Sexual Attraction

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

Ok so there’re a number of sexual orientations…

1) Heterosexual

2) Homosexual

3) Bi-sexual

4) Pan-sexual

5) Asexual[well asexual is not really a sexual orientation as such-more so it’s ‘lack’ of s o]

But what is the driving force for you personally[please remember that there are young children here so keep your replies within the boundaries of decency ]…Say for example, some would find big boobs sexually attractive, others might find hairy chest sexy, some are sexually attracted to skinny people, others to plump people…

My background is in urban entomology, and over the years I’ve studied pheromones[A chemical substance secreted externally by some animals (especially insects) that influences the physiology or behaviour of other animals of the same species] Scientist also believe that pheromones play a part in what attracts humans to each other…

So what is it that you find sexually attractive about a person ?

Does this vary from person to person?

Or is there some special characteristic that your are drawn to?

Why am I so darn nosy???

BTW I’m asexual-bi romantic/affectionate-As I began to feel more comfortable with my gender identity my asexual nature blossomed too-that is I no long went along with the mob mentality that all humans must find other humans sexually attractive-I was free to express my true nature …I guess one could call me a 'neo' asexual...[my asexuality was supressed along with my gender identity]

I find some men and women ‘attractive’ but not in a sexually intimate way…

Perhaps it’s just pheromones[and compassion] that sparks my bi ‘romantic’ interest…

Metta Jendar:)

[Guest CJwar]

Hmm. Well...I don't consider myself Bi, even though I can appreciate the beauty or handsomeness of a man, just like I can appreciate the beauty of a woman.

So...for women. I enjoy long flowing hair...not straight, but kind of wavy or curly...I like expressive eyes. Very lush lips...hmm...Body type...I don't like model thin, but I like girls who have a bit of meat on there bones, curvaceous I guess is the word. I love legs...athletic legs, that look like they're ready to take of f running...nice strong calf muscles. I enjoy tall women, but because I am not that tall, I enjoy women that are my height or slightly shorter...I know we're not talking about mental turn-on's...but a woman who can enjoy my sense of humor, and has one of her own...is great. A woman who can debate with me about deep things, love, and spirituality...And something about a feisty woman that gets me going to. Confidence is great, but not that "I'm better than you" type. Just self confidence in what they believe in, or themselves.

For men...Broad shoulders...clean cut and groomed. Athletic build, but not heavy weight body builder type...just kinda..that soccer type, swimmer's body. Hair...depends on their face shape. I've seen some guys that look great with long hair, and others who look much better with short hair. hmm...dimples on a man is very attractive I think, those smile lines are nice.

Sorry for all the "..." I usually do them when I'm thinking on the spot, instead of waiting until I have a complete thought ready to write down. Bot these are the types I found sexually appealing to myself. Can't wait to read other peoples.

[Sakura]

pheromones play as much a role in attraction in humans as it does any animal we are not as aware of it as animals many things that trigger attraction happen on an almost subconscious level vison smell and hearing

from a womans hour glass figure to a mans broad shoulders they are all little ques designed for the soul purpose of attracting a mate you look for a combination of traits you find appealing to you in hopes of passing those better traits on to your off spring weather your conscious of it or not

men in a singles bar full of women will flair thier shoulders out puff up their chest and try to stand straighter to increase hieght features females are keyed in on on a subconscious level shows strength and a possible good ability to protect her and her children if it comes to that and a more healthy mate

women in the same bar try and make their breast look bigger thier waist look smaller and their butt and hips fuller things males are keyed in on subconsciously signs of health and firtility

another fun fact about biology men and women produce a chemical in their body own personal smell ie body oder designed to repel members of their own family kinda like a biological fail safe to prevent accdental incest

this is all stuff i heard about on a special on the discovery channel " which is a really informative show if you wanna know the real reason behind pretty much every thing men and women do mannerisims and such

the thing i find so interesting about this subject is as trans people or gay or lesbien for that matter is alot of this goes out the window when you consider that we are not actively seeking a partner for procreation so many of this subconscious biomechanical mechanisisms have no real bearing in partner selection

so i guess it more comes down to personal attractiveness or what you as a individual finds attractive in another human being

so on that note what i find personally attractive since i think of my self as a hetro woman i have no interest in women out side the conventional friend ship

in a man i like them to be rugged and tough kinda rough around the edges but take decent care in thier apperance i love hands on men that have seen some real work also seeing men do manly things gets me going a man roofing a house in 90 degree weather or playing some rough physical sport gets me hotter than a hen on a hot ten roof *lol fave saying of my grandmoms*

but i also like them to be a gentleman and sweet

gotta be great with kids and my nieces and nephews must love him since they are practically like my children and also needs to be at least as tall as i am

body type dosnt concern me much less they are severly over weight but a man with a bit of a belly is ok more to cuddle on a cold winter night

they must also have a great sence of humor cause i do and be stong in their convictions confident and a bit cocky is a plus to specially when they can back it up with with cold hard fact ......*sigh* jeez lol imma have to stop there i could probly think of a thousand more things but im making my self hot under the collar lol

Sakura

[Guest ricka]

Well first of all I am hardwired as a heterosexual female. What attracts me about a man? I would say it is his eyes and his smile that I notice and am attracted to or not, first of all. There are probably more non-physical traits in a man i find attractive than not: being thoughtful, respectful and considerate, having a big heart, being open, caring, sensitive and intelligent----although I would add there are many kinds of intelligence and being educated is only one of many. I am more attracted to manly, virile men---if the latter term makes sense. I adore being "romanced" by a man---it makes me feel so feminine. On a physical/visual level I do find a strong sexual attraction to the standard ideal of a gifted male body. But on the otherhand if this is accompanied by a narcissistic attitude about himself I am totally turned-off. Oh, and good kissers are a big plus

Ricka

[Guest AshleyRF]

I'm just a proud bi girl, but most of the guys that I think are hotties are gay or FtMs.

[Guest N. Jane]

I would have to agree with "... pheromones play a part in what attracts humans to each other…" because, as a (predominantly) heterosexual female there is no one thing or group of things that I could identify that attract me to a guy. Certainly if he is strongly attracted to me, I am more likely to be drawn to him (pheromones working both ways?). It can be totally illogical and VERY powerful, which sometimes makes it difficult to "do the right thing" I went out on a date with one guy not long ago where the chemistry was SO powerful that it made it hard to say no. His scent was on me and I kept smelling it for HOURS and thinking "Gosh darned!" LOL! Some months later I ran into the same thing with a different guy - not my type for long term - but I didn't say no - we had a wild weekend and went our separate ways.

When I was young (newly minted I SWEAR guys could pick up my own pheromones! If I was out and sexually arroused, it attracted guys like bees to a flower; if I was out and 'not interested', not so much so.

But, for me, it's pure chemistry and has almost nothing to do with a guy's characteristics. Personality, disposition, etc. is behind a whole different sort of attraction. If you are very lucky you may find them both in the same package!

[Guest angie]

*sigh* jeez lol imma have to stop there i could probly think of a thousand more things but im making my self hot under the collar lol

Sakura

LOL Sakura,wanna fan sis?

I am attracted to a mans confidence,sense of humor,affability and wit.He doesn't have to be a hunk or drop dead good looking,just be a big manly man and a nice guy.Plus my whole body reacts to

certain mens phermones,wether I am looking at them or not.I do not know why,but I have no interest in a relationship with another woman.Even after being straight my entire past life,I just don't find women to be of intimate interest to me any longer.I am a straight woman in my reallife.

All involved with my life, know this is my path,I make no bones about it,flat out I like men.

I am comfortable with my body's decision with which gender my female sexuality is attracted to.

Angie

[Guest N. Jane]

***giggle**

"Gosh darned" and "sexually aroused" weren't the words I used (and mine were spelled correctly ) but I get the idea - tone it down LOL!

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

OK, having just admitted to myself that my attraction to women has remained just as strong as it ever was and that I have no interest in dating men and also from having been around the block a few time here is my list.

First and foremost a good mind and well spoken

secondly a great personality one who can do more that play the bimbo role

affectionate, loving, kind, considerate

someone who prefers quiet evenings rather than clubbing

after all that comes the sexual aspect

ok there are some other things that I like but they are definately not for pg13 ears

[Guest AlexanderG]

Jendar, I sort of read your q as 'what's your type'?

Oh yea, for the record; born heterosexual female, but feeling too comfortable with the thought of be(com)ing a homosexual male to think of myself as anything else right now.

I am sooooo not mature enough to talk about these things. Note that I am an absolute virgin and have never seen a real-life naked man, so I base this on men-without-shirts on, my imagination, and stuff.

-I like sorta skinny guys, though I'm not sure 'skinny' is the right word, and there's def. a limit. Slim?

-No (beer)belly is an absolute pre.

-Chest hair: I like it a LOT with a certain guy, and it sort of... signals I'm dealing with a man, not a boy, which is an importand distinction, in any case like the hair on men's lower abdomens.

-A well-shaped behind.

-And ehm... I do imagine the faces & sounds he makes while 'at it' will be totally... nice. Yes, I think that would be a major turn-on.

-Let's skip the genitalia.

-& most importantly: eyes. Not in the sense of brown or blue, but of what they express.

That's for the superficial part. LOL.

Ehm... eSPECIALLY if I read back the others' responses a bit more... how pornographic minded I am? Hey, I'm 22 and raaaving with hormones!

OK, try again

-matching humor,

-having something worthwhile to say,

-being of the touchy-feely kind (like, you know, unconsciously touching people as a token of general affection),

-being happy. Men with happy eyes I want to take home - but not necessarily to have sex with so I'm not sure that counts. -being himself aka not caring all TOO much about what other people think AKA not afraid to show he has emotions.

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

With boys, I like them thin, femme, shorter than me, long haired, and pale. For me, the femmer in appearance the better. I think crossdressing boys are kind of hot. By crossdressing boys I mean male-identified guys who just like girls' clothes. If they identify as female then in my opinion they are just girls, which is okay with me anyway. xD I really like guys in the more alternative styles like goth, emo, scene, visual kei, etc. Not really punk though, that's too masculine and same with most metalheads, though I did make an exception once. I think decora boys are really cute, though they are very difficult to find. For girls, I also like them femme but not ultra "I broke my nail waa!" girly. That's just annoying. With girls I like shorter than me, curvy, unusual hair colored and long haired. I really love alternative girls of all subcultures, especially goth though.

[Guest AshleyRF]

I agree about the pheromones thing. If a guy is attracted to me, then I'm 10 times more likely to be attracted to him and I've been attracted to a lot of guys lately.

[Guest angie]

I agree about the pheromones thing. If a guy is attracted to me, then I'm 10 times more likely to be attracted to him and I've been attracted to a lot of guys lately.

I have found my roving eyes take in a lot of hot men,that as my old self I didn't allow myself to see.

That some I find Extremely attractive feels normal to me now.

Blush,

Angie

[Guest Lidian]

I'm a lot like Jendar, asexual bi-affectionate.

I am attracted to both sexes but not sexually.

For me as cliche as it sounds it really is about personality when it come to chosing a partner. I don't care what someone looks like as long as i like them. given my asexuality....physical attractiviness seems irrlevant anyway XD

on a purely physical level though, i prefer men to be quite skinny, toned but not muscular, taller than me but not by miles.

i have to admite i am attracted to feminine guys xD i love long hair ^^:;...

I think with men i prefer those who don't look like they could beat the crap out of me...i have a lot of problems reliqishing control and letting anyone overpower me...on the other hand i hate men who are easiy trodden on...i think this is why i find finding a boyfriend so hard ...XD

for girls it different XD i enjoy someone who looks like she'll stand up to me, someone who look after me a bit Xd, not masculine neccesarily but not girly.

(i have a teeny tiny fetish for stomachs..for some reason i just really enjoy the sight of a toned stomach :S it's not like arousing...just pleasing XD)

[Guest Sherry7620]

Yes, there are many.

[Guest Tomgirl]

In a girl, I am mostly attracted to the charm, the smile and the charisma; three characteristics made from both the body and the mind (If a girl have those qualities, she is very likely to attract me, I’ve fallen in love with the most diverse girls you may imagine, thin, fat, small, tall, intelligent, foolish, blond and brunette girls but all of them because of her own charm). Unlike an average guy I am not looking at first glance, at a girl’s breasts or donkey unless her clothing style is particularly suggestive. I remembered in high school, one of my fellows said about a girl, I was madly secretly in love with since years, something like “what a butt” I hadn’t even noticed her butt. In my teen years I had a look at my father’s hidden magazines but wasn’t aroused by the photos, I enjoyed only one image where the girl was cute, just because of her beauty, not her nakedness. In fact if there is no cuteness in a girl, boobs, donkey and other curves are for me just pieces of meat. When I am attracted to a girl it’s always because of her charm, then I may see her curves as elements of her charm, as may be her eyes, her hair or her voice, I may as well (it’s the case most of the time) do not notice particularly her body shape because other elements like a very cute face are completely focusing my attention. This doesn’t mean I haven’t got a sexual attraction, I do have one, as well but mine is not focused on body parts seen as sexual parts (boobs, bottom,… ), I am not asexual at all. I do not feel any attraction to a male, masculine bodies are quite disgusting to me, even if in certain rare circumstances (like watching Gone with the wind) I may feel bi romantic. I have reasons to think that my preferences are similar to many bio lesbian girls’.

This attraction may create in my mind, when I am in love with a girl, a feeling like I love you/am attracted to you, so much so, I want to be you/to be your twin sister/to have the same body (this feeling may be seen similar to the title of Anne Lawrence’s article “becoming what we love” a laborious and pathetic attempt to save the Blanchard theory : Mtf are either gays trying to seduce heterosexual men, either men suffering of autogynophilia : wanting to be a woman in order to satisfy fully their own narcissistic transvestite sexual arousal. Confronted to non responding cases and contestations, Lawrence explains that autogynophilia is the root of the desire to become a woman , autogynophilia as any sexual lust may be present from time to time or only at the origin , autogynophilia may as well take as well take the form of a romantic feeling, so that’s why many Mtf denies autogynophilia to be the cause of their own desire of being female, they are not conscious of their own autogynophilia or they wrongly consider that autogynophilia is pure lust and cannot take a romantic form. In fact it is not the case for me just because I am not narcissistic. By the way, I am not sexually aroused with wearing a feminine clothe, for me it’s mainly a pleasure to express my inner gender and secondary a pleasure of tasting a forbidden fruit and breaking the boundaries, but no arousal, wearing a feminine clothe is for me not erotic by itself, sorry I do not fit with the autogynophilia theory). I am mentally in search of any suitable feminine body image reference, I do feel dubious of my own body ability to be cute and feminine, (because poisoned by the wrong hormone for years), so it’s like in some classic cartoons, the hero is going to the plastic surgeon and may choose any face desired (cartoons’ characters are always gifted with great opportunities), most Mtf would choose the loveable face of a lovely loved girl, so my feeling“ I love you I want to be the same” is a consequence of transexualism (and of course not the cause of it).

About the pheromones, I am not really very sensitive with perfumes, I may smell these odors if my nose is very near … well I would say their natural origin or a very intimate clothe, I must say these odors are special but not inevitably disgusting; I suppose that the particular odor you can sometime smell in a bathroom if you go there just after someone is as well a pheromone (I do not support to go there after my mother: quite repulsive odor, don’t mind after my female cousins).

Tomgirl