Pro-anorexia And Transgender

[Guest Katherine H]

Hey everybody,

I'm new to the forum / site and don't really know the procedures too well, so please bear with me as I try to learn.

I'm a genetic male, but for as long as I can remember I've felt out of place in my body. I've always wanted to be a girl. As a result, and because of a growing problem with my weight (rapid increase, health problems becoming potentially serious), I began starving myself and running five or more miles a day. I lost sixty pounds doing so, but it wasn't enough. When I went to college, the freedom allowed me to explore the realities of my condition even more, and I began to log onto Pro-Ana sites. I loved the message and the solidarity; it made me feel special and loved even when I hated myself more than anything else in the world. I learned tips and tricks and poems and prayers to help further my condition. My weight loss continued and I lost ten more pounds before I was sent to the counselors and eventually home for depression and eating disorder issues.

Despite receiving treatment I have not changed my position and still consider myself Pro-Ana. I would like to change this, as I know that I need to recover if I am to do anything with my life, but I still hate my body immensely and feel that starving it is the best way to achieve my weight loss goals and to punish myself.

Does anyone else understand what I mean? Can anyone offer support? I can try to reword all this or explain further if someone requires that...

[Guest AlexanderG]

You'll have to define 'pro' for me, as I'm never sure what others mean by it.

To some it means "I accept I have an ED, and embrace it as part of myself."

To some it means "I do not have a disorder, I am making choices."

With the former I sympathyse, and the only reason I'm not pro-ANA is that I'm too weak to go to that length, but I'm too aware of the complication of it all to deny this is something I can't stop if I want to, and that 'choice' is, well...

[Guest Gwen Lynn]

I am not sure that I can help, but I had to reply because your life story sounds exactly like mine, I have the same problem and have had this all my life and for the longist I didnt even no they had a name for it, because for years I though I was the only one that had this, and it has been in the past few decades that it has come out in the open, through the news and celebrities like Britney spears of whom I am a big fan, and other young actresses singers and models. at one time in my life I gained two hundred and five pounds, and in three to four months I got down to a hundred and fourty nine pounds, then gained again getting up to a hundred and seventy five pounds, now I am at a hundered and fourty eight pounds and still losing trying to see much I can loose.

my family is worried and dont know how to deal with it, girlfriend is affraid that I am subconciusly trying to comit suicide, and told me today that she could not watch me do this to myself, we are now separted because of this but still friends and she is very suportive and loves me very much but htis causes her to cry, that is why I am here reading about and trying to understand what is happening to me and many other transgenders.

understanding your condition and in hopes that in can be corrected, and hopes and wishes of luck, needed support and helpful advice.

Gwen

[Guest Ti?]

This is something i've also struggled with. While i am naturally quite slender, i wasn't able to attain the girlish figure that i have now without some fasting. I don't think this is healthy behavior and it is best that anyone dealing with what they think to be anorexia or bulimia should seek immediate help. That being said, i quit my unhealthy eating patterns shortly after getting rid of my television. You don't even realize how many negative and unrealistic portrayals of women there are in the media until your limit your exposure to it. Don't try to be someone you saw on tv. Be the beautiful woman you were meant to be, both inside and out

[Guest HaidyHaid]

I understand what you are going through immensely. Right now I am going through a bad cycle of my own ana. I've lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks (which, horribly enough, I'm thrilled about).

I feel like starving my body punishes myself and makes me feel, oddly enough, more like a man. I lose my curves and breasts and it makes me happier.

If you are looking for someone to help you in recovery, I am afraid I cannot help you there.

Though, I do know some websites for recovery, and how to go about getting proper help. having them just stick you with tubes and inflate you does nothing but make you want to lose weight again.

[Guest alexei_tiresias]

Optimal wellness while still recognizing one's own pathology is hard to acheive. I moderate a board for this particular type of thing---we are not 'pro ana' or 'pro recovery' necessarily, more like.... trying to make the best of the situation and encouraging each other to be as safe as possible. am i allowed to a post a link on here to this site? It is different and more mature than a lot of awful 'pro ana' sites with their dangerous tricks and such (ie, people who take those poems seriously instead of seeing them as an artist reflection of the disease, or sites being filled with people who 'want' anorexia)

[VickySGV]

The other sites you refer to would not be allowable under Board Rule 24 which forbids references to life threatening or health threatening practices. Any site regarding this practice would bring their attention to other members here and thusly violate the rule.

[Guest Nova Maria]

Ok, girl, here's the deal: that whole "Pro-Ana" think is a bunch of BS.

As trans individuals, we go up against the world each and every day. If you're going against yourself, too, you're not going to make it, plain and simple. You are beautiful and perfect and amazing, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

And if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?

[Guest GinaInside]

Hi Katherine,

I sort-of went through something like you're experiencing, some years ago during my last attempt to Transition. I did'nt think of it as anorexia, and was very careful about my wieght loss. I was on hormones, and was softening up really nice, but lil jelly-roll would'nt quite go away...so, I practically lived on Sli-Fast and heavy doses of vitamins for like 3 months. At long last my waistline felt normal, and my tummy was tight (lots of crunches).

Well, I got a small injury, and had to go see the regular doctor, who looked at my prvious wieght, and freaked out...He had me give up some blood, because he thought I had HIV...I looked pretty Fem, so he was suspicious. I was afriad to tell him I was on hormones, and going for Transition. Truth was (and still is ) that I have not had sex in so long, I'm probably requalified for Virginity...

But, please becareful with your wieght, and remember, that when you lose wieght, you lose muscle-mass before you lose fat-mass. This will put extra strain on your heart, because it is a muscle. And extra strain on other organs that normally process food, and will depleat your body's natural nutrient content. Please manage your wight safely.

Hugz,

Gina Renee