Confusion Ad Such

[Guest Lily B]

I hate to sound really whinny and depressing but i dont really have anyone or anywhere else to talk about being transgendered so I'll say it here.

First of all, for the last several months I've been watching my life go through some pretty complicated transformations, which I think is to be expected if you're considering a gender shift. But more recently everything has gotten wayy more complicated.

About a month ago I was told by a therapist that I am experiencing the beginning stages of psychosis (which is nothing like it's made out to be in popular culture). So even though my feelings toward gender have been with me almost all my life I'm completely at a loss as to whether those feelings make sense or what I'm supposed to be doing or if solving anything even makes sense. being transgendered becomes wayyy more intense when its hard to shake the feeling that strangers can hear your thoughts, and any answers I've thought I've figured out become very tentative when I'm not sure if I should be trusting my own ability to reason or the information form my senses. Its also difficult to find any sort of ally since even people I've met who are...or claim they are for free gender expression, seem hateful and dont understand, and it doesen't seem like a good idea to go telling everyone that I'm a little bit psychotic.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

[Guest angie]

I had two nervous breakdowns on the road to setting myself free.

The last,a total one,put me as an inbound patient for three months.

Everyone thought I was a nut case,when I said empathically I am a woman.

I would not tell anyone you have a psychosis.You have GID a totally repairable

condition.The gender in your mind is your real gender,it isn't a mental illness

to know you are a girl.

Hugs,

Angie

[Carolyn Marie]

Lily, GID is not a mental illness, nor is it a symptom of any other mental illness that I know of.

So if you believe you are transgendered, then that is real and not something you are imagining.

Please talk to your G.T. about your concerns. They can provide the appropriate advice and reassurances.

You are among friends here, so bring any problem or concern to us and we will not judge you. If you need allies you've

found the right place.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest viv]

Hi Lily,

Welcome hun, I recon most folk here dont know what to make of me. Manic, Cooky (very, imo),

sometimes a little wacko , I actually told my Therapist the best laugh I get is when Im laughing at

myself,,,he signed me off pretty quick after that,, Mmmmm. We can get through life with some

difficulties to carry and you will too, EASY. Your sisters here will give you all the love and support

we can . You will see this little hurdle through and reach your goals in life . Please keep in touch

with us here hun, 24 hours a day seven days a week , someone will be here for you. Luv, viv

[Guest Lily B]

Thank you so much, your responses really mean alot to me. Its really good to know that I am not the only one having a difficult time keepings things together all the time.

[Guest yvonne]

Lily,

I'd say your thoughts are probably fairly normal for a person with GID. In my own case, I've spent a lifetime dealing with mental stress over serious GID conflicts. My brain says, "I want to be a girl, or I am a girl". Then, part of my brain says, "Quit acting like a sissy, man up, you're a man, you'd be ugly as a woman, stop it, it's not an option for you".

Around and around the conflict goes and there seems no logical way to resolve it. The majority of hormone therapy and surgery cases relating to GID that I'd read or heard about were very sad stories with bad endings. It seemed to me like this is something I just have to live with, so I did.

I found this site and simply read it for months. I found many with similar thoughts and feelings like I had. I read many stories that could have been my story.

I began to realize that it was possible to fix my inner conflicts and actually have a successful life in transition. So, I joined the group and the truth slowly dawned on me--there is a process for fixing my head and relieving the stress.

So, keep going to therapy (if your therapist really understands GID, find another if they don't), keep reading here, start posting more here and use all of us girls here to share your thoughts. Talking things out is important and you can do it here with very experienced people (and some who are right where you're at).

Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is a serious medical condition. It can be treated. If not treated, it can CAUSE serious mental problems. The mental problems are a result of unresolved GID conflicts.

In my case, after telling my story to a therapist and being diagnosed medically as GID, it gave me a complete mental overhaul in no time. Knowing what I have and understanding what that means has cleared my head like it's never been in my life.

I wish you peace and hope we can help you find it for yourself.

A warm hug of compassion for you,

Yvonne