I Am What I Am

[Guest Steffania]

Hi all

I'm Steffania and I recently joined the forum. I have recently been given an upgrade LOL. I saw a therapist recently and he assesed me as TG and certainly not TV/CD. This as down to me not being sexual in in my dressing and wanting to grow my own breast. I have considered hormone therapy but simply cannot go through with it purley because I am married and my wife does not yet know about my femme side. I have tried the herbal pills but only grew a little breast tissue and my wife put it down to me putting on a little weight. I am going to try another 6 month course to see what happens as results show that it is the second course is where the best results occur! If anyone has any of there own results on herbal products feel free to send messages in whatever format. It may save me some money......ahhhhhh credit crunch!

The reasons for the new Title were because I was assesed as being happy as either sex 50/50 split. I love to be a woman as much as I can and get frustrated if I don't get the chance. (frequently) I have however spent two weeks as Steffania and don't really want to change back! It's been brilliant and my daughter who knows and likes me as Steffania has been shopping with me and doing makeup lessons.

My confusion is that there seem to be so many labels now that it's becomming harder to accept one's self as is! As I said I want to grow my own breasts but for other reasons will not ever go through the full change...I don't think so anyway! It all boils down to how your feeling and how much you want to be femenine! I would love to be a woman full time but have very solid family values and would never hurt any of them, changing sex would have terrible effects on my family! I don't want to be female completely as I have a good life as a man. My daughter says she does not want to lose her father either as she loves me as I am. Things may change in the future but,who's to know? I am happy at the moment and for the forseable future.

Will I change my label later in life again? Probably, but it's all a matter of my personal feelings and my family, of which is very large! I'm not a great fan of the label for one and a different one for another. We are all very different in many ways and as a Christian I beleive that we are all here for a reason regardless of sexual gender. What difference does it make what sex you are? some frogs are born with the abilty to change sex and are primative creatures. We as humans, are considered as highly advanced so we should not be bothered with any other label than the one we want, We are Human Beings

We are not doing but being who we are meant to be. I love all humans regardless of creed or colour or sexual label.

I am happy with the Label TG as it covers a multitude of things regarding my personal situation.......but to me it's not really important. I am what I am and love it!

I wish all of you out their, all the very best for the future whatever you are labled as and send my love and support to you all. Stay well and happy!

Love

Steffania xxx

[Guest ricka]

Steffania, Dear---I love your name BTW, and I thought your post was wonderful. Self-acceptance is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Being transgendered does not mean we have to "choose sides" in the gender spectrum! It is after all about being human beings first as you so wisely put it. The other thing you have to realize is that where we are in the gender spectrum is not neccessarily static for many of us, however don't be surprised if it happens that the more time you spend as Steffania the more you find yourself moving toward the female pole of this spectrum. For me there is a serenity and sense of completeness----"self-realization" perhaps best expresses it when I am living as the woman that I am on the inside. Though like you I am not able to live as a woman full-time given the realities of my occupation. There is that almost magical moment when I put on my wig, earrings and make-up and see the woman that I am looking back at me in the mirror. While in male mode however, looking in the mirror I see someone looking back at me who is not me. And fortunately being alone I am able to be myself living full time as a woman at home.

I can relate to what you are saying in many ways. Both of us lie somewhere between the gender poles. And like you I have not had HRT or SRS and don't see it in my future and I feel no less a woman. I do have natural, fully developed female breasts (I wear a c-cup bra) and a most definite female body shape, but I also have male genitalia and for me there is no conflict. I simply accept myself as a woman with male genitals (and not as a man with female breasts.)

That said, a huge epiphany for me was coming to the realization that i am a hetero-female and not a gay male, regardless of the genitalia I have. And believe me there is a huge difference, speaking of labels.

Re: herbal remedies for breast growth, I've seen several products out there making claims to grow breasts but I am pretty much a sceptic about their efficacy. I have never tried them and perhaps there are others on LP that have and would be willing to share their experiences, but I have never actually heard a first hand account from anyone who has success going down this road. There is an almost indescribable joy having female breasts so I wish you all the best growing yours. And don't be surprised as you let yourself be the woman that you are inside your breasts will grow naturally over time. The mind is pretty powerful when it comes to influencing the body and hormone production.

Hugs--Ricka

[gennee]

Hi Steffania. I'm happy that you are understanding who you are. Don't worry about the labels. It's how you feel. I moved from TG/CD to TG/TS. It was a change I saw coming a year or so ago. I'm very happy as I am at the present time. Don't know where this will need but I am embracing whatever comes my way.

Gennee

[Guest Steffania]

Hi Ricka

Thank you for the lovely reply and some very sound affirmations of what I was and am thinking.

My wife does not yet know about my female side but my daughter does. things will at some point, progress and I feel that I will have to deal with things as they occur. That just as it is for me but my daughter is a great support and loves me as Steffania and as Dad, it works for me for now!

On the issue of growing my own breast I have the same thoughs as you. I would simply love to have my own and very proud. I will continue to find an acceptable way of acheiving my goal and if you have any tips such as how you developed yours, I will be glad of the information!

When closeted as I am forced to be, getting any progress is always slow, but i've been told it's the best policy. Slowly slowly catch a monkey!

Whe I do finally acheive any noticable success I will have to have an explanation for my wife but that's me. I will force myself to take the necessary steps needed! The herbal tablets I took had a little success and I actually ended up with a little breast tissue. Enough to create a cleavage when putting in my silicon ones! I had nothing before that so I was pleased to a degree, but need to order some more herbal pills to see if a long term use will do the job!

Thanks again for the reponse and take care and be happy and well.

Hugs

Steffania xx

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi all

I'm Steffania and I recently joined the forum. I have recently been given an upgrade LOL. I saw a therapist recently and he assesed me as TG and certainly not TV/CD. This as down to me not being sexual in in my dressing and wanting to grow my own breast. I have considered hormone therapy but simply cannot go through with it purley because I am married and my wife does not yet know about my femme side. I have tried the herbal pills but only grew a little breast tissue and my wife put it down to me putting on a little weight. I am going to try another 6 month course to see what happens as results show that it is the second course is where the best results occur! If anyone has any of there own results on herbal products feel free to send messages in whatever format. It may save me some money......ahhhhhh credit crunch!

Steffania xxx

Steffania, I know you don't want to hear this, but I have to tell you that taking herbal products to induce physical changes such as breast growth can

be extremely dangerous. It is not much different than taking medicines without a doctor's care. Many people consider herbal products to be

risk free and safe, and believe me they are not. You risk serious damage to yourself.

The forum rules prohibit advocacy of herbal medicines or self-treatment. Laura has mentioned in various posts about the dangers of herbal

remedies and supplements to assist in transition, and there are many horror stories she has related about it.

If you are headed towards transition, I urge you to get a referral to a medical doctor when and if you are ready to begin transition.

Please do it the safe way, under the care of therapists and experienced doctors. We want you and all the members to be safe. Doing it yourself can

result in permanent injury or even death. I'm not exaggerating here. What you are doing is DANGEROUS!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Steffania]

Steffania, I know you don't want to hear this, but I have to tell you that taking herbal products to induce physical changes such as breast growth can

be extremely dangerous. It is not much different than taking medicines without a doctor's care. Many people consider herbal products to be

risk free and safe, and believe me they are not. You risk serious damage to yourself.

The forum rules prohibit advocacy of herbal medicines or self-treatment. Laura has mentioned in various posts about the dangers of herbal

remedies and supplements to assist in transition, and there are many horror stories she has related about it.

If you are headed towards transition, I urge you to get a referral to a medical doctor when and if you are ready to begin transition.

Please do it the safe way, under the care of therapists and experienced doctors. We want you and all the members to be safe. Doing it yourself can

result in permanent injury or even death. I'm not exaggerating here. What you are doing is DANGEROUS!

Carolyn Marie

Thanks Carolyn

I have always thought that herbal pills were the safe way to go.......after reading up a lot more about them since reading this, I am taking your advice!! I was shocked to discover what problems were caused to some people!

Thanks again for the info and advice welcomely taken!

Hugs

Steffania

[Carolyn Marie]

Steffania, you are most welcome, Hon. Its nice to know that advice is sometimes heeded

and results in a positive outcome.

You made my day!

Warm HUGS

Carolyn Marie