPTING????,,,ACCEPTING???,

They will put their arms around you hun and give you the biggest welcome you could imagine.

No matter what you do you are your parents pride and joy. Your sisters will ""whisk" you away to the bedroom to get all the info. Natalie,

for a couple of minutes ,,,,oh, embarrassment for the want of a better word, you will be one of your parents daughters and from that

moment on just one of the girls. your gonna be cool girl, go for it and let us all know ***cant wait to hear myself***Luv, viv

[Guest qRachelp]

I've been busy as of late with a winter project at work that needs to be done by the end of December and ensnared by Dragon Age on the PC in the evenings. Sorry I haven't been posting as much.

I'm going down to Duluth GA for Thanksgiving and while I'm down there I'm going to be coming out to my parents and sisters as a mtf transexual. I've been working with my therapist about what I would say and did some roleplaying with her as my parents and sisters so I could practice coming out. I am at once both excited to no longer have to hide myself away from my family but I am very nervous how things will turn out.

I really hope they are accepting.

Natalie Rene,

My family's not that complicated; it fell apart years ago. But if I had a loving family like you seem to have, my first words to them would go something like: "You are my family, and I love you VERY MUCH...", and even though tears may start to well-up in your eyes, I think the rest of the words will then come much easier to you. I guess that telling them all together as a whole would be my route. That way, if there was a dissenter or two among them, they would be immediately quelled by your allies, and hopefully later convinced by those on your side that you are doing what's right for yourself, AND them.

Natalie Rene, you have a bit of my love to take back home with you, this holiday.

XX,

Rachel

[Guest yvonne]

Natalie, my sweet girlfriend,

Congratulations on facing another milestone in your journey, coming out to loved ones. There's no way to know what to expect and the range of responses varies from "so what?" to total rejection.

I would expect it's not unusual for the initial reaction to be more severe than the long-term reaction. In my wife's case, she initially was quite disturbed and has gradually become more accepting, although each day brings new challenges and new possibilities.

I sincerely wish you the best outcome possible. None of us have a choice in how we are and we can't stop the train. We're just on it.

I'll be home all weekend and will look forward to hearing about your experience. I hope it's extremely positive. If it helps, visualize all your sisters right behind you, as we truly are.

I love you, girl. Be proud of who you are and what you're doing.

Your loving sister and friend,

Yvonne

[Sally]

Good luck Natalie.

Just remember that you have already come out to a much larger family who turned out to be very understanding, accepting and loving - Us!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest NatalieRene]

Wow thank you so much everyone for your support. This means so much to me. I have to try not to cry so I can see the screen and write this out.

I also just found out this morning that instead of going with my family to my Grandparents place that my sister is going to pick them up and drive them to my parents place and that my grandparents on my Mom's side will be flying in too. I hadn't planed to come out to both grand parents at the same time too.

Angie, I want to but on the other hand I don't want to utterly and completely overwhelm them. That and this is Georgia. My parents are transplants from the North but there are some really intolerant people in the neighborhood and I would never pass walking around in what I would like to wear. After I tell them I'm planning on gradually feminizing what I wear around them. But during this trip no dresses, skirts, or heels because I think it's too fast for them to handle all at once. I do have some really nice woman's shirts and pants that I plan to bring that I can mix and match while at my parents. I need to go get myself a nice pair of tennis shoes to go with my pants while I'm down there.

Thanks Brenda. I'm thinking that after we all get home from brunch on Sunday after church would be best. I'll have to go put a vhs tape in the vcr and set it to record my Dad's football game if the Steelers are playing so he won't be distracted by the game. I've thought about how I'm going to tell them and I've decided I'm going to keep it simple.

I've told my parents over the phone about a month ago that I've been seeing a therapist to help me with my anxiety which is true but I have never told my parents what was the cause of my anxiety. So when I tell them I'm just going to have them all sit down and tell them that for as long as I can remember I have felt like a female trapped in a males body. My anxiety from my condition made it difficult for me to make friends and if I managed to make a friend it was hard for me to maintain the friendship. I've been seeing a therapist for five months now and I have found that the more I have accepted and embraced myself the more more my anxiety has subsided. I love you all very much and hope you will support and accept me.

Thanks Susan. Yeah it really helped me a lot and she gave me a lot of good advice. My therapist suggested that I can offer to have them in my next session when I get back via a conference call with them to help my parents.

congrats on your decision to come out to family Natalie! I'm sure that things will go well and I will be thinking of you----just remember that if you don't want to do it face to face, you can always have the nice family visit and then leave a detailed letter for them to read when you are gone---gives time for everyone to absorb the news without the emotional hype---depends on your personal circumstances of course. All the best!

I had thought about a letter but I'm down there anyways and it was bad enough in July just keeping it to myself and not telling them when I had the chance. I just want to get it off my chest and hope for the best. I'm going to save the letter for my aunts and uncles that live way out of the way and won't be at my parents for thanksgiving. It's not that I love them any less but I just can't feasibly tell them face to face since they are so far away.

Hi Natalie,

ACCEPTING????,,,ACCEPTING???,

They will put their arms around you hun and give you the biggest welcome you could imagine.

No matter what you do you are your parents pride and joy. Your sisters will ""whisk" you away to the bedroom to get all the info. Natalie,

for a couple of minutes ,,,,oh, embarrassment for the want of a better word, you will be one of your parents daughters and from that

moment on just one of the girls. your gonna be cool girl, go for it and let us all know ***cant wait to hear myself***Luv, viv

Oh my I hope so.

Natalie Rene,

My family's not that complicated; it fell apart years ago. But if I had a loving family like you seem to have, my first words to them would go something like: "You are my family, and I love you VERY MUCH...", and even though tears may start to well-up in your eyes, I think the rest of the words will then come much easier to you. I guess that telling them all together as a whole would be my route. That way, if there was a dissenter or two among them, they would be immediately quelled by your allies, and hopefully later convinced by those on your side that you are doing what's right for yourself, AND them.

Natalie Rene, you have a bit of my love to take back home with you, this holiday.

XX,

Rachel

Thanks Rachel. Thats a good ice breaker. I really hope that they are all accepting. They accepted my cousin years ago when she came out as a lesbian to them. I just hope things go as well for me.

Natalie, my sweet girlfriend,

Congratulations on facing another milestone in your journey, coming out to loved ones. There's no way to know what to expect and the range of responses varies from "so what?" to total rejection.

I would expect it's not unusual for the initial reaction to be more severe than the long-term reaction. In my wife's case, she initially was quite disturbed and has gradually become more accepting, although each day brings new challenges and new possibilities.

I sincerely wish you the best outcome possible. None of us have a choice in how we are and we can't stop the train. We're just on it.

I'll be home all weekend and will look forward to hearing about your experience. I hope it's extremely positive. If it helps, visualize all your sisters right behind you, as we truly are.

I love you, girl. Be proud of who you are and what you're doing.

Your loving sister and friend,

Yvonne

Thanks Yvonne. I know it's going to be a shock and they will need time to come to gris with it. I've been struggling with it for over twenty years and they will have only been dealing with it for minutes. I just hope that they don't just totally reject me. I'll let you all know after I have told them.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Sorry for not updating sooner. Things have just been so hectic and busy this week.

It was very nerve racking just before I told my parents, sisters, and grand parents on Wednesday. I was especially nervous coming out to my Grandparents because both sets of Grandparents on each side of the family are very conservative. When I did tell them all there was a lot of crying and after a few minutes questions but not one of them got upset or made any hurtful remarks much to my huge relief. There was some embarrassing memory lane conversation when my parents started looking back at everything. At one point my Dad asked if it was anything he did, so I had to tell him that no it wasn't anything he did and no matter how I had been raised if he done anything different I would still have this disconnect between how my body turned out and my mental self.

We where watching the movie surrogates at the 2 dollar theater tonight and when the scene played that you find out the initial lady killed was actually in a mans body for real he made the connection that how I see myself and how I'm seen are not the same and even though my changing what is seen to match how I see myself I don't change inside. I was in tears on the way out , I was so happy. I didn't dare hope that my family would be this accepting. I hope they stay accepting when I tell them at Christmas up at my place that I'll be starting hrt just after New Years.

I told everyone for now to not mention anything outside of the family here during Thanksgiving and that I'm sending a letter to the rest of the family that live further out. Tomorrow I'll be going to church with all of them and asked for them not to mention anything to anyone there at least until I say otherwise. I hope to God that they make a scene there.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Sweetie... Whew!!!

You made it hon!!! Everything is going to be OK!

A very big step you have taken. Coming out to your family!!! I know, I know.

HUGS for you now sweetheart

Love

Brenda

[Guest viv]

Hi Natalie,

Delighted with your news. You are a good person , good people come from good parents.

Doin the maths was easy / as in easy to predict they just want to love you, no matter what. viv

[Guest yvonne]

Oh Natalie!

That's such wonderful news. I'm so happy for you, girlfriend.

This is one of the biggest hurdles for us to face, support from family and loved ones. Remember, it ain't over yet, by a long shot, but you've got a wonderful start to family relations.

I share your joy over the wonderful direction your life is on. This will make a difficult journey a little easier, hon.

Thanks for sharing.

A big long hug of congratulations,

Huuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggg

Your girlfriend,

Yvonne

[Guest Emily H]

Darling...you are beyond lucky! Fortunate, blessed, however you say it.

I think my mom should read a story like this for herself. But I'm not sure. I think it would scare her into thinking that I am going to transition or something.

~Andrea

[Guest NatalieRene]

Sweetie... Whew!!!

You made it hon!!! Everything is going to be OK!

A very big step you have taken. Coming out to your family!!! I know, I know.

HUGS for you now sweetheart

Love

Brenda

It was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, just overcoming my fear and over active imagination of how they would react when I told them.I'm so glad it's over and I don't have to keep anything else hidden from them. My Mom wants me to come with her to drop my youngest sister off at Athens for college today. The car ride home might be interesting.

Hi Natalie,

Delighted with your news. You are a good person , good people come from good parents.

Doin the maths was easy / as in easy to predict they just want to love you, no matter what. viv

Thanks Viv. You're right I am very lucky to have such great parents. I know not everyone is supported by their family. I'm very relieved my worst fears didn't come to pass.

Oh Natalie!

That's such wonderful news. I'm so happy for you, girlfriend.

This is one of the biggest hurdles for us to face, support from family and loved ones. Remember, it ain't over yet, by a long shot, but you've got a wonderful start to family relations.

I share your joy over the wonderful direction your life is on. This will make a difficult journey a little easier, hon.

Thanks for sharing.

A big long hug of congratulations,

Huuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggg

Your girlfriend,

Yvonne

Thanks Yvonne. I still have a long ways to go. I need to tell my cousin who lives a few miles away from me and send out letters to everyone else. I would have told him and his family sooner but he has a big mouth and I wanted to be the one to tell my parents. My therapist suggested I hold off on coming out at work until around spring and then around June start my real life experience. My employer has some transitioned people on staff and maybe as faculty that my therapist knows of. I find it to be a reassurance that I don't have to pick between being comfortable with myself or being able to keep my home and feed myself. I think once I'm fully transitioned though around 2012 I'll sell my place in Virginia and move down to be closer to my sisters and parents in Georgia. I can't move sooner because I can't afford to return the tax credit I received this year and plus the prices are still bottomed out. I'm hoping that by 2012 if the market picks up I can sell my place, buy my place in georgia and have some money left over to pay for srs and ffs if I haven't gotten them done yet by then.

Darling...you are beyond lucky! Fortunate, blessed, however you say it.

I think my mom should read a story like this for herself. But I'm not sure. I think it would scare her into thinking that I am going to transition or something.

~Andrea

Thanks Andrea. About a month ago I told my parents over the phone that I was seeing a therapist for my anxiety that I've had for years. My parents have known about my anxiety and social problems but never knew the underlying reason for my anxiety.So the day after I got to my parents place while everyone was sitting around after lunch I asked them if anyone knew what gender identity was. From there I told them that I loved them and needed their support and that the therapy I was receiving for my anxiety was treating my gender identity disorder. I told them I have been seeing my therapist for a while and explained the standards of care. I have told them I am considering starting the next step; hrt. I know it is a little white lie but I want them to have a chance to come to grips with the idea of gid before I move them along to the next step. I thought it was too quick to tell them that I have gid and that I will be starting hrt soon. I'm going to tell them over Christmas when they come u to my place. This way I can ease them into it without overwhelming them.

I'm not sure what your exact situation is or how much you have told your parents. But I hope my experience helps you with your family Andrea.

[Guest DeniseNM]

Natalie congrats on everything with your family so far, I am so glad and happy for you that things turned out the way they have. I am sure it is a big relief to you how it turned out.

Denise